Reversed
by LuckyDuckyPomluv
Summary: Roles reversed. Jared is captured instead of Mel. Ian is the soul inside of him while Wanda is siblings with Kyle. Iridescents Across the Night (Ian) is different from other souls. He hates them so after being placed into Jared it is decided to send him back to the Blind World. Before that can happen he escapes with others and finds Jebs caves and Mel. Jared POV
1. Chapter 1 InsertedRemembered

**An idea I had after reading the Host. Similar to it but the roles are reversed. Jared is a caught instead of Melanie, Ian is the soul instead of Wanda, Wanda and kyle are twins.**

**I do not own the Host or its characters**

**PROLOGUE**

Inserted

The Healer's name was Fords Deep Waters.  
Because he was a soul, by nature he was all things good: compassionate, patient, honest, virtuous, and full of love. Anxiety was an unusual emotion for Fords Deep Waters.

Irritation was even rarer. However, because Fords Deep Waters lived inside a human body, irritation was sometimes inescapable.  
As the whispers of the Healing students buzzed in the far corner of the operating room, his lips pressed together into a tight line. The expression felt out of place on a mouth more often given to smiling.

Darren, his regular assistant, saw the grimace and patted his shoulder.  
"They're just curious, Fords," he said quietly.  
"An insertion is hardly an interesting or challenging procedure. Any soul on the street could perform it in an emergency. There's nothing for them to learn by observing today." Fords was surprised to hear the sharp edge marring his normally soothing voice.  
"They've never seen a grown human before," Darren said.  
Fords raised one eyebrow. "Are they blind to each other's faces? Do they not have mirrors?"  
"You know what I mean-a wild human. Still soulless. One of the insurgents."  
Fords looked at the man's unconscious body, laid out facedown on the operating table. Pity swelled in his heart as he remembered the condition his poor, broken body had been in when the Seekers had brought him to the Healing facility. Such pain he'd endured...

Of course he was perfect now-completely healed. Fords had seen to that.  
"He looks the same as any of us," Fords murmured to Darren. "We all have human faces. And when he wakes up, he will be one of us, too."  
"It's just exciting for them, that's all."

"The soul we implant today deserves more respect than to have his host body gawked at this way. He'll already have far too much to deal with as he acclimates. It's not fair to put him through this." By this, he did not mean the gawking. Fords heard the sharp edge return to his voice.  
Darren patted him again. "It will be fine. The Seeker needs information and -"  
At the wordSeeker, Fords gave Darren a look that could only be described as a glare. Darren blinked in shock.  
"I'm sorry," Fords apologized at once. "I didn't mean to react so negatively. It's just that I fear for this soul."  
His eyes moved to the cryotank on its stand beside the table. The light was a steady, dull red, indicating that it was occupied and in hibernation mode.  
"This soul was specially picked for the assignment," Darren said soothingly. "He is exceptional among our kind-braver than most. His lives speak for themselves. I think he would volunteer, if it were possible to ask him."  
"Who among us would not volunteer if asked to do something for the greater good? But is that really the case here? Is the greater good served by this? The question is not his willingness, but what it is right to ask any soul to bear."  
The Healing students were discussing the hibernating soul as well. Fords could hear the whispers clearly; their voices were rising now, getting louder with their excitement.  
"He's lived on six planets."  
"I heard seven."  
"I heard he's never lived two terms as the same host species."  
"Is that possible?"  
"He's been almost everything. A Flower, a Bear, a Spider -"  
"A See Weed, a Bat -"  
"Even a Dragon!"  
"I don't believe it-not seven planets."

"At least seven. He started on the Origin."  
"Really? The Origin?"  
"Quiet, please!" Fords interrupted.

"If you cannot observe professionally and silently, then I will have to ask you to remove yourselves."

Abashed, the six students fell silent and edged away from one another.  
"Let's get on with this, Darren."  
Everything was prepared. The appropriate medicines were laid out beside the human man. His short dark hair was secured beneath a surgical cap, exposing his thick neck. Deeply sedated, he breathed slowly in and out. His sun-browned skin had barely a mark to show for his... accident.  
"Begin thaw sequence now, please, Darren."  
The gray-haired assistant was already waiting beside the cryotank, his hand resting on the dial. He flipped the safety back and spun down on the dial. The red light atop the small gray cylinder began to pulse, flashing faster as the seconds passed, changing color.  
Fords concentrated on the unconscious body; he edged the scalpel through the skin at the base of the subject's skull with small, precise movements, and then sprayed on the medication that stilled the excess flow of blood before he widened the fissure. Fords delved delicately beneath the neck muscles, careful not to injure them, exposing the pale bones at the top of the spinal column.  
"The soul is ready, Fords," Darren informed him.  
"So am I. Bring him."

Fords felt Darren at his elbow and knew without looking that his assistant would be prepared, his hand stretched out and waiting; they had worked together for many years now. Fords held the gap open.  
"Send him home," he whispered.  
Darren's hand moved into view, the silver gleam of an awaking soul in his cupped palm.  
Fords never saw an exposed soul without being struck by the beauty of it.  
The soul shone in the brilliant lights of the operating room, brighter than the reflective silver instrument in his hand. Like a living ribbon, he twisted and rippled, stretching, happy to be free of the cryotank. His thin, feathery attachments, nearly a thousand of them, billowed softly like pale silver hair. Though they were all lovely, this one seemed particularly graceful to Fords Deep Waters.

He was not alone in his reaction. He heard Darren's soft sigh, heard the admiring murmurs of the students.  
Gently, Darren placed the small glistening creature inside the opening Fords had made in the human's neck. The soul slid smoothly into the offered space, weaving himself into the alien anatomy. Fords admired the skill with which he possessed his new home. His attachments wound tightly into place around the nerve centers, some elongating and reaching deeper to where he couldn't see, under and up into the brain, the optic nerves, the ear canals. He was very quick, very firm in his movements. Soon, only one small segment of his glistening body was visible.  
"Well done," he whispered to him, knowing that he could not hear him. The human man was the one with ears, and he still slept soundly.  
It was a routine matter to finish the job. He cleaned and healed the wound, applied the salve that sealed the incision closed behind the soul, and then brushed the scar-softening powder across the line left on his neck.

"Perfect, as usual," said the assistant, who, for some reason unfathomable to Fords, had never made a change from his human host's name, Darren.  
Fords sighed. "I regret this day's work."  
"You're only doing your duty as a Healer."  
"This is the rare occasion when Healing creates an injury."  
Darren began to clean up the workstation. He didn't seem to know how to answer. Fords was filling his Calling. That was enough for Darren.  
But not enough for Fords Deep Waters, who was a true Healer to the core of his being. He gazed  
anxiously at the human male's body, peaceful in slumber, knowing that this peace would be shattered  
as soon as he awoke. All the horror of this young man's end would be borne by the innocent soul  
he'd just placed inside him.

As he leaned over the human and whispered in his ear, Fords wished fervently that the soul inside could hear him now.

"Good luck. How I wish you didn't need it."

**CHAPTER 1**

Remembered

I knew it would begin with the end, and the end would look like death to these eyes. I had been warned.  
Not these eyes. Mine. This was me now.

The language I found myself using was odd, but it made sense. Choppy, boxy, blind, and linear. Impossibly crippled in comparison to many I'd used, yet still it managed to find fluidity and expression. Sometimes beauty. My language now. My native tongue.  
With the truest instinct of my kind, I'd bound myself securely into the body's center of thought, twined myself inescapably into its every breath and reflex until it was no longer a separate entity. It was me.  
Not the body,my body.

I felt the sedation wearing off and lucidity taking its place. I braced myself for the onslaught of the first memory, which would really be the last memory-the last moments this body had experienced, the memory of the end. I had been warned thoroughly of what would happen now. These human emotions would be stronger, more vital than the feelings of any other species I had been. I had tried to prepare myself.

The memory came. And, as I'd been warned, it was not something that could ever be prepared for.

It seared with sharp color and ringing sound. Cold on his skin, pain gripping his limbs, burning them. The taste was fiercely metallic in his mouth. And there was the new sense, the fifth sense I'd never had, that took the particles from the air and transformed them into strange messages and pleasures and warnings in his brain-scents. They were distracting, confusing to me, but not to his memory. The memory had no time for the novelties of smell. The memory was only fear.  
Fear locked him in a vise, goading the blunt, clumsy limbs forward but hampering them at the same time. To flee, to run-it was all he could do.

I've failed.  
The memory that was not mine was so frighteningly strong and clear that it sliced through my control-overwhelmed the detachment, the knowledge that this was just a memory and not me. Sucked into the hell that was the last minute of his life, I was he, and we were running.  
It's so dark. I can't see. I can't see the floor. I can't see my hands stretched out in front of me. I run blind and try to hear the pursuit I can feel behind me, but the pulse is so loud behind my ears it drowns everything else out.  
It's cold. It shouldn't matter now, but it hurts. I'm so cold.  
The air in his nose was uncomfortable. Bad. A bad smell. For one second, that discomfort pulled me free of the memory. But it was only a second, and then I was dragged in again, and my eyes filled with horrified tears.

I'm lost, we're lost. It's over.  
They're right behind me now, loud and close. There are so many footsteps! I am alone. I've failed.  
The Seekers are calling. The sound of their voices twists my stomach. I'm going to be sick.  
"It's fine, it's fine," one lies, trying to calm me, to slow me. His voice is disturbed by the effort of his breathing.  
"Be careful!" another shouts in warning.  
"Don't hurt yourself," one of them pleads. A high voice, full of concern. Concern!  
Heat shot through my veins, and a violent hatred nearly choked me. I will not let them get me.

I had never felt such an emotion as this in all my lives. For another second, my revulsion pulled me away from the memory. A deep, roar keening pierced my ears and pulsed in my head. The sound scraped through my airways. There was a weak pain in my throat.  
Screaming, my body explained. You're screaming.  
I froze in shock, and the sound broke off abruptly.  
This was not a memory.  
My body-he was thinking! Speaking to me!

But the memory was stronger, in that moment, than my astonishment.  
"Please!" they cry. "There is no danger!"

The danger is behind! I scream back in my mind. There is no way out. Nothing but a dead end. Abandoned, empty, and condemned, like this building. Once a hiding place, now a tomb.  
A surge of relief floods through me as I race forward. I then see a small window. There is a way. No way to survive, but perhaps a way to win.  
No, no, no! This thought was all mine, and I fought to pull myself away from him, but we were together.  
"Please!" The shouts are more desperate. I pull out my knife from my pocket.  
I feel like laughing when I know that I am fast enough. I imagine their hands clutching for me just inches behind my back. I am as fast as I need to be but then I stop. The Seekers also stop in amazement. They begin smiling thinking I have given up. But they are wrong. I have not given up.

I hold the knife up so they can see. I turn it seeming if as if I will drop it but then quickly slice it across my throat. Their faces turn into shock. I then run through the small window head first.  
The emptiness swallows me. My legs flail, useless. My hands grip the air, claw through it, searching for anything solid. Cold blows past me like tornado winds.  
I hear the thud before I feel it... The wind is gone...  
And then pain is everywhere... Pain is everything.  
Make it stop.  
Not high enough, I whisper to myself through the pain.  
When will the pain end? When... ?  
The blackness swallowed up the agony, and I was weak with gratitude that the memory had come to this most final of conclusions. The blackness took all, and I was free. I took a breath to steady myself, as was this body's habit. My body.

But then the color rushed back, the memory reared up and engulfed me again. No! I panicked, fearing the cold and the pain and the very fear itself.  
But this was not the same memory. This was a memory within a memory-a final memory, like a last gasp of air-yet, somehow, even stronger than the first.  
The blackness took all but this: a face.  
The face was as alien to me as the faceless serpentine tentacles of my last host body would be to this new body. I'd seen this kind of face in the images I had been given to prepare for this world. It was hard to tell them apart, to see the tiny variations in color and shape that were the only markers of the individual. So much the same, all of them. Noses centered in the middle of the sphere, eyes above and mouths below, ears around the sides. A collection of senses, all but touch, concentrated in one place. Skin over bones, hair growing on the crown and in strange furry lines above the eyes. Some had more fur lower down on the jaw; those were always males. The colors ranged through the brown scale from pale cream to a deep almost-black. Aside from that, how to know one from the other?

This face I would have known among millions.

This face was a soft square, high cheek bones under the skin. In color it was a light golden brown. The hair was just a few shades darker than the skin, except where flaxen streaks lightened it, and it covered only the head and the odd fur stripes above the eyes. The circular irises in the white eyeballs were lighter than the hair but, like the hair, flecked with green. There were small lines around the eyes, and his memories told me the lines were from smiling and squinting into sunlight.

I knew nothing of what passed for beauty among these strangers, and yet I knew that this face was beautiful. I wanted to keep looking at it. As soon as I realized this, it disappeared.

_Mine_, spoke the alien thought that should not have existed.

Again, I was frozen, stunned. There should have been no one here but me. And yet this thought was so strong and so aware!

Impossible. How was he still here? This was me now.

Mine, I rebuked him, the power and authority that belonged to me alone flowing through the word.  
Everything is mine.

So why am I talking back to him? I wondered as the voices interrupted my thoughts.


	2. Chapter 2 & 3 ResistedOverheard

**Okay just updated the chapter a little bit so it isnt quite the same as the Host**

**Sorry I put "Ians" last planet as the See-Weeds but I wanted it to be the Singing world**

**I do not own the Host or characters**

**CHAPTER 2**

Overheard

The voices were soft and close and, though I was only now aware of them, apparently in the middle of a murmured conversation.

"I'm afraid it's too much for him," one said. The voice was soft but deep, male. "Too much for anyone. Such violence!" The tone spoke of revulsion.

"He screamed only once. Males here are particually strong," said a higher, reedy, female voice, pointing this out with a hint of glee, as if she were winning an argument.

"I know," the man admitted. "He is very strong. Others have had much more trauma, with much less cause."

"I'm sure he'll be fine, just as I told you."

"Maybe you missed your Calling." There was an edge to the man's voice. Sarcasm, my memory named it. "Perhaps you were meant to be a Healer, like me."

The woman made a sound of amusement. Laughter. "I doubt that. We Seekers prefer a different sort of diagnosis."  
My body knew this word, this title: Seeker. It sent a shudder of fear down my spine and fire through my veins. A leftover reaction. Of course, I had no reason to fear or hate Seekers.  
"I sometimes wonder if the infection of humanity touches those in your profession," the man mused, his voice still sour with annoyance. "Violence is part of your life choice. Does enough of your body's native temperament linger to give you enjoyment of the horror?"  
I was surprised at his accusation, at his tone. This discussion was almost like... an argument. Something my host was familiar with but that I'd never experienced.  
The woman was defensive. "We do not choose violence. We face it when we must. And it's a good thing for the rest of you that some of us are strong enough for the unpleasantness. Your peace would be shattered without our work."  
"Once upon a time. Your vocation will soon be obsolete, I think."  
"The error of that statement lies on the bed there."  
"One human man, alone and unarmed! Yes, quite a threat to our peace."  
The woman breathed out heavily. A sigh. "Human men are the most violent of the species. But where did he come from? How did he appear in the middle of Chicago, a city long since civilized, hundreds of miles from any trace of rebel activity? Did he manage it alone?"  
She listed the questions without seeming to seek an answer, as if she had already voiced them many times.  
"That's your problem, not mine," the man said. "My job is to help this soul adapt himself to his new host without unnecessary pain or trauma. And you are here to interfere with my job."

Still slowly surfacing, acclimating myself to this new world of senses, I understood only now that I was the subject of the conversation. I was the soul they spoke of. It was a new connotation to the word, a word that had meant many other things to my host. On every planet we took a different name. Soul. I suppose it was an apt description. The unseen force that guides the body. I do not remember being a soul before.  
"The answers to my questions matter as much as your responsibilities to the soul."  
"That's debatable."  
There was the sound of movement, and her voice was suddenly a whisper. "When will he become responsive? The sedation must be about to wear off."  
"When he's ready. Leave him be. He deserves to handle the situation however he finds most comfortable. Imagine the shock of his awakening-inside a rebel host injured to the point of death in the escape attempt! No one should have to endure such trauma in times of peace!" His voice rose with the increase of emotion.  
"He is strong." The woman's tone was reassuring now. "See how well he did with the first memory, the worst memory. Whatever he expected, he handled this."  
"Why should he have to?" the man muttered, but he didn't seem to expect an answer.

The woman answered anyway. "If we're to get the information we need -"  
"Need being your word. I would choose the term want. "  
"Then someone must take on the unpleasantness," she continued as if he had not interrupted. "And I think, from all I know of this one, he would accept the challenge if there had been any way to ask him. What do you call him?"

The man didn't speak for a long moment. The woman waited.  
"We will ask him," he finally and unwillingly answered.  
"Fine," she said. "I don't have any official statistics, but he has to be one of the very few, if not the only one, who has wandered so far. Yes, we'll wait until he chooses a new name for himself."  
He said nothing.

"Of course, he may assume the host's name... We found no matches on record for the fingerprints or retinal scan. I can't tell you what that name was."  
"He won't take the human name," the man muttered.  
Her response was conciliatory. "Everyone finds comfort their own way."  
"This wanderer will need more comfort than most, thanks to your style of Seeking."

There were sharp sounds-footsteps, staccato against a hard floor. When she spoke again, the woman's voice was across the room from the man.  
"You would have reacted poorly to the early days of this occupation," she said.  
"Perhaps you react poorly to peace."

The woman laughed, but the sound was false-there was no real amusement. My mind seemed well adapted to inferring the true meanings from tones and inflections.

"You do not have a clear perception of what my Calling entails. Long hours hunched over files and maps. Mostly desk work. Not very often the conflict or violence you seem to think it is."  
"Ten days ago you were armed with killing weapons, running this body down."  
"The exception, I assure you, not the rule. Do not forget, the weapons that disgust you are turned on our kind wherever we Seekers have not been vigilant enough. The humans kill us happily whenever they have the ability to do so. Those whose lives have been touched by the hostility see us as heroes."  
"You speak as if a war were raging."

"To the remains of the human race, one is."  
These words were strong in my ears. My body reacted to them; I felt my breathing speed, heard the sound of my heart pumping louder than was usual. Beside the bed I lay on, a machine registered the increases with a muted beeping. The Healer and the Seeker were too involved in their disagreement to notice.  
"But one that even they must realize is long lost. They are outnumbered by what? A million to one? I imagine you would know."  
"We estimate the odds are quite a bit higher in our favor," she admitted grudgingly.  
The Healer appeared to be content to let his side of the disagreement rest with that information. It was quiet for a moment.

I used the empty time to evaluate my situation. Much was obvious. I was in a Healing facility, recovering from an unusually traumatic insertion. I was sure the body that hosted me had been fully healed before it was given to me. A damaged host would have been disposed of.

I do not remember though asking to come here. The last thing I remember was wanting to die. I wanted my last host to serve as my final one. Why am I here inside of a new host? I did not choose to be sent here. I don't want to be a murderer anymore. The planet called Earth was as peaceful and serene as it looked from space, invitingly green and blue, wreathed in its harmless white vapors. As was the way of the soul, harmony was universal now. We do not deserve to be on this planet.

The verbal dissension between the Healer and the Seeker was out of character. Strangely aggressive for our kind. It made me wonder. Could they be true, the whispered rumors that had undulated like waves through the thoughts of the... of the...

I was distracted, trying to find the name for my last host species. We'd had a name, I knew that. But, no longer connected to that host, I could not remember the word. We'd used much simpler language than this, a silent language of thought that connected us all into one great mind. A necessary convenience when one was rooted forever into the wet black soil.

I could describe that species in my new human language. We lived in the trees. Because we have no eyes there really isnt much to describe us other than as Bats, although I do not think we resemble the bats here. We could fly, I loved that the most. The Bats communicate with music and live their lives filled with singing and harmony. So, while sight is lost, it is replaced by the incredible beauty of song. The only silence is when a Bat grieves. Only when their need for song is greater than the pain of loss do they return to their kind and sing again.

I could describe us, but I could not name us exactly. I sighed for the lost knowledge, and then returned my ponderings to what I'd overheard.  
Souls did not, as a rule, speak anything but the truth. Seekers, of course, had the requirements of their Calling, but between souls there was never reason for a lie. With my last species' language of thought, it would have been impossible to lie, even had we wanted to. However, anchored as we were, we told ourselves stories to alleviate the boredom. Storytelling was the most honored of all talents, for it benefited everyone. Sometimes, fact mixed with fiction so thoroughly that, though no lies were told, it was hard to remember what was strictly true.

When they thought of the new planet-Earth, so dry, so varied, and filled with such violent, destructive denizens they could barely imagine them-our horror was sometimes overshadowed by our excitement. Stories spun themselves quickly around the thrilling new subject. The wars-wars! our kind having to fight!-were first reported accurately and then embellished and fictionalized.

But there were whispers of this: of human hosts so strong that the souls were forced to abandon them. Hosts whose minds could not be completely suppressed. Souls who took on the personality of the body, rather than the other way around. Stories. Wild rumors. Madness.  
But that seemed almost to be the Healer's accusation...

I dismissed the thought. The more likely meaning of his censure was the distaste most of us felt for the Seeker's Calling. Who would choose a life of conflict and pursuit? Who would be attracted to the chore of tracking down unwilling hosts and capturing them? Who would have the stomach to face the violence of this particular species, the hostile humans who killed so easily, so thoughtlessly? Here, on this planet, the Seekers had become practically a... militia-my new brain supplied the term for the unfamiliar concept. Most believed that only the least civilized souls, the least evolved, the lesser among us, would be drawn to the path of Seeker.

Still, on Earth the Seekers had gained new status. Never before had an occupation gone so awry. Never before had it turned into a fierce and bloody battle. Never before had the lives of so many souls been sacrificed. The Seekers stood as a mighty shield, and the souls of this world were thrice-over indebted to them: for the safety they had carved out of the mayhem, for the risk of the final death that they faced willingly every day, and for the new bodies they continued to provide.  
Now that the danger was virtually past, it appeared the gratitude was fading. And, for this Seeker at least, the change was not a pleasant one.  
It was easy to imagine what her questions for me would be. Though the Healer was trying to buy me time to adjust to my new body, I knew I would do my best to not help the Seeker. She would not learn about the humans my host knew or loved. They would not be murdered.

So I took a deep breath to prepare myself. The monitor registered the movement. I knew I was stalling a bit. I hated to admit it, but I was afraid. I was afraid of the voice I'd heard so loudly in my head. But he was silent now. He was just a memory, too.

I should not have been afraid but I am.

With another deep breath, I delved into the memories that frightened me, faced them head-on with my teeth locked together.

I could skip past the end-it didn't overwhelm me now. In fast-forward, I ran through the dark again, wincing, trying not to feel. It was over quickly.

Once I was through that barrier, it wasn't hard to float through less-alarming things and places, skimming for the basic information I wanted. I saw how he'd come to this cold city, driving by night in a stolen car chosen for its nondescript appearance. He'd walked through the streets of Chicago in darkness, shivering beneath his coat.

He was doing his own seeking. There were others like him here, or so he hoped. One in particular. A friend... no, family. Not a cousin... a sister. The words came slower and slower, and at first I did not understand why. Was this forgotten? Lost in the trauma of an almost death? Was I still sluggish from unconsciousness? I struggled to think clearly. This sensation was unfamiliar. Was my body still sedated? I felt alert enough, but my mind labored unsuccessfully for the answers I wanted.

I tried another avenue of searching, hoping for clearer responses. What was his goal? He would find...Jessica-I fished out the name-and they would...

I hit a wall.

It was a blank, a nothing. I tried to circle around it, but I couldn't find the edges of the void. It was as if the information I sought had been erased.

As if this brain had been damaged.

Anger flashed through me, hot and wild. I gasped in surprise at the unexpected reaction. I'd heard of the emotional instability of these human bodies, but this was beyond my ability to anticipate. In eight full lives, I'd never had an emotion touch me with such force.

I felt the blood pulse through my neck, pounding behind my ears. My hands tightened into fists.

The machines beside me reported the acceleration of my heartbeats. There was a reaction in the room: the sharp tap of the Seeker's shoes approached me, mingled with a quieter shuffle that must have been the Healer.

"Welcome to Earth," the female voice said.

** CHAPTER 3**

Resisted

"He might not recognize the planets name," the Healer murmured.

A new sensation distracted me. Something pleasant, a change in the air as the Seeker stood at my side. A scent, I realized. Something different than the sterile, odorless room. Perfume, my new mind told me. Floral, lush...

"Can you hear me?" the Seeker asked, interrupting my analysis. "Are you aware?"  
"Take your time," the Healer urged in a softer voice than the one he had used before.

I did not open my eyes. I didn't want to be distracted. My mind gave me the words I needed, and the tone that would convey what I couldn't say without using many words.

"Have I been brought here and placed in a host in order to gain the information you need, Seeker?"

The Seeker gasped. Hissed, my memory corrected.

"Why would you ask such a question?," the Seeker asked.

"I did not ask to be sent to another world, to be put in _another_ host" My tone was stiff, still angry. I wasn't used to anger. It was hard to contain it.

There was a pause.

"Is that not what you want?," the Seeker asked.

"What I want? Who would want to be put in a host that was retrieved from a suicide attempt that was perilously close to succeeding?"

"Everything was in perfect order -"

The Healer cut her off. "Why didn't you want to have another host?" he asked.

"I had made myself clear I would live out the rest of my hosts life and that would be it"

Though there was no sound, there was a change. The atmosphere changed at me saying the words. It tensed a bit. I wondered how I knew this. I had a strange sensation that I was somehow receiving more than my five senses were giving me-almost a feeling that there was another sense, on the fringes, not quite harnessed. Intuition? That was almost the right word. As if any creature needed more than five senses.  
The Seeker cleared her throat, but it was the Healer who answered.

"Oh," he said. "It may not be completely _your_ reasoning"

"I don't understand your meaning."

"This host was part of the human resistance." There was a hint of excitement in the Seeker's voice now.

"Those humans who were aware of us before insertion are more difficult to subdue. This one still resists."

There was a moment of silence while they waited for my response.

Resisting? The host was affecting my reasoning? Again, the heat of my anger surprised me.

"I still did not ask to be sent here. You authorized me to come?" I asked, my voice distorted because it came through my teeth.

"Well," the Healer started but is cut off.

"I did. I thought someone of your experience could prove very useful here" the Seeker says proudly. "There is really nothing you can do now but is to except it and move on." Her statement irritates me. But she is right I am here now. It doesnt mean I will except it though. I sigh.

"Am I correctly bound then?"

"Yes" the Healer said. "All eight hundred twenty-seven points are latched securely in the optimum positions."

This mind used more of my faculties than any host before, leaving me only one hundred eighty-one spare attachments. Perhaps the numerous bindings were the reason the emotions were so vivid.

I decided to open my eyes. I felt the need to double-check the Healer's promises and make sure the rest of me worked.  
Light. Bright, painful. I closed my eyes again. The last light I had seen had been filtered through a hundred ocean fathoms. But these eyes had seen brighter and could handle it. I opened them narrowly, keeping my eyelashes feathered over the breach.  
"Would you like me to turn down the lights?"  
"No, Healer. My eyes will adjust."  
"Very good," he said, and I understood that his approval was meant for my casual use of the possessive. Both waited quietly while my eyes slowly widened.

My mind recognized this as an average room in a medical facility. A hospital. The ceiling tiles were white with darker speckles. The lights were rectangular and the same size as the tiles, replacing them at regular intervals. The walls were light green-a calming color, but also the color of sickness. A poor choice, in my quickly formed opinion.

The people facing me were more interesting than the room. The word doctor sounded in my mind as soon as my eyes fastened on the Healer. He wore loose-fitting blue green clothes that left his arms bare. Scrubs. He had extremely dark colored skin almost black and small furry lines of hair above his eyes. His eyes stood out from the darkness of his skin; the silver behind the irises.

His face was generically human to me, but the knowledge in my memory applied the word kind.

An impatient breath pulled my attention to the Seeker. My eyes focused on her. She was very tall, standing out against the Healer. She did draw the eye, glwing in the bright room. She wore white from chin to wrists-a conservative suit with a silk turtleneck underneath. Her hair was light, too. It grew to her chin and was pushed back behind her ears. Her skin was lighter than the Healer's. Olive toned.

The tiny changes in humans' expressions were so minimal they were very hard to read. My memory could name the look on this woman's face, though. The light brows, lifted over the slightly bulging eyes, created a familiar design. Not quite happiness. Grin. Smirk.

"What do we call you?"

"My name is Iridescents Across the Night"

"It is very nice to meet you"

"What type of host am I in?" I asked, looking at the Healer again.

"A male," the Healer admitted. "Full grown to be exact"

"Full grown"

"Yes, they are not as easily to come by as in the immature ones. Most dont request for the adults. The immature are more pilable"

"I'm well versed in all the facts, Healer. You said my host maybe...resisting. Have you dealt with this... resistance before yourself?"

"Only once, myself."

"Tell me the facts of the case." I paused. "Please," I added, feeling a lack of courtesy in my command. The Healer sighed.

The Seeker began tapping her fingers against her arm. A sign of impatience. She did not care to wait for what she wanted.

"This occurred four years ago," the Healer began. "The soul involved had requested an adult male host. The first one to be available was a human who had been living in a pocket of resistance since the early years of the occupation. The human... knew what would happen when he was caught."

"Just as my host did."

"Um, yes." He cleared his throat. "This was only the soul's second life. He came from Blind World."

"Blind World?" I asked, cocking my head to the side reflexively.

"Oh, sorry, you wouldn't know our nicknames. This was one of yours, though, was it not?" He pulled a device from his pocket, a computer, and scanned quickly. "Yes, your last planet. In the eighty-first sector."

"Blind World?" I said again, my voice now disapproving.

"Yes, well, some who have lived there prefer to call it the Singing World." I nodded slowly. I liked that better.

"And some who've never been there call it Planet of the Bats," the Seeker muttered. I turned my eyes to her, feeling them narrow as my mind dredged up the appropriate image of the ugly flying rodent she referred to.

"I assume you are one who has never lived there, Seeker," the Healer said lightly. "We called this soul Racing Song at first-it was a loose translation of his name on... the Singing World. But he soon opted to take the name of his host, Kevin. Though he was slated for a Calling in Musical Performance, given his background, he said he felt more comfortable continuing in the host's previous line of work, which was mechanical.

"These signs were somewhat worrisome to his assigned Comforter, but they were well within normal bounds. Then Kevin started to complain that he was blacking out for periods of time. They brought him back to me, and we ran extensive tests to make sure there was no hidden flaw in the host's brain. During the testing, several Healers noted marked differences in his behavior and personality. When we questioned him about this, he claimed to have no memory of certain statements and actions. We continued to observe him, along with his Comforter, and eventually discovered that the host was periodically taking control of Kevin's body."

"Taking control?" My eyes strained wide. "With the soul unaware? The host took the body back?"

"Sadly, yes. Kevin was not strong enough to suppress this host."

Not strong enough. Would they think me weak as well? I am weak. I let them send me off without my permission. Weaker still, because his living thoughts had existed in my head where there should be nothing but memory? This idea of weakness made me flinch. Made me feel shame.

The Healer continued. "Certain events occurred, and it was decided -"

"What events?" The Healer looked down without answering.

"What events?" I demanded again. "I believe I have a right to know."

The Healer sighed. "You do. Kevin... physically attacked a Healer while not... himself." He winced. "He knocked the Healer unconscious with a blow from his fist and then found a scalpel on her person. We found him insensible. The host had tried to cut the soul out of his body."

It took me a moment before I could speak. Even then, my voice was just a breath. "What happened to them?"

"Luckily, the host was unable to stay conscious long enough to inflict real damage. Kevin was relocated, into an immature host this time. The troublesome host was in poor repair, and it was decided there wasn't much point in saving him. Kevin is seven human years old now and perfectly normal... aside from the fact that he kept the name Kevin, that is. His guardians are taking great care that he is heavily exposed to music, and that is coming along well..." The last was added as if it were good news-news that could somehow cancel out the rest.

"Why?" I cleared my throat so that my voice could gain some volume. "Why have these risks not been shared?"

"Actually," the Seeker broke in, "it is very clearly stated in all recruitment propaganda that assimilating the remaining adult human hosts is much more challenging than assimilating a child. An immature host is highly recommended."

"You obviously ignored the recommendation" I say sternly. She held up her hands in a peacemaking gesture when my body tensed, causing the stiff fabric on the narrow bed to crackle softly.

"I have every confidence that this is well within your abilities to handle. This is just another host. I'm sure you will have full access and control shortly."

By this point in my observations of the Seeker, I was surprised that she'd had the patience to wait for any delay, even my personal acclimatization. I sensed her disappointment in my lack of information, and it brought back some of the unfamiliar feelings of anger.

"Did it not occur to you that you could get the answers you seek by being inserted into this body yourself?" I asked.

She stiffened. "I'm no skipper."

My eyebrows pulled up automatically.

"Another nickname," the Healer explained. "For those who do not complete a life term in their host."

I nodded in understanding. We'd had a name for it on my other worlds. On no world was it smiled upon. So I quit quizzing the Seeker and gave her what I could.

"His name was Jared Howe. He was born in Los Angeles, California. He was in Seattle when the occupation became known to him, and he hid in the wilderness for a few years before finding... Hmmm. Sorry, I'll try that one again later. The body has seen twenty nine years. He drove to Chicago from..." I shook my head. "There were several stages, not all of them alone. The vehicle was stolen. He was searching for a sister named Jessica, whom he had reason to hope was still human. He neither found nor contacted anyone before he was spotted. But..." I struggled, fighting against another blank wall. "I think... I can't be sure... I think he left a note... somewhere."

"So he expected someone would look for him?" the Seeker asked eagerly.

"Yes. He will be... missed. If he does not rendezvous with..." I gritted my teeth. I truly feel guilty for telling her. The wall was black, and I could not tell how thick it was. I battered against it, sweat beading on my forehead. The Seeker and the Healer were very quiet, allowing me to concentrate.  
I tried thinking of something else-the loud, unfamiliar noises the engine of the car had made, the jittery rush of adrenaline every time the lights of another vehicle drew near on the road. I already had this, and nothing fought me. I let the memory carry me along, let it skip over the cold hike through the city under the sheltering darkness of night, let it wind its way to the building where they'd found me.  
Not me, him. My body shuddered.

"Don't overextend -" the Healer began.

The Seeker shushed him. I let my mind dwell on the horror of discovery, the burning hatred of the Seekers that overpowered almost everything else. The hatred was evil; it was pain. I could hardly bear to feel it. But I let it run its course, hoping it would distract the resistance, weaken the defenses.

I watched carefully as he tried to hide and then knew he could not. A note, scratched on a piece of debris with a broken pencil. Shoved hastily under a door. Not just any door.

"The pattern is the fifth door along the fifth hall on the fifth floor. His communication is there."

The Seeker had a small phone in her hand; she murmured rapidly into it.

"The building was supposed to be safe," I continued. "They knew it was condemned. He doesn't know how he was discovered. Did they find Jessica?"

A chill of horror raised goose bumps on my arms. The question was not mine. The question wasn't mine, but it flowed naturally through my lips as if it were. The Seeker did not notice anything a miss.

"The sister? No, they found no other human," she answered, and my body relaxed in response. "This host was spotted entering the building. Since the building was known to be condemned, the citizen who observed her was concerned. He called us, and we watched the building to see if we could catch more than one, and then moved in when that seemed unlikely. Can you find the rendezvous point?"

I tried. Not really.

So many memories, all of them so colorful and sharp. I saw a hundred places I'd never been, heard their names for the first time. A house in Los Angeles, lined with tall fronded trees. A meadow in a forest, with a tent and a fire, outside Winslow, Arizona. A deserted rocky beach in Mexico. A cave, the entrance guarded by sheeting rain, somewhere in Oregon. Tents, huts, rude shelters. As time went on, the names grew less specific. He did not know where he was, nor did he care.

My name is Iridescents Across the Night, yet his memories fit it just as well as my own. Except that my wandering was by choice. These flashes of memory were always tinged with the fear of the hunted. Not wandering, but running.

I began to feel pity. I dont want to focus on the memories. The Seeker didn't need to know where he'd been, only where he was going. I sorted through the pictures that tied to the word Chicago, but none seemed to be anything more than random images. I widened my net. What was outside Chicago? Cold, I thought. It was cold, and there was some worry about that.

Where? I pushed, and the wall came back.

I exhaled in a gust. "Outside the city-in the wilderness... a state park, away from any habitations. It's not somewhere he'd been before, but he knew how to get there."

"How soon?" the Seeker asked.

"Soon." The answer came automatically. "How long have I been here?"

"We let the host heal for nine days, just to be absolutely sure she was recovered," the Healer told me. "Insertion was today, the tenth day."

Ten days. My body felt a staggering wave of relief.

"Too late," I said. "For the rendezvous point... or even the note." I could feel the host's reaction to this-could feel it much too strongly. The host was almost...smug. I allowed the words he thought to be spoken. "She won't be there."

"She?" The Seeker pounced on the pronoun. "Who?"

The black wall slammed down with more force than he'd used before. He was the tiniest fraction of a second too late.  
Again, the face filled my mind. The beautiful face with the tan skin and the light-flecked eyes. The face that stirred a strange, deep pleasure within me while I viewed it so clearly in my mind.

Though the wall slapped into place with an accompanying sensation of vicious resentment, it was not fast enough.

"Melanie," I answered. As quickly as if it had come from me, the thought that was not mine followed the name through my lips. "Melanie is safe."


	3. Chapter 4 Dreamed

**Here is an updated chapter. Sorry if there are any mistakes.**

**After seeing the new trailer i changed it a bit.**

**CHAPTER 4**

Dreamed

It is too dark to be so hot, or maybe too hot to be so dark. One of the two is out of place.

I crouch in the darkness behind the weak protection of a scrubby creosote bush, not that it helps hide me. I am sweating out all the water left in my body. It's been fifteen minutes since the car left the garage. No lights have come on. The arcadia door is open two inches, letting the swamp cooler do its job. I can imagine the feel of the moist, cool air blowing through the screen. I wish it could reach me here.

My stomach gurgles, and I clench my abdominal muscles to stifle the sound. It is quiet enough that the murmur carries.

I am so hungry.

There are no other houses close to this one. I've been watching since the sun was still white hot in the sky, and I don't think there is a dog, either.  
I ease up from my crouch, my calves screaming in protest, but keep hunched at the waist. The way up the wash is smooth sand, a pale pathway in the light of the stars. There are no sounds of cars on the road.

I know what they will realize when they return, the monsters who look like a nice couple in their early fifties. They will know exactly what I am, and the search will begin at once. I need to be far away. I really hope they are going out for a night on the town. I think it's Friday. They keep our habits so perfectly, it's hard to see any difference. Which is how they won in the first place.

The fence around the yard is only waist high. I get over easily, noiselessly. The yard is gravel, though, and I have to walk carefully to keep my weight from shifting it. I make it to the patio slab.

The blinds are open. The starlight is enough to see that the rooms are empty of movement. This couple goes for a spartan look, and I'm grateful. It makes it harder for someone to hide. Of course, that leaves no place for me to hide, either, but if it comes to hiding for me, it's too late anyway.

I ease the screen door open first, and then the glass door. Both glide silently. I place my feet carefully on the tile, but this is just out of habit. No one is waiting for me here.

The cool air feels like heaven.

The kitchen is to my left. I can see the gleam of granite counters. I see a figure standing at the refridgerator now. Great they must have a guest over. All well it will not stop me on my mission.

I watch as it fills a bag up with food, then moves to the sink. After filling a canteen, it sticks its head under the water which is strange. It doesnt notice me until its hand is on the door.

I hear a stupid squeak of fear escapes its mouth the same time I promise to get even for my family. It spins to sprint for the front door. It doesn't even get two steps before my hands grab its shoulders and wrench it back against my body. Too small to be a man.

"One sound and you die," I threaten gruffly. I hold a thin, sharp blade, pushing into the skin under their jaw. The voice proves me right.

"Do it," she spit through her teeth. "Just do it. I don't want to be a filthy parasite!"

"Clever," I mutter to myself. It must be trying to trick me or something. "Must be a Seeker. And that means a trap. How did they know?" The steel disappears from her throat, only to be replaced by my hand as hard as iron.

She can barely breathe under my grip.

"Where are the rest of them?" I demand, squeezing.

"It's just me!" she rasps.

She throws her elbow into my gut-it must hurt her rather than me. The parasites dont have a need to build themselves up. they are all just soft. I don't even suck in a breath at her blow. Desperate, she jabs her heel into my instep. This catches me off guard, and I wobble. She wrenches away, but I grab hold of her bag, yanking her back into my body. My hand clamps down on her throat again.

"Feisty for a peace-loving body snatcher, aren't you?"

She twists and claw, trying to break my hold. Her nails catch my arm, but this just makes me tighten my hold on her throat.

"I will kill you, you worthless body thief. I'm not bluffing."

"Do it, then!"

I let go of her arm and grabs her hair. My hand on her throat eases up, and then my fingers fumble on the back of her neck, her skin feel soft and warm under them.

"Impossible," I breathe.

I spin her around suddenly. I pull out my flash light. There is a click, and light shines her left eye. She gasps and automatically try to twist away from it. My hand tightens in her hair. The light flickers to her right eye. Hazel. Just hazel.

"I can't believe it," whispers. "You're still human." She stares wide eyed at me.

My hands grab her face from both sides, and before she can pull free, my lips come down hard on hers.

She freezes for a moment then pushes me away swinging her head into mind. I stumble backwards as she takes off.

"Wait!" I yell running after her. Great I probably just freaked out the only other human being left on earth. Stupid, stupid. I can't lose her now. Not after i just found her.

I can hear her breathing. I am getting closer. "I'm not one of them!" She ignores me and continues to run.

"Listen to me!" I'm still yelling at full volume. "Look! I'll prove it. Just stop and look at me!" I am going to either get her to stop or wake up the whole neighborhood.

"I didn't think there was anyone left! Please, I need to talk to you!"

She pivots off the wash and flit through the mesquites. Man this girl can run.

"I'm sorry I kissed you! That was stupid! I've just been alone so long!" Now i sound crazy _and_ desperate.

"Shut up!" she doesnt say it loudly, but I can still hear. She runs faster now.

There's a low grunt to my breathing as I speed up, too.

I grab her shoulders and she goes down. I can hear her gasp.

"Wait. A. Minute," I huff.

I shift my weight and roll her over. I straddle her chest, trapping her arms under my legs. She growls and tries to squirm out from under me.

"Look, look, look!" I say. I pull my flashlight from my hip pocket and twists the top. A beam of light shoots out the end.

I turn the flashlight on my face. I can't help but grin.

She looks all around my face then her eyes stop on my eyes. I bounce the light between left and right.

"See? See? I'm just like you."

"Let me see your neck." suspicion is thick in her voice. She must have been tricked before.

My lips twist. "Well... That won't exactly help anything. Aren't the eyes enough? You know I'm not one of them."

"Why won't you show me your neck?"

"Because I have a scar there," I admit.

She tries to squirm out from under me again, and my hand pins her shoulder.

"It's self-inflicted," I explain. "I think I did a pretty good job, though it hurt like hell. I don't have all that pretty hair to cover my neck. The scar helps me blend in."

"Get off me."

I hesitate, then get to my feet in one easy move, not needing to use my hands. I hold one out, palm up, to her.

"Please don't run away. And, um, I'd rather you didn't kick me again, either."

She doesn't move.

"Who are you?" she whispers.

I smile wide. "My name is Jared Howe. I haven't spoken to another human being in more than two years, so I'm sure I must seem... a little crazy to you"

"Obviously you haven't been kissed in a while" she says sarcastically. My smile grows.

"Please, forgive that and tell me your name, anyway"

"Melanie," she whispers.

"Melanie," I repeat. "I can't tell you how delighted I am to meet you"

She grips her bag tightly, keeping her eyes on me. I reach my hand down toward her slowly.

And she takes it.

I help her to her feet and don't release her hand when she's up.

"What now?" she asks guardedly.

"Well, we can't stay here for long. Will you come back with me to the house? I left my bag. You beat me to the fridge"

She shakes her head.

She seems so brittle, so close to breaking.

"Will you wait for me here, then?" I ask in a gentle voice. "I'll be very quick. Let me get us some more food."

"Us?"

"Do you really think I'm going to let you disappear? I'll follow you even if you tell me not to."

"I..." she stops "I don't have time. I have so far to go and... Jamie is waiting." Of course she is with somebody.

"You're not alone," I realize. My expression must show uncertainty for the first time.

"My brother. He's just nine, and he's so frightened when I'm away. It will take me half the night to get back to him. He won't know if I've been caught. He's so hungry. " As if to make her point, her stomach growls loudly.

My smile is back, brighter than before. Yes she isnt taken. "Will it help if I give you a ride?"

"A ride?" she echoes.

"I'll make you a deal. You wait here while I gather more food, and I'll take you anywhere you want to go in my jeep. It's faster than running-even faster than you running."

"You have a car?"

"Of course. Do you think I walked out here?"

Her forehead furrows. Oh she must have walked out here.

"We'll be back to your brother in no time," I promise. "Don't move from this spot, okay?"

She nods.

"And eat something, please. I don't want your stomach to give us away." I grin, and my eyes crinkle up, fanning lines out of the corners.

I'm still holding her hand. I let go slowly, my eyes not leaving hers. I take a step backward, then pause.

"Please don't kick me," I plead, leaning forward and grabbing her chin. I kiss her again, and this time she lets me. Her hands reach for me instinctively. She touches the warm skin of my cheek, the rough hair on my neck. Her fingers skim over a line of puckered skin, a raised ridge right beneath the hairline.

She screams.

I woke up covered in sweat. Even before I was all the way awake, my fingers were on the back of my neck, tracing the short line left from the insertion. I could barely detect the faint pink blemish with my fingertips. The medicines the Healer had used had done their job.

I flicked on the light beside my bed, waiting for my breathing to slow, veins full of adrenaline from the realistic dream.

A new dream, but in essence so much the same as the many others that had plagued me in the past months.

No, not a dream. Surely a memory.

I could still feel the heat of Melanie's lips on mine. My hands reached out without my permission, searching across the rumpled sheet, looking for something they did not find. My heart ached when they gave up, falling to the bed limp and empty.

I blinked away the unwelcome moisture in my eyes. I didn't know how much more of this I could stand. How did anyone survive this world, with these bodies whose memories wouldn't stay in the past where they should? With these emotions that were so strong I couldn't tell what I felt anymore?

I was going to be exhausted tomorrow, but I felt so far from sleep that I knew it would be hours before I could relax. I might as well do my "duty" and get it over with. Maybe it would help me take my mind off things I'd rather not think about.

I rolled off the bed and stumbled to the computer on the otherwise empty desk. It took a few seconds for the screen to glow to life, and another few seconds to open my mail program. It wasn't hard to find the Seeker's address; I only had four contacts: the Seeker, the Healer, my new employer, and his wife, my Comforter.

There was another human with my host, Jared Howe.

I typed, not bothering with a greeting.

His name is Jamie Stryder; he is Melanie Stryders brother.

For a panicked moment, I wondered at his control. All this time, and I'd never even guessed at the boy's existence-not because he didn't matter to him, but because he protected him more fiercely than other secrets I'd unraveled. Did he have more secrets this big, this important? So sacred that he kept them even from my dreams? Was he that strong? My fingers trembled as I keyed the rest of the information.

I think he's a young adolescent now. Perhaps thirteen. They were living in a temporary camp, and I believe it was north of the town of Cave Creek, in Arizona. That was several years ago, though. As always, I'll tell you if I get anything more.

I sent it off. As soon as it was gone, terror washed through me.

_Not Jamie!_

His voice in my head was as clear as my own spoken aloud. I shuddered in horror. Even as I struggled with the fear of what was happening, I was gripped with the insane desire to e-mail the Seeker again and apologize for sending her my crazy dreams. To tell her I was half asleep and to pay no attention to the silly message I'd sent. The desire was not my own.

I shut off the computer.

_I hate you,_ the voice snarled in my head.

"I know," I snapped. The sound of my voice, answering him aloud, made me shudder again.

He hadn't spoken to me since the first moments I'd been here. There was no doubt that he was getting stronger. Just like the dreams.

And there was no question about it; I was going to have to visit my Comforter tomorrow. She already knows the feelings I have to my being sent here.

I went back to bed, put a pillow over my face, and tried to think of nothing at all.


	4. Chapter 5 Uncomforted

**Here is another chapter of Jareds struggles.**

**I do not own the Host once again**

**CHAPTER 5**

Uncomforted

"Hello Iridescents Across the Night! Won't you take a seat and make yourself at home?"

I hesitated on the threshold of the Comforter's office, one foot in and one foot out.

She smiled, just a tiny movement at the corners of her mouth. It was much easier to read facial expressions now; the little muscle twitches and shifts had become familiar through months of exposure. I could see that the Comforter found my reluctance a bit amusing.

At the same time, I could sense her frustration that I was still uneasy coming to her.

With a quiet sigh of resignation, I walked into the small brightly colored room and took my usual seat-the puffy red one, the one farthest from where she sat.

Her lips pursed. To avoid her gaze, I stared through the open windows at the clouds scuttling past the sun. The faint tang of ocean brine blew softly through the room.

"So, Iridescents. It's been a small amount of time since you've come to see me." I met her eyes guiltily.

"I did leave a message about that last appointment. I had a mission that requested some of my time..."

"Yes, I know." She smiled the tiny smile again. "I got your message."

She was attractive for an older woman, as humans went. She'd let her hair stay a natural gray-it was soft, tending toward white rather than silver, and she wore it long, pulled back in a loose ponytail. Her eyes were an interesting green color I'd never seen on anyone else.

"I'm sorry," I said, since she seemed to be waiting for a response.

"That's all right. I understand. It's difficult for you to come here. You wish so much that it wasn't necessary. It's never been necessary for you before. This frightens you."

I stared down at the wooden floor. "Yes, Comforter."

"I know I've asked you to call me Kathy."

"Yes... Kathy."

She laughed lightly. "You are not at ease with human names yet, are you, Iridescents Across the Night?"

"No. To be honest, it seems... like a surrender."

I looked up to see her nod slowly. "Well, I can understand why you, especially, would feel that way."

I swallowed loudly when she said that, and stared again at the floor.

"Let's talk about something easier for a moment," Kathy suggested. "Do you continue to enjoy your Calling?"

"No actually." This wasn't easier. "I do not think I have what it takes to be a Seeker, to be honest"

"I understand. That is a job only a few can do successfully."

"I hear good things about you from Curt. He says your presence is among the most requested at the university."

My cheeks warmed a bit at this praise. "That's nice to hear. How is your partner?"

"Curt is wonderful, thank you. Our hosts are in excellent shape for their ages. We have many years ahead of us, I think."

I was curious if she would stay on this world, if she would move to another human host when the time came, or if she would leave. But I didn't want to ask any questions that might move us into the more difficult areas of discussion.

"I enjoy teaching with him," I said instead. "It's somewhat related to my Calling with the See Weeds, so that makes it easier than something unfamiliar. I'm indebted to Curt for requesting me."

"They're lucky to have you." Kathy smiled warmly. "Do you know how rare it is for a Professor of History to have experienced even two planets in the curriculum? Yet you've lived a term on almost all of them. And the Origin, to boot! There isn't a school on this planet that wouldn't love to steal you away from us. Curt plots ways to keep you busy so you have no time to consider moving."

"I know my host was more of a mechanical guy so i do find myself enjoying things like that too"

"Maybe if the Seeker doesnt work out you can do that instead. I'm sure they would love to have you at the university"

"I was thinking of the same thing"

Kathy smiled and then took a deep breath, her smile fading. "I know it really hasnt been that long since you've been to see me but I was wondering if your problems were resolving themselves. But then it occurred to me that perhaps the reason for your absence was that they were getting worse. Are you still having negative thoughts about the souls?"

I stared down at my hands and said nothing.

My hands were light brown-a tan that never faded whether I spent time in the sun or not. My nails were chewed short although they still had dirt under them. And my fingers were so long and thick-the added length of fingernails made them look strange. Even for a human.

She cleared her throat after a minute. "I'm guessing my intuition was right."

"Kathy." I said her name slowly. Stalling. "Why did you keep your human name? Did it make you feel... more at one? With your host, I mean?" I would have liked to know about Curt's choice as well, but it was such a personal question. It would have been wrong to ask anyone besides Curt for the answer, even his partner. I worried that I'd already been too impolite, but she laughed.

"Heavens, no, Iridescents. Haven't I told you this? Hmm. Maybe not, since it's not my job to talk, but to listen. Most of the souls I speak with don't need as much encouragement as you do. Did you know I came to Earth in one of the very first placements, before the humans had any idea we were here?" I shook my heand and she continued "I had human neighbors on both sides. Curt and I had to pretend to be our hosts for several years. Even after we'd settled the immediate area, you never knew when a human might be near. So Kathy just became who I was. Besides, the translation of my former name was fourteen words long and did not shorten prettily." She grinned. The sunlight slanting through the window caught her eyes and sent their silver green reflection dancing on the wall. For a moment, the emerald irises glittered.

I'd had no idea that this soft, cozy woman had been a part of the front line. It took me a minute to process that. I stared at her, surprised and suddenly more respectful and fearful. I'd never taken Comforters very seriously-never had a need before now. She understood strength. She could probably be the one to figure out my deep hatred for my own race.

"Did it bother you?" I asked. "Pretending to be one of them?"

"No, not really. You see, this host was a lot to get used to-there was so much that was new. Sensory overload. Following the set pattern was quite as much as I could handle at first."

"And Curt... You chose to stay with your host's spouse? After it was over?"

This question was more pointed, and Kathy grasped that at once. She shifted in her seat, pulling her legs up and folding them under her. She gazed thoughtfully at a spot just over my head as she answered.

"Yes, I chose Curt-and he chose me. At first, of course, it was random chance, an assignment. We bonded, naturally, from spending so much time together, sharing the danger of our mission. As the university's president, Curt had many contacts, you see. Our house was an insertion facility. We would entertain often. Humans would come through our door and our kind would leave. It all had to be very quick and quiet-you know the violence these hosts are prone to. We lived every day with the knowledge that we could meet a final end at any moment. There was constant excitement and frequent fear. All very good reasons why Curt and I might have formed an attachment and decided to stay together when secrecy was no longer necessary. And I could lie to you, assuage your fears, by telling you that these were the reasons. But..." She shook her head and then seemed to settle deeper into her chair, her eyes boring into me. "In so many millennia, the humans never did figure love out. How much is physical, how much in the mind? How much accident and how much fate? Why did perfect matches crumble and impossible couples thrive? I don't know the answers any better than they did. Love simply is where it is. My host loved Curt's host, and that love did not die when the ownership of the minds changed."

She watched me carefully, reacting with a slight frown when I slumped in my seat.

"Jared still grieves for Melanie," she stated. I felt my head nod without willing the action.

"You grieve for her." I closed my eyes.

"The dreams continue?"

"Every night," I mumbled.

"Tell me about them." Her voice was soft, persuasive.

"I don't like to think about them."

"I know. Try. It might help."

"How? How will it help to tell you that I see her face every time I close my eyes? That I wake up and cry when she's not there? That the memories are so strong I can't separate his from mine anymore?"

I stopped abruptly, clenching my teeth. I've said too much.

Kathy pulled a white handkerchief from her pocket and offered it to me. When I didn't move, she got up, walked over to me, and dropped it in my lap. She sat on the arm of my chair and waited.

I know it is uncommon for men to cry or to use those little peices of fabric so I just wipe my nose on my sleeve. She takes the handkerchief back.

"I hate this."

"Everybody cries their first year. These emotions are so impossible. We're all children for a bit, whether we intended that or not. I used to tear up every time I saw a pretty sunset. The taste of peanut butter would sometimes do that, too." She patted the top of my head, then trailed her fingers gently through the hair at the nape of my neck.

"Every time I see you it's longer. Why do you keep it that way?"

"It bothers him. He likes it short."

She didn't gasp, as I half expected she would. Kathy was good at her job. Her response was only a second late and only slightly incoherent.

"You... He... he's still that...present? "

The appalling truth tumbled from my lips. "When he wants to be. He hates that i work for _them_. He's more dormant while I'm working. But he's there, all right. Sometimes I feel like he's as present as I am." My voice was only a whisper by the time I was done.

"Iridescents Across the Night!" Kathy exclaimed, horrified. "Why didn't you tell me it was that bad? How long has it been this way?"

"It's getting worse. Instead of fading, he seems to be growing stronger. It's not as bad as the Healer's case yet-we spoke of Kevin, do you remember? He hasn't taken control." The pitch of my voice climbed.

"Of course he won't," she assured me. "Of course not. But if you're this... unhappy, you should have told me earlier. We need to get you to a Healer."

It took me a moment, emotionally distracted as I was, to understand.

"A Healer? You want me to skip?"

"No one would think badly of that choice, Iridescents. It's understood, if a host is defective -"

"Defective? He's not defective. I hate myself for taking his life away!" My head fell into my hands as the humiliation washed through me. Fresh tears welled in my eyes.

Kathy's arm settled around my shoulders. I was struggling so hard to control my wild emotions that I harshly pulled away; it felt too intimate.

It bothered Jared, too. He didn't like being hugged by an alien.

Of course Jared was very much present in this moment, and unbearably smug as I finally admitted to his power. He also had a different emotion I did not understand. Understanding maybe? No.

I tried to calm myself so that I would be able to put him in his place. You are in my thought was faint but intelligible. How much worse it was getting; he was strong enough to speak to me now whenever he wished. It was as bad as that first minute of consciousness.

Go away. It's my place now. _Never_.

"Iridescents, dear, no. You cannot talk like that of yourself."

"Its true though. We came here and murdered innocent beings. Taking away everything they know and loved..."

"Listen to me. We did not take anything from them. They were weak and naive, not appreciating the world that they had. You are strong. Surprisingly strong. Our kind are always so much the same, but you exceed the norm. You're so brave it astonishes me. Your past lives are a testament to that."

My past lives maybe, but this life? Where was my strength now?

"But humans are more individualized than we are," Kathy went on. "There's quite a range, and some of them are much stronger than others. I truly believe that if anyone else had been put into this host, Jared would have crushed them in days. Maybe it's an accident, maybe it's fate, but it appears to me that the strongest of our kind is being hosted by the strongest of theirs."

"Doesn't say much for our kind, does it? We're just stronger murderers"

She heard the implication behind my words. "He's not winning, you are this handsome person beside me. He's just a shadow in the corner of your mind."

"He speaks to me, Kathy. He still thinks his own thoughts. He still keeps his secrets."

"But he doesn't speak for you, does he? I doubt I would be able to say as much in your place."

I didn't respond. I was feeling too miserable.

"I think you should consider reimplantation."

"Kathy, you just said that he would crush a different soul. I don't know if I believe that-you're probably just trying to do your job and comfort me. But if he is so strong, it wouldn't be fair to hand him off to someone else because I can't subdue him. Who would you choose to take him on?"

"I didn't say that to comfort you, dear."

"Then what -"

"I don't think this host would be considered for reuse."

"Oh!"

A shiver of horror jolted down my spine. And I wasn't the only one who was staggered by the idea.

I was immediately repulsed. I was no quitter. If I was to give up then I would just be throwing his life away and taking someones elses. Even though I feel bad for what I am, he doesnt deserve to die. I am the one who should be taken out and let die. All the souls should.

They think they make whatever we took better, more peaceful and beautiful. That the humans were brutish and ungovernable. They had killed one another so frequently that murder had been an accepted part of life. And the various tortures they'd devised over the few millennia they'd lasted. But were we any better? What of the host that did survive along with the soul wasnt that the worst torture in itself? To be trapped in your own head, watching. Yes the majority of the population no longer fought with one another but families were no longer linked together, just strangers in each others bodies.

_Your kind murder an entire species and then pat yourselves on the back._

My hands balled up into fists.

I didnt choose to be what I am. I didnt choose to come here. To be put in your body, I reminded him.

_Go ahead and switch bodies. Make my murder official. You're just like the rest of them._

Dont you think i know what I have done to you. What my species has done. I am not proud of that.

_I'd never thought one of you had a conscience. Then again you are a Seeker and they lie for a living. Just switch bodies and let me die._

If that is what you really want.

I was bluffing, but so was Jared.

Oh, he thought he wanted to die. He'd sliced his throat and thrown himself out a window, after all. But that was in a moment of panic and defeat. To consider it calmly from a comfortable chair was something else altogether. I could feel the adrenaline-adrenaline called into being by him fear-shoot through my limbs as I contemplated switching to a more pliant body.

It would be nice to be alone again. To have my mind to myself. This world was very pleasant in so many novel ways, and it would be wonderful to be able to appreciate it without the distractions of an angry, displaced nonentity who should have had better sense than to linger unwanted this way.  
Jared squirmed, figuratively, in the recesses of my head as I tried to consider it rationally. Maybe I should give up...

The words themselves made me flinch. I, Iridescents Across the Night, give up? Quit? Admit failure and try again with a weak, spineless host who wouldn't give me any trouble?  
I shook my head. I could barely stand to think of it.

And... this was my body. I was used to the feel of it. And I liked the way the muscles moved over the bones, the bend of the joints and the pull of the tendons. I knew the reflection in the mirror. The sun-browned skin, the high, sharp bones of my face, the long slightly curled hair, the sienna of my eyes-this was me.

_It will never be truly you._

I wanted myself. I wouldn't let what was mine, for now, be destroyed.


	5. Chapter 6 Followed

** Updated chapter**

**I do not own the Host**

**CHAPTER 6**

Followed

The light was finally fading outside the windows. The day, hot for March, had lingered on and on, as if reluctant to end and set me free.

I sniffled and twisted the hem of my shirt knot. "Kathy, you must have other obligations. Curt will be wondering where you are."

"He'll understand."

"I can't stay here forever. And we're no closer to an answer. Men here arent used to talking about their feelings"

"Quick fixes aren't my specialty. You are decided against a new host -"

"Yes."

"So dealing with this will probably take some time."

I clenched my teeth in frustration. I dont want to do this anymore.

"And it will go faster and more smoothly if you have some help."

"I'll be better with making my appointments, I promise."

"That's not exactly what I mean, though I hope you will."

"You mean help... other than you?" I cringed at the thought of having to relive today's misery with a stranger. "I'm sure you're just as qualified as any Comforter-more so."

"I didn't mean another Comforter." She shifted her weight in the chair and stretched stiffly. "How many friends do you have, Iridescents?"

"You mean people at work? I see a few other teachers almost every day. There are several students I speak to in the halls..."

"Outside of work?" I stared at her blankly.

"Human hosts need interaction. You're not used to solitude, dear. You shared an entire planet's thoughts -"

"We didn't go out much." My attempt at humor fell flat.

She smiled slightly and went on. "You're struggling so hard with your problem that it's all you can concentrate on. Maybe one answer is to not concentrate quite so hard. You said Jared grows bored during your working hours... that he is more dormant. Perhaps if you developed some peer relationships, those would bore him also."

I pursed my lips thoughtfully. Jared, sluggish from the long day of attempted comfort, did seem rather unenthused by the idea.

Kathy nodded. "Get involved with life rather than with him."

"That makes sense."

"And then there are the physical drives these bodies have. I've never seen or heard of their equal. One of the most difficult things we of the first wave had to conquer was the mating instinct. Believe me, the humans noticed when you didn't." She grinned and rolled her eyes at some memory. When I didn't react as she'd expected, she sighed and crossed her arms impatiently. "Oh, come now, Iridescents. You must have noticed."

"Well, of course," I mumbled. Jared stirred restlessly. "Obviously. I've told you about the dreams..."

"No, I didn't mean just memories. Haven't you come across anyone that your body has responded to in the present-on strictly a chemical level?"

I thought her question through carefully. "I don't think so. Not so I've noticed."

"Trust me," Kathy said dryly. "You'd notice." She shook her head. "Perhaps you should open your eyes and look around for that specifically. It might do you a lot of good. Curt tells me it is mostly females who request your class "

My body recoiled from the thought. I registered Jared's disgust, mirrored by my own.

Kathy read my expression. "Don't let him control how you interact with your kind, Iridescents. Don't let him control you."

My nostrils flared. I waited a moment to answer, reining in the anger that I'd never quite gotten used to.

"I don't know if i do want to interact"

Kathy raised an eyebrow.

The anger tightened my throat. "You did not look too far afield for your current partner. Was that choice controlled?"

She ignored my anger and considered the question thoughtfully.

"Perhaps," she finally said. "It's hard to know. But you've made your point." She picked at a string in the hem of her shirt, and then, as if realizing that she was avoiding my gaze, folded her hands resolutely and squared her shoulders. "Who knows how much comes from any given host on any given planet? As I said before, I think time is probably your answer. Whether he grows apathetic and silent gradually, allowing you to make another choice besides this Melanie, or... well, the Seekers are very good. They're already looking for her, and maybe you'll remember something that helps."

I didn't move as her meaning sank in. She didn't seem to notice that I was frozen in place.

"Perhaps they'll find Jared's love, and then you can be together. If her feelings are as fervent as his, the new soul will probably be amenable."

"No!" I wasn't sure who had shouted. It could have been me. I was full of horror, too.

I was on my feet, shaking. The tears that came so easily were, for once, absent, and my hands trembled in tight fists.

"Iridescents?"

But I turned and ran for the door, fighting the words that could not come out of my mouth. Words that could not be my words. Words that made no sense unless they were his, but they felt like mine. They couldn't be mine. They couldn't be spoken.

That's killing her! That's making her cease to be! I don't want someone else. I want Melanie, not a stranger in her body! The body means nothing without her. I would do anything to keep them from her. To keep her safe.

I heard Kathy calling my name behind me as I ran into the road.

I didn't live far from the Comforter's office, but the darkness in the street disoriented me. I'd gone two blocks before I realized I was running in the wrong direction.

I slowed to a walk, turning north so that I could loop around without passing Kathy's office again.

My walk was only slightly slower than a run. I heard my feet hitting the sidewalk too quickly, as though they were trying to match the tempo of a dance song. Slap, slap, slap against the concrete. No, it wasn't like a drumbeat, it was too angry. Like violence. Slap, slap, slap. Someone hitting someone else. I shuddered away from the horrible image.

I could see the lamp on over my apartment door. It hadn't taken me long to cover the distance. I didn't cross the road, though.

I felt sick. I remembered what it felt like to vomit, though I never had. The cold wetness dewed on my forehead, the hollow sound rang in my ears. I was pretty sure I was about to have that experience for my own.

There was a bank of grass beside the walk. Around a streetlamp there was a well-trimmed hedge. I had no time to look for a better place. I stumbled to the light and caught the post to hold myself up. The nausea was making me dizzy.

Yes, I was definitely going to experience throwing up.

"Iridescents Across the Night, is that you? Iridescents, are you ill?"

The vaguely familiar voice was impossible to concentrate on. But it made things worse, knowing I had an audience as I leaned my face close to the bush and violently choked up my most recent meal.

"Who's your Healer here?" the voice asked. It sounded far away through the buzzing in my ears. A hand touched my arched back. "Do you need an ambulance?"

I coughed twice and shook my head. I was sure it was over; my stomach was empty.

"I'm not ill," I said I as pulled myself upright using the lamppost for support. I looked over to see who was watching my moment of disgrace.

The Seeker from Chicago had her cell phone in her hand, trying to decide which authority to call. I took one good look at her and bent over the leaves again. Empty stomach or no, she was the last person I needed to see right now.  
But, as my stomach heaved uselessly, I realized that there would be a reason for her presence.

Oh, no! Oh, no no no no no no!

"Why?" I gasped, panic and sickness stealing the volume from my voice. "Why are you here? What's happened?" The Comforter's very uncomforting words pounded in my head.

I stared at the hands gripping the collar of the Seeker's white suit for two seconds before I realized they were mine.

"Stop!" she said, and there was outrage on her face. Her voice rattled.

I was shaking her.

My hands jerked open and landed against my face. "Excuse me!" I huffed. "I'm sorry. I don't know what I was doing."

The Seeker scowled at me and smoothed the front of her outfit. "You're not well, and I suppose I startled you."

"I wasn't expecting to see you," I whispered. "Why are you here?"

"Let's get you to a Healing facility before we speak. If you have a flu, you should get it healed. There's no point in letting it wear your body down."

"I don't have a flu. I'm not ill."

"Did you eat bad food? You must report where you got it."

Her prying was very annoying. "I did not eat bad food, either. I'm healthy."

"Why don't you have a Healer check? A quick scan-you shouldn't neglect your host. That's irresponsible. Especially when health care is so easy and effective."

I took a deep breath and resisted the urge to shake her again. She was a full head shorter than I was. It was a fight I would win. A fight? I turned away from her and walked swiftly toward my home. I was dangerously emotional. I needed to calm down before I did something inexcusable.

"Iridescents? Wait! The Healer -"

"I need no Healer," I said without turning. "That was just... an emotional imbalance. I'm fine now."

The Seeker didn't answer. I wondered what she made of my response. I could hear her shoes-high heels-tapping after me, so I left the door open, knowing she would follow me in. I went to the sink and filled a glass with water. She waited silently while I rinsed my mouth and spat. When I was through, I leaned against the counter, staring into the basin.

She was soon bored.

It had long been clear to me that the mild spat I'd overheard the first day I woke in the Healing facility was the Seeker's fault. The Seeker was the most confrontational soul I'd come across in nine lives. My first Healer, Fords Deep Waters, had been calm, kind, and wise, even for a soul. Yet he had not been able to help reacting to her. That made me feel better about my own response.

I turned around to face her. She was on my small couch, nestled in comfortably as if for a long visit. Her expression was self-satisfied, the bulging eyes amused. I controlled the desire to scowl.

"Why are you here?" I asked again. My voice was a monotone. Restrained. I would not lose control again in front of this woman.

"It's been a while since I heard anything from you, so I thought I would check in personally. We've still made no headway in your case."

And you never will.

My hands clamped down on the edge of the counter behind me, but I kept the wild relief from my voice.

"That seems... overzealous. Besides, I sent you a message last night."

Her eyebrows came together in that way she had, a way that made her look angry and annoyed at the same time, as if you, not she, were responsible for her anger. She pulled out her palm computer and touched the screen a few times.

"Oh," she said stiffly. "I haven't checked my mail today."

She was quiet as she scanned through what I had written.

"I sent it very early in the morning," I said. "I was half asleep at the time. I'm not sure how much of what I wrote was memory or dream, or sleep-typing, maybe."

I went along with the words-Jared's words-as they flowed easily from my mouth; I even added my own lighthearted laugh at the end. It was dishonest of me. Shameful behavior. But I would not let the Seeker know that I was weaker than my host.  
For once, Jared was not smug at having bested me. He was too relieved, too grateful that I had not, for my own petty reasons, given him away.

"Interesting," the Seeker murmured. "Another one on the loose." She shook her head. "Peace continues to elude us." She did not seem dismayed by the idea of a fragile peace-rather, it seemed to please her.

I bit my lip hard. Jared wanted so badly to make another denial, to claim the boy was just part of a dream.

Don't be stupid, I told her. That would be so obvious. It said much for the repellent nature of the Seeker that she could put Jared and me on the same side of an argument.

_I hate her_. Jared's whisper was sharp, painful like a cut.

I know, I know. I wished I could deny that I felt... similarly. Hate was an unforgivable emotion. But the Seeker was... very difficult to like. Impossible.

The Seeker interrupted my internal conversation. "So, other than the new location to review, you have no more help for me on the road maps?"

I felt my body react to her critical tone. "I never said they were lines on a road map. That's your assumption. And no, I have nothing else."

She clicked her tongue quickly three times. "But you said they were directions."

"That's what I think they are. I'm not getting anything more."

"Why not? Haven't you subdued the human yet?" She laughed loudly. Laughing at me.

I turned my back to her and concentrated on calming myself. I tried to pretend that she wasn't there. That I was all alone in my austere kitchen, staring out the window into the little patch of night sky, at the three bright stars I could see through it.

Well, as alone as I ever was.

While I stared at the tiny points of light in the blackness, the lines that I'd seen over and over again-in my dreams and in my broken memories, cropping up at strange, unrelated moments-flashed through my head.

The first: a slow, rough curve, then a sharp turn north, another sharp turn back the other way, twisting back to the north for a longer stretch, and then the abrupt southern decline that flattened out into another shallow curve.

The second: a ragged zigzag, four tight switchbacks, the fifth Incomprehensible, seemingly meaningless. But I knew this was important to Melanie. So they became important to him.

I knew they meant something.

That they led somewhere.

And at that moment, with the echo of the Seeker's laugh still hanging in the air, I suddenly realized why they were so important.  
They led back to Melanie, of course. Back to both of them, Melanie and Jamie. Where else? What other location could possibly hold any meaning for her? Only now I saw that it was not back, because none of them had ever followed these lines before. Lines that had been as much of a mystery to him as they were to me, until...

The wall was slow to block me. He was distracted, paying more attention to the Seeker than I was. He fluttered in my head at a sound behind me, and that was the first I was aware of the Seeker's approach.

The Seeker sighed. "I expected more of you. Your track record seemed so promising."

I faced the Seeker now, curious to judge the impact of my words. She was impassive, staring at the white nothingness of the bare wall across the room.

"I'm sorry I can't help you further." I said the words firmly, trying to make the dismissal clear. I was ready to have my house to myself

_Ourselves_, Jared inserted spitefully. I sighed. He was so full of himself now. "You really shouldn't have troubled yourself to come so far."

"It's the job," the Seeker said, shrugging. "You're my only assignment. Until I find the rest of them, I may as well stick close to you and hope I get lucky." she says stepping closer, a smirk on her face. At the last word she touches my chest with her index finger.

_I cant believe she is hitting on you right now_, Jared says in disbelief and disgust. I have an urge to roll my eyes but resist.

What are you taking about?, I ask in confusion.

"Iridescents do try to keep in more contact with me from now on" the Seeker says in a gentler tone as she exits.

_Told ya_, he adds.

Whatever it is not going to happen.

_Better not. She is certifiably nuts._


	6. Chapter 7 Confronted

**Here we go again, on with another chapter.**

**I do not own the Host**

**Chapter 7**

Confronted

The Seeker did keep her promise of sticking close. I was informed that she would be transferring from Chicago to here, at my department. For once Jared and I felt the same discontent with the news.

I only choose to be a Seeker, not because of a Calling, but to help me find Melanie on my own. At first Jared thought I was no better than a Seeker, wanting

to find her so they could implant her with a soul. That is not even close to my intentions. I want to find and go to her, then... Well i dont know what will

happen after that. I guess I would like to know she is safe and hopefully still human.

I try to assist Curt at the university as much as I can. And I hate to admit it but Kathy was right. Each time I was invited to be a guest lecturer his class size

would double from the regular attendance. It is most containing women of all ages. Even though he wont admit it, I think it makes Jared's ego go up a little.

That even to an alien race they find him attractive.

Still teaching is the closest thing I have had to a Calling. It is always a needed break from work.

Speaking of work, taking Kathy's advice about paying more attention, I've come to realize I am a horrible Seeker. I have been here for about six months and

havent had one lead. Or should i say followed up on a lead. I only hope no one else notices it.

That hope is shattered one day. I happened upon a hushed conversation between two Seekers. Jared actually noticed it before i did.

"I think something isnt right with him" a voice says in the distance.

"Maybe it just isnt his Calling" the other answers. I try to look like I'm doing something.

"No it is something more. He isnt like any soul I know"

"His host was probably antisocial and he picked up on it"

"No that is not it either. He has had a dozen leads since he got here but never follows through on them. He is always preoccupied with something else"

_Not so discreet after all_, Jared comments.

Like you were going into an abandoned building, I say harshly.

_You didnt have to go below the belt, _he snaps. I shush him, wanting to listen more.

"What you think he is hiding something?"

"Yes I do. If he is to be a Seeker his main concern should be to find any of the human rebels. It is what keeps our species going."

"Suspision isnt a typical characteristic"

_It seems like you're not the only one not acting soul like_

What do you mean?, I ask.

_This guy obvious reeks of suspision. I thought you souls were supposed to see the good in everyone._

We do. Well we are supposed to anyway.

"I know neither is anger, or fear. I can see it in his eyes"

"Hello there Iridescents Across the Night" a shrill voice says behind me. I turn to see my nightmare just beginning.

"Oh...um...hello Seeker. I heard you were transferring" I answer as polietly as i can. She has on a rather large smile. Highly unusual for her.

_Oh great, your stalker is back._

"I thought it would be easier to keep an eye on you" she says sitting at the edge of my desk. I raise an eyebrow automatically.

_See what I mean._

"If you have any new information that is" she corrects herself. i nod in understanding.

"Right yes. Sorry I dont have any for you at this moment" i tell her turning back to my papers.

_Cant she take a hint._

Apparently not, I say feeling his discomfort of her so close.

"Whenever you do" she says laying a hand on my desk. I look up her and give her a sideways smile then go back to my computer. She doesnt budge.

_Make an excuse to get rid of her_

Like?

_Um...dont you have to go to the university?_

What you actually want to hear me teach?

_No, but if it gets us away from her I am all for it_

Us?

_Dont get smart and just do it. I know you cant stand her either._

No, i dont have plans today.

_Then come up with something else. _

Fine, I sigh. I pretend to look at my watch and begin clearing my desk.

"Going somewhere?" she asks seeing me stand.

"Yes, I have made a commitment today" i say in monotone. Her eyebrow twitches when I said commitment.

_Dream on crazy. _I laugh to myself.

My other get away is fixing things. Jared seems to be at ease when his hands are busy. We have been trying to spend more time alone in the garage. Even

when I am alone it seems someone is nearby wanting to ask a question. Somehow it was made known about my previous planets. in human terms I am a

celebrity in the soul community.

"Um...Iridescents Across the Night" a voice says behind me.

_Really. We can't have ten minutes to ourselves. _I laugh to myself. I turn around to see a white-haired man standing there paitently.

"Yes" I tell him.

"Hi I'm Faces Sunward. I've been to your lectures at the university" he tells me. Jared has an urge to roll his eyes but I resist.

"Oh yes what can i do for you today?" I ask him.

"May I ask you a question?" he asks hesttantly. I nod my head and lean against the car. He doesn't speak though.

"Yes, Faces Sunward?" I asked. My biggest strength, my only real credential was the personal experience I usually taught from.

"I'm sorry to interrupt, but..." The white-haired man paused, struggling to word his question. "I'm not sure I understand something. The Fire-Tasters actually...ingest the smoke from burning the Walking Flowers? Like food?" He tried to suppress the horror in his tone. It was not a soul's place to judge another soul. But I was not surprised, given his background on the Planet of the Flowers, at his strong reaction to the fate of a similar life-form on another world.

It was always amazing to me how some souls buried themselves in the affairs of whichever world they inhabited and ignored the rest of the universe. But, to be fair, perhaps Faces Sunward had been in hibernation when Fire World became notorious.

"Yes, they receive essential nutrients from this smoke. And there in lies the fundamental dilemma and the controversy of Fire World-and the reason the planet has not been closed, though there has certainly been adequate time to populate it fully. There is also a high relocation percentage.

"When Fire World was discovered, it was at first thought that the dominant species, the Fire-Tasters, were the only intelligent life-forms present. The Fire- Tasters did not consider the Walking Flowers to be their equals-a cultural prejudice-so it was a while, even after the first wave of settling, before the souls realized they were murdering intelligent creatures. Since then, Fire World scientists have focused their efforts on finding a replacement for the dietary needs of the Fire-Tasters. Spiders are being transported there to help, but the planets are hundreds of light-years apart. When this obstacle is overcome, as it will be soon, I'm sure, there is hope that the Walking Flowers might also be assimilated. In the meantime, much of the brutality has been removed from the equation. The, ah, burning-alive portion, of course, and other aspects as well."

"How can they..." Faces Sunward trailed off, unable to finish.

Another voice completed Faces Sunward's thought. I recognize him form one of my guest lectures. "It seems like a very cruel ecosystem. Why was the planet not abandoned?"

"That has been debated, naturally, Robert. But we do not abandon planets lightly. There are many souls for whom Fire World is home. They will not be uprooted against their will." I looked away, back at my hands, in an attempt to end the side discussion.

"But it's barbaric!"

Robert was physically younger than most of the other students i have taught in my class. And truly a child in a more important way. Earth was his first world- the Mother in this case had actually been an Earth-dweller, too, before she'd given herself-and he didn't seem to have as much perspective as older, better- traveled souls. I wondered what it would be like to be born into the overwhelming sensation and emotion of these hosts with no prior experience for balance.

It would be difficult to find objectivity. I tried to remember that and be especially patient as I answered him.

"Every world is a unique experience. Unless one has lived on that world, it's impossible to truly understand the -"

"But you never lived on Fire World," he interrupted me. "You must have felt the same way... Unless you had some other reason for skipping that planet? You've been almost everywhere else."

"Choosing a planet is a very personal and private decision, Robert, as you may someday experience." My tone closed the subject absolutely.

_Why not tell them? You do think it's barbaric-and cruel and wrong. Which is pretty ironic if you __ask me-not that you ever do. What's the problem? Are you _

_ashamed that you agree with Robert? __Because he's more human than the others?_

Jared, having found his voice, was becoming downright unbearable some times. How was I supposed to concentrate on my work with his opinions sounding

off in my head all the time?

A figure moved behind him.

The Seeker, clad in her usual white, stepped forward. I resisted the urge to scowl at her. I didn't want Robert, already looking embarrassed, to mistake the

expression as meant for him. Jared grumbled. He wished I wouldn't resist. Having the Seeker stalk our every footstep had been educational for Jared; he

used to think he couldn't hate anything or anyone more than he hated me.

"I'm sorry" Robert tells me. I just smile and nod at him going back to the engine I was working on. He and Faces Sunward walk away together still talking.

What Kathy had said about friendships ran through my head, but I felt no desire to join any of them. They were strangers.

Was that the way I felt? Or the way Jared felt? It was hard to tell. Maybe I was naturally antisocial.

My personal history supported that theory, I supposed. I'd never formed an attachment strong enough to keep me on any planet for more than one life.

"Fire World stories ruffle feathers" I started slightly.

The Seeker was standing at my elbow. The woman usually announced her approach with the quick tap of her hard shoes. I looked down now to see that she was wearing sneakers for once-white, of course. She was still tall without the extra inches.

"It's not my favorite subject," I said in a bland voice. "I prefer to have firsthand experience to share"

"Strong reactions from them."

"Yes"

She looked at me expectantly, as if waiting for more. I stared down at the transmission of the car.

"You seemed slightly interested"

"I wondered why you didn't answer the question"

There was a pause while she waited for me to respond. I didn't. I continue tighening loose bolts.

"So... why didn't you answer the question?" she asked covering her eyes from sun.

I turned around, not concealing the impatience on my face. "Because it wasn't pertinent to the question, because Robert needs to learn some manners, and because it's no one else's business"

I wiped my hands with a rag and headed for my toolbox. She stayed right beside me, rushing to keep up with my longer legs. We walked into the garage below my apartment in silence. It wasn't until we were outside again, where the afternoon sun lit the dust motes in the salty air, that she spoke again.

"Do you think you'll ever settle, Iridescents? On this planet, maybe? You seem to have an affinity for their... feelings"

I bridled at the implied insult in her tone. I wasn't even sure how she meant to insult me, but it was clear that she did. Jared stirred resentfully.

"I'm not sure what you mean"

"Tell me something, Wanderer. Do you pity them?"

"Who?" I asked blankly. "The Walking Flowers?" she giggled lightly.

"No, the humans"

I stopped walking, and she skidded to a halt beside me. I dont even look at her and drop my wrench and turn to walk up the stairs to my apartment. I try to hurry up in hopes of getting away from her, though likely as not, she'd invite herself in. But her question caught me off guard.

"The humans?"

"Yes. Do you pity them?"

"Don't you?"

"No. They were quite the brutal race. They were lucky to survive each other as long as they did"

"Not every one of them was bad"

"It was a predilection of their genetics. Brutality was part of their species. But you pity them, it seems"

"It's a lot to lose, don't you think?" I gestured around us. We stood in a parklike space between two ivy-covered dormitories. The deep green of the ivy was pleasing to the eye, especially in contrast to the faded red of the old bricks. The air was golden and soft, and the smell of the ocean gave a briny edge to the honey sweet fragrance of the flowers in the bushes. The breeze caressed the bare skin of my arms. "In your other lives, you can't have felt anything so vivid. Wouldn't you pity anyone who had this taken from them?" Her expression stayed flat, unmoved. I made an attempt to draw her in, to make her consider another viewpoint. "Which other worlds have you lived on?"

She hesitated, then squared her shoulders. "None. I've only lived on Earth"

That surprised me. She was as much a child as Robert. "Only one planet? And you chose to be a Seeker in your first life?"

She nodded once, her chin set.

"Well. Well, that's your business" I started walking again. Maybe if I respected her privacy, she would return the favor.

"I spoke to your Comforter"

_And maybe not_, Jared thought sourly.

"What?" I gasped.

"I gather you've been having more trouble than just accessing the information I need. Have you considered trying another, more pliable host? She suggested that, did she not?"

"Kathy wouldn't tell you anything!"

The Seeker's face was smug. "She didn't have to answer. I'm very good at reading human expressions. I could tell when my questions struck a nerve"

"How dare you? The relationship between a soul and her Comforter-"

"Is sacrosanct, yes; I know the theory. But the acceptable means of investigation don't seem to be working with your case. I have to get creative. There are also the whispering from your co-workers"

"You think I'm keeping something from you?" I demanded, too angry to control the disgust in my voice. "You think I confided that to my Comforter or a co-worker?"

My anger didn't faze her. Perhaps, given her strange personality, she was used to such reactions.

"No. I think you're telling me what you know... But I don't think you're looking as hard as you could. I've seen it before. You're growing sympathetic to your host. You're letting his memories unconsciously direct your own desires. It's probably too late at this point. I think you'd be more comfortable moving on, and maybe someone else will have better luck with him."

"Hah!" I shouted. "Jared would eat them alive!"

Her expression froze in place.

She'd had no idea, no matter what she thought she'd discerned from Kathy. She'd thought Jared's influence was from memories, that it was unconscious.

"I find it very interesting that you speak of him in the present tense"

I ignored that, trying to pretend I hadn't made a slip. "If you think someone else would have better luck breaking into his secrets, you're wrong"

"Only one way to find out"

"Did you have someone in mind?" I asked, my voice frigid with aversion.

She grinned. "Seeker Lorenzo has gotten permission to give it a try. Shouldn't take long. They're going to hold his host for him"

_No that guy is brutal. He cannot come in my body!, _Jared shouts furiously.

I had to breathe deeply. I was shaking, and Jared was so full of hate. The idea of having the Seeker inside me, even though I knew that I would not be here, was so repugnant that I felt a return of last week's nausea.

"It's too bad for your investigation that I'm not a skipper."

The Seeker's eyes narrowed. "Well, it does certainly make this assignment drag on. History was never of much interest to me, but it looks like I'm in for a full course now."

_This one doesnt know what is good for her, does she._

"You just said that it was probably too late to get any more from his memories," I reminded her, struggling to make my voice calm. "Why don't you go back to wherever you belong?"

She shrugged and smiled a tight smile. "I'm sure it is too late... for voluntary information. But if you don't cooperate, he might just lead him to them yet."

"Lead him?"

"When he takes full control, and you're no better than that weakling, once Racing Song, now Kevin. Remember him? The one who attacked the Healer?"

I stared at her, eyes wide, nostrils flared.

"Yes, it's probably just a matter of time. Your Comforter didn't tell you the statistics, did she? Well, even if she did, she wouldn't have the latest information that we have access to. The long-term success rate for situations such as yours-once a human host begins to resist-is under twenty percent. Did you have any idea it was so bad? They're changing the information they give potential settlers. There will be no more adult hosts offered. The risks are too great. We're losing souls. It won't be long before he's talking to you, talking through you, controlling your decisions."

I hadn't moved an inch or relaxed a muscle. The Seeker leaned in, stretched up on her toes to put her face closer to mine. Her voice turned low and smooth in an attempt to sound persuasive.

"Is that what you want, Iridescents? To lose? To fade away, erased by another awareness? To be no better than a host body?"

I couldn't breathe.

"It only gets worse. You won't beyou anymore. He'll beat you, and you'll disappear. Maybe someone will intervene... Maybe they'll move you like they did Kevin. And you'll become some child named Jared who likes to tinker with cars rather than compose music. Or whatever it is he does."

"The success rate is under twenty percent?" I whispered.

She nodded, trying to suppress a smile. "You're losing yourself, Iridescents. All the worlds you've seen, all the experiences you've collected-they'll be for nothing. But if you just let me help you" she smiles reaching her hand up to my cheek.

I jerked away from her, my face flushing.

"I'm sorry," she muttered, her face darkening, too.

"I'm going home. Don't follow."

"I have to, Iridescents. It's my job."

"Why do you care so much about a few spare humans? Why? How do you justify your job anymore? We've won! It's time for you to join society and do something productive!"

My questions, my implied accusations, did not ruffle her.

"Wherever the fringes of their world touch ours there is death." She spoke the words peacefully, and for a moment I glimpsed a different person in her face.

It surprised me to realize that she deeply believed in what she did. Part of me had supposed that she only chose to seek because she illicitly craved the violence. "If even one soul is lost to your Melanie or your Jamie, that is one soul too many. Until there is total peace on this planet, my job will be justified. As long as there are Melanies surviving, I am needed to protect our kind. As long as there are Jareds leading souls around by the nose..." I turned my back on her and headed for my apartment with long strides that would force her to run if she wanted to keep up.

"Don't lose yourself, Iridescents Across the Night!" she called after me. "Time is running out for you!" She paused, then shouted more loudly. "Inform me when I'm to start calling you Jared!" Her voice faded as the space between us grew. I knew she would follow at her own pace. This last uncomfortable week seeing her face everyday, hearing her footsteps behind me on the sidewalk every day-was nothing compared to what was coming. She was going to make my life a misery.

It felt as if Jared were bouncing violently against the inner walls of my skull.

_Let's get her canned. Tell her higher-ups that she did something unacceptable. Assaulted us. It's our word against hers -_

In a human world, I reminded him, almost sad that I didn't have access to that sort of are no higher-ups, in that sense. Everyone works together as equals.

There are those whom many report to, in order to keep the information organized, and councils who make decisions about that information, but they won't remove her from an assignment she wants. You see, it works like -

_Who cares how it works if it doesn't help us? I know-let's kill her! _A gratuitous image of my hands tightening around the Seeker's neck filled my head.

That sort of thing is exactlywhy my kind is better left in charge of this place.

_Get off your high horse. You'd enjoy it as much as I would._ The image returned, the Seeker's face turning blue in our imagination, but this time it was accompanied by a fierce wave of pleasure.

That's you, not me. My statement was true; the image sickened me. But it was also perilously close to false-in that I would very much enjoy never seeing the Seeker again.

_What do we do now? I'm not giving up. You're not giving up. And that wretched Seeker is sure as hell not giving up!_

I didn't answer him. I didn't have a ready answer.

It was quiet in my head for a brief moment. That was nice. I wished the silence could last. But there was only one way to buy my peace. Was I willing to pay the price? Did I have a choice anymore?

Jared slowly calmed. By the time I was through the front door, locking behind me the bolts that I had never before turned-human artifacts that had no place in a peaceful world-his thoughts were contemplative.

I'd never thought about how you all carry on your species. I didn't know it was like that.

We take it very seriously, as you can imagine. Thanks for your concern. He wasn't bothered by the thick edge of irony in the thought.

I did not see or speak to the Seeker the following week. Jared and I were both relieve but he still had a, how did he put it, oh a gut feeling something wasnt

right. She had clearly stated she wasnt givivng up. So for her to now up and vanish doesnt seem to fit.

Jared has good survival skills from being on the run for so long. He likes to be prepared for anything. Saying that he insisted on me preparing an emergency bag of supplies and hidding it close by just in case. He forgets sometimes that souls arent like humans. Well the majority arent.

It is typical friday night at home. I am looking over my notes that I have been able to gather on figuring out what the lines in Jared's memories mean. I dont think they are roads but something else i cnat put my finger on. Then there is a knock at the door. Jared is immediately on the alert. I tuck away my papers in a hidden floor safe and walk to the door.

When i open the door, it wasnt who I expected.

"Seeker" I say as calmly as i can. Her face doesnt even twitch.

_Somethings not right here, _Jared says.

"Iridescents Across the Night." she replies without emotion.

_Definitely not good._

"What is going on?" I ask trying not to seem worried. She looks at the floor then back to me.

"I am terribly sorry but it is for your own good" she says stepping aside.

"What do you-" I begin before a fine mist sprays in my face. Raspberries. That is the last thing I remember before blacking out.


	7. Chapter 8 Captured

**Well here is another chapter. I had to change some of the things that happened to him cause it was pointed out he cant be the same as Wanda. And in turn Wanda and Mel are diferent too. They are soon to come**

**Once again I do not own the Host**

**CHAPTER 8**

Captured

_What's going on?_ The thought held a flicker of panic. I felt his awareness begin to rifle through my head, his touch like the soft brush of feathers, searching for anything I might be keeping from him.

The sedation is wearing off leaving my mind clear but my body is still groggy. I try to sit up but slump back down on the floor.

Seriously Jared. You know what I know and if you havent noticed i dont know anything.

_I'll tell you what i think happened. That wench Seeker turned us in_

I told you there isnt anyone higher up, we are all equals.

_Then expalin what the hell happened. Her coming all serious saying it was for our own good the knocking us out. We dont even know where we are right now._

I know I know. I still feel the effects of the Sleep. Just give me a second.

_Well hurry up i hear someone coming. _He is right I can hear it to. The tapping of heels.

_If that is her, do not get in my way. _

I'll try and keep that in mind. Jared gasps a little. It is unlike me to agree for him to try and hurt her but my patience is wearing thin.

The heels stop within a few feet of me. I slowly opens me eyes, the bright light nearly blinding me. I dont close them like when i first woke up. I want to know where I am and what is going on.

I look around me. I appear to be in some kind of holding cell. In the corner of my eye I detect movement. I turn to see red pumps. My eyes follow up to realize it is the Seeker.

"I see your branching out in your choice of colors" I say, irritation seeping through my voice. She reamins quiet. I push myseft up to me feet.

"Why am I here?" I ask staring into her empty eyes.

"I'm sorry Iridescents but I do not believe earth is the right planet for you"

"What do you mean? You told me to except it and I have"

"Well that was before Jared started taking over"

"He hasnt taken over" my voice raises.

"Not yet. But it isnt just him I'm concerned about"

"Due tell" i ask. Her eyes narrow on me.

"You are not like other souls are you?" she aks "I should have suspected something from when you awakend saying you didnt want to be a murderer again. But I will admit. My body was slightly attracted to you to take notice. Tell me, do you hate our kind?"

"Very much. Or are you going to say it is Jared who hates you"

"No I very much believe it is you too who dislikes the idea of souls inhabiting the humans. I just held on to the hope that you would change your mind"

"Keep dreaming" I echo Jared's comment.

"Have it your way. Pity. I have to say, you would have made some handsome children, if you ever found a partner that is"

_Psychotic bi..._

"What are you going to do with me?" I quickly ask shutting him up.

"You will be removed, then Jared there will get a little visit from Seeker Lorenzo and after he will be disposed of"

_No I cant have the other nut job in me! Well they're all nut jobs except for you that is_

"Where am I going?" I ask again. I lean against the bars of the cell. She step closer.

"To the farthest planet" she mutters. My eyes widen.

"Fire World. No! You cant!" I scream at her. I thrust out my arm to grab her neck, she shifts out of my reach. For once this is my wanting with out Jared.

"There you will see what it is like to be a _real_ murderer" she spits.

"No!" I shout but she is already gone. I continue to scream and kick the bars of my cell. After which I sink back down on the floor, burying my head in my hands and cry.

_Dude, men dont cry here, especially me._

I dont care!

_Sorry. C'mon we cant give up, not yet._

And what would you like me to do Jared? Face it. It is over. We lost. I'm being shipped to the foulest planet and you will be destroyed. We will never see Melanie again. Let's just hope they do it quickly.

With no such luck, our end did not come right away. I have seriously underestimated the souls ability to punish someone. Maybe they took it from the humans handbook. Learned a thing or two.

I dont even know how long we have been here, a few days, a week. I remember it was a friday when i came but i have no idea what day it is today. Time goes by slowly. i mostly just sleep all the time with Jared supplying memories of his life. I guess a way to say goodbye.

He doesnt want to give up that easily, alway looking around to see if there is any way of getting out. Surprisingly he seems to be getting stronger, willing my head to look around for weak spots. Maybe by the time they get around to us I will have faded away.

_Dont think like that._

Why not? Dont you want your body back?

_Of course I do but you dont deserve to just fade away._

Thanks, i guess. We both smile at our now mutual friendship. Our happy moment is interrupted by the sound of clanking metal and screaming.

"Crazy human" a mans voice yells.

"I'm not human. I'm a soul just like you!" a higher voice yells back, probably a woman or a girl.

"Might as well be a human" the man voices back. The woman laughs.

"I'll take that as a compliment" she spits back.

_What was that? _Jared asks. I shrug our shoulders.

I have no idea, I answer. Now it seems to have peak our interest. I slowly stand. My muscles are cramped form not moving for a couple of days. I see a man hurried past my cell. He doesnt even look at me. He has an angry expression on. I raise an eyebrow in curiously.

There is enough room in between the bars for me to stick my head out, nothing more. I cautiously do and peer down the hallway in the direction the man came from. Three cells down I see a flash of red hair moving back and forth. I try to lean further in to get a better look.

A noise down the hall startles me and I bang my head against the bar. It makes a dong noise.

"Oww" I let out. I look to see if anyone heard me and turn back to the other cell and see a pair of silver blue eys staring at me.

"What are you looking at" she says harshly.

"Sorry. I thought I was the only one here"

"Guess not" she remarks rolling her eyes. I was wrong it is not a woman but a teenage girl. She has snow white skin, which makes her hair stand out more. I can still see her vibrant blue eyes under the silver.

"What's your name?" I ask her.

"Ginny"

"Was that your hosts name?"

"No I picked it out myself. She had some girly name like Molly, Polly, Dolly...I dont know"

"And Ginny isnt girly"

"I guess it is"

"I'm Iridescents Across the Night"

"Singing World"

"Yes. You've been there?"

"No. This is only my second planet. I was born on the Fire World"

"Wow" I say. I would never have thought that.

"I know"

"I guess you couldnt get the more perfect body to represent that"

"I guess not but I am not proud of it"

"Me neither. That's where I am to be shipped off too"

"No you cant" she says angrily.

"Tell them that" I say pointing to the area where the Seekers are usually at.

"That planet doesnt deserve souls to be sent there"

"What can we do about it?"

_I'll tell you what we can do. We escape. _

And how exactly are we going to do that?, I ask curious.

_Give me some time I'll figure something out_

"Interesting conversation?" a voice pulls me back. I look up ro see Ginny sticking her head out of the bars too.

"What?" I ask confused. She laughs.

"You were just talking to your host right?" she asks me. I feel my brows come together which makes her laugh more.

"How did you? Is yours still present?" i ask her quickly. Maybe I am not alone.

"No, I was placed in as a child. I did have a friend who still had their host. You tend to get a far away look when you talk to them. You might want to try and hide it" she say slooking up at the command center.

"Good to know" i mutter. I look down at my hands sticking out of the bars.

"So what did he say, you host?" she then asks. This time I laugh and she gives me the confused look.

"He said we should escape"

"Really. And how exactly?" she says humorly.

"He said he would come up with something"

"What's his name?" she asks. I ask Jared and he say to go ahead.

"Jared" I answer.

"Well Jared, when you come up with a plan let me know cause I am in" she tells me well him. I smile.

"He says will do" I tell her. She smiles. She looks better when she smiles. Someone so young should have expressions of anger like she did before.

"So what are you in for?" I ask. Jared laughs it is something convicts used to ask each other when sent to places like this.

"Attacking my Comforter"

"What?"

"They said it was my host but i proudly told them it was me. He was really getting on my nerves. What about you?"

"Well, I didnt do anything like that. It is hard to explain. See I didnt ask to be sent here. I tried to die on my last planet but i was sent here anyway because I have experience on almost all the planets..."

"No way. Your him?"

"Him who?"

"I cant believe I didnt recognize you before. To be honest I didnt expect you to look like that" she says looking at up. I look at myself. She blushes.

"It is a compliment. I heard about you while I was still on the Fire World. How many planets have you lived on"

"Really. This is my ninth host. I never went to the Fire World though. Do they really talk about me there?"

"Yes. Sometimes it is hard to know what is real and what is made up, especially if someone was once a See Weed" she says we both laugh.

"You'll have to tell me some stories when we get out of here" she says winking. I am about to answer when a door opens. We both retreat to the back of our cells.

Looks like I wont get a chance too, I think.

I sink to the ground a curl my knees up to my chest. It has been nice knowing you Jared. I wish you luck and i'm sorry.

_The pleasure was all mine Iridescents. _

Hey that is the first time you have said my name.

_First time for everything. _

I can hear the familiar sounds of heel clicking our way. I lay my head on my knees, waiting. Melanie I hope you are safe where ever you may be.

_Goodbye man. Good luck in your next life. _Next life. What next life. I plan on finishing what I started on Singing World. I will not murder the Walking flowers to survive.

The heels are suddenly close. I muster up some strength and look up. I see the Seeker walk by my cell. She glances at me for a quick second. Following her are two other souls. A man and a woman. She is holding a small child. It is a little girl. She looks up from the womans shoulder. She is human. Her big, round chocolate brown eyes stare into mine. She gives me a small smile and a wave as they walk by. I am stunned. I wave back to her and she giggles. The four walked into a room where a Healer is already waiting.

_Then again..._

"Looks like we lucked out today" I say happily. I look at Ginny who is also smiling.

_Not for the little girl_

That is what i think too. They brought her here for a soul to be put inside of her. Poor kid. Her life taken away before it really even starts.

The sudden noise of crying brings me back. It must be the little girl. But why is she crying? They have to sedate you before performing the implantaton. I get back up and go to the bars. The room they are in is ten feet away. I listen closely.

"It is okay Rosie. Shh"

"Well Hearler Skye. Will she make a suitable host?"

"I'm afraid not"

"Why?"

"It seems your host daughter has chronic Meniere's disease"

"What is that?"

"It is a disorder of the inner ear that can affect hearing and balance. Have you noticed her stumbling?"

"Well yes she is only two"

"It may not be just that. When she stumbles does she get right back up or does she stay down for a while?"

"Usually she gets back up but yes she has several times stayed on the ground. Sometimes for a half and hour"

"Meniere's often starts with one sympton"

"Will it affect her becoming a host?"

"I'm afraid yes. There is nothing we can do to treat it. She could become hard of hearing or even deaf. She would not make a suitable host not with her condition. It would not be fair for the host put into her to have that defect"

"Alright we understand. Maybe we can try again"

"I'm sure it will work out for you"

_But that means..._

"Thank you Healer" the woman says. The door then opens and the couple leave. I notice that their daughter isnt with them. I look back to the room and see The Healer holding the crying child.

"She will be disposed of with the others" the Seeker instructs not looking at the crying child.

"Yes Seeker" the Healer replies then walks away with her.

No! They left her! They left her to die! Who would do such a thing? I cant believe what I am seeing.

I grip the bars as she nears me. I spit at her feet. She looks down then up at me in the eyes.

"Dont worry your time will come soon, Jared" The Seeker says with venom in her voice. I feel like i am on fire with all the hatred i have for her rushes through my veins.

_I am so going to enjoy when I get my hands around your throat. _

Me too Jared. Me too. She smiles at my fury and walks away slowly.

"Please tell me Jared has a plan" Ginny asks calling over. I can tell she saw the little girl too.

_Hell ya. _I smile devilishly at her. She can see I am listening to him and smiles too.

We are so getting out of here.


	8. Chapter 9 Escaped

**Hi it is me again with another chapter. Sorry for the long wait . **

**I am having a hard time getting into Jared's head on certain things. I want him to be different. In the Host he was hard and angry for most of the book. Here I want to show a different side of him. If you have an suggestions i am all ears. **

**I am also thinking of not having Sharon or Walter like for the upcoming movie so "Ian" will have to prove himself to Melanie another way. Thanks again for reading.**

**Sorry for any mistakes**

**Contains sections of the Host which I do not own.**

**Chapter 9**

Escaped

I have learned I have been a prisoner for a month now. They have only provided water twice a day. They want us be weak when it comes to our time.

It might have actually worked if we hadnt seen the soul couple leave their daughter to be disposed of. It gave us the need strength to try and get out of here. Jared has been working nonstop for two days, since we saw her last. I really hope we are not to late to save her.

He thinks he has the perfect plan. I really hope so because i have a feeling to today is the day.

It is an early tuesday morning. The Healers have been preparing since before the sun was up. Six cots have been placed in the hallway. I assume one for each of us. I watch the Healer in the room ten feet away lay out all his needed instruments.

The Seeker was right, our day has come soon. She is very good at keeping promises to those _unfortunate_ ones that cross her. Right now I am the very unfortunate to have crossed her.

I lean on the bars, my eyes following the Healer. He never looks up from what he is doing. He has no sigh of nervouness or fear at the fact that he is about to kill an innocent child.

I look over to see Ginny curled up on the ground of her cell. The effects of no food has gotten to her. She looks much smaller when she lays like that. It makes mt heart ache to see her like that.

Then I hear it. The irritating sound of clicking heels on the ground. The Seeker. I clench my hands on the bars.

"Morning Jared" she says smiling. I look from Ginny back to the Healer.

"My name is Iridescents Across the Night"

"Well have you changed your mind? It doesn't have to be like this. You don't have to sent off. We can give you a new host. You can start-"

"No thanks" I cut her off. I want to look at her expression but i keep my eyes away.

"Fine. And how is Jared?" she asks with an angry tone. I smile at his response.

"He says screw off" I repeat with the same tone as his. She hisses.

"He won't have that attitude after Lorenzo is inserted" she says with venom in her voice. She is like a poisnous snake that needs its head chopped off.

_Good illustration._

Thanks. I thought it fit quite well.

"He'll tell him to screw off too" I answer adding my own anger.

"Seeker. We are ready" the Healer informs her. She looks her shoulder slightly to him, as if reconsidering.

"Good. Begin sedation" she then orders.

"Yes Seeker" the Healer resonds. My eyes follow him. He turns and is followed by three assistants, around the corner. Moments later he remerges holding little Rosie. I clench my jaw tight seeing her asleep in his arms. A female assistant comes out holding a boy, while two others come out, each with a girl. The children are layed on the awaiting cots.

I gaze at the children. The boy looks to be about nine, face covered in freckles. Both girls look about ten. One has long, shiny blonde hair; the other thick black and curly.

The Healer then walks over to Ginny's cell. She sits up quickly pulling her knees to her chest. She looks up at me, tears brimming her eyes. The Healer slowly opens her cell and walks in.

When I first arrived she could have easily taken him on but a month of no food had taken a toll on her. Her tries to push herself to the wall. He stops in front of her and bends slowly. Her eyes dart to mine again. I try to give her a reassuring smile. She knows Jared has a plan but she is still scared.

The Healer sprays a fine mist in front of her and she immediately goes limp.

_That must be the Sleep, like what they used when they kidnapped us. As soon as you breathe you'll be out. _I remember what Ginny said before and I try to keep my face blank.

Yes I know. If I dont inhale a lot i wont be completely knocked out, i tell him as I watch a male assistant picks Ginny up, like if she is a doll, and place her on the cot.

"Jared here will go first"

"Yes Seeker" the Healer says. She moves to the side but can still watch me. I step back as the Healer unlocks my cell door. I keep backing as he approaches. Now he does look hesitant beign to close to a 'wild" human. I could take him so easily but I know it wouldn't help.

My back hits the wall and i can't go any farther. The Healer stops four feet in front of me, not wanting to get in arms reach i believe. I look again at the Seeker. She has a sympathetic look on her face until she notices I am watching her.

_She just wanted to get in our pants, _Jared jokes. I keep my face hard. I look back at the Healer. He holds up the silver canister and sprays the fine mist. I look at him. He waits for me to breath. I take one quick breath. The familiar scent of reaspberries makes me angry although I can't to anything as I fall to the ground.

_Are we too late? Is Lorenzo in my head?_

Sorry man you're still stuck with me.

_Iridescents you're here. It worked. They didnt take you out yet._

Not yet. I am going to need your help though.

_Let's go then._

I begin to open my eyes. At first I can't see. That is when I realize I am face down on the cot. I hear the Healer moving about, there's also someone else in the room, probably his assistant.

I slowly lift my head, cautious in case either of them is facing me. Luckily they both have their backs to me. I ease off the cot. The assistant is the closest to me. I tip toe behind him and wrap my arm around his throat cutting off his air supply. I cover his mouth so he doesn't alert the Healer. He passes out a few seconds later.

I drop him to the ground. He makes a loud thump as he hits face first. The Healer spins around. His eyes widen in fear. He looks from me to the unconscious body.

"Surprised? Ya you should be its a human thing to do"

"Oh him? Don't worry he will wake up. He will have a massive headache"

"Are you going to kill me?"

"Why would I do that, I need you" I tell him. He puts down the laser in his hand. I motion him to sit down. I grab some tape in a desk drawer. I reach in his pockets to take his phone.

"Alright you are going to help me and my friends" I say as I roll him out the door. The five cots are still in the hall.

"How do I wake them?" I ask him.

"Just spray the Awake in front of their noses" he tells me. I pull his chair back in the room and he gestures to a shelf of silver canisters. I pick up one that says Awake on it. I roll him back to the cots. I spray the fine mist in front of Ginny's nose. She twitches and then opens her eyes.

"Why do I smell grapefruit?"

"That doesn't matter. We are getting out of here"

"Should we wake up the kids?"

"Maybe just Rosie, she wasn't afraid of me before. Here just spray this in front of her nose" i tell her handing her the canister.

"Okay Healer you're going to call my Seeker"

"What?" he and Ginny say together.

"Just do it"

"Her number on my phone" he says. I take the phone out of my pocket and go to the contacts. It wasn't hard to find her number. It just said Seeker. I press it and it begins ringing.

"Act casual. Tell her Lorenzo was placed in Jared's body" I tell him as I press the phone to his ear.

"Hello Seeker I was told to call you when Lorenzo was inside the rebel host. Here he is"

"Hello Seeker" I try to say as soul-like as i can.

"Hello Lorenzo. Have you had success infiltrating his memories?" she asks. Her voice turns my stomach.

"Not yet Seeker. He is still resisting. I do have a sense that he is hiding something big though. It might take some time to retrieve it"

"He is to be disposed of" she hisses.

"I know but if my hunch is correct it will be worth it" I hear her sigh.

"Very well, take your time. I am on assignment in San Diego. Keep me posted"

"Yes Seeker" I say smiling. She hangs up. I close the phone and smash it to the ground.

"We are in the clear" I tell Ginny. I look at Rosie who is watching us.

"Hi Rosie I'm Iridescents" I say sweetly bending to her level.

"Iri" she says giggling. I can't help but laugh.

"Ya. We are going to get out of here, okay" I tell her.

"Okie dokie"

"And where exactly are we going to go?" Ginny asks me. I look at the Healer. I pull Ginny in front of Rosie and punch the Healer with Jared's help.

_That felt good._

That hurt, I tell him rubbing my fist.

"First my place. I have a emergency pack there"

Ginny picks Rosie up and places her on the ground. I place the boy on her shoulders. She nods she is okay. I gently pick up the two girls and drape them on my shoulders.

"This way. We need a car"

We walk through the prison to the back entrance. Outside sit four cars. I walk quickly to the mini van parked the furthest away. Of course the doors are unlocked. And to our luck there is also a carseat. Rosie jumps in and sits down in it. Ginny and I laugh. I carefully place the two girls in the third row seats as Ginny sets the boy next to Rosie and buckles her in. After that I hop in the drivers seat with Ginny in the passenger.

_Look in the visor for the keys, _Jared tells me. I pull down the visor and the keys fall on my lap.

_So predictable._

"What's going on?" a high pitch voice asks behind us. Ginny looks back.

"Ah! You're one of them" the voice yells again.

"Calm down kid. We just saved your butts" Ginny tells the boy. I look at him in the rear view mirror.

"There's two of them!"

"What do you mean you just saved us?" the blonde then asks.

"We saved you from becoming one of us" Ginny says.

"Long story. What's your names?" I tell her. They don't answer. I laugh to myself.

"Well I'm Iridescents Across the Night, this is Ginny and that's Rosie"

"Are you partners?" the curly-haired girl then asks.

"What no" I immediately say. Ginny laughs at me.

"We just met a month ago when they brought him. We were both going to be extracted and sent off planet"

"But your one of them" the boy says again. Yes kid we get it. We are one of them.

"Like I said long story" I tell him.

"I'm Portia by the way" the blonde says.

"Nice to meet you Portia"

"Penney"

"Kasher"

"Well it is nice to meet you all" I say to them. The girls smile while Kasher keeps his eyes on us.

It takes a half hour to get to my apartment. I go around the corner twice to make sure no one is there. I park across the street and we walk to the apartment.

I unlock the front door and usher them in. I immediatley go to the hidden floor safe and pull out the papers. Then I walk to a nearby wall and gently push a panel away revealing my emergency bag.

"Really?" Ginny asks standing next to me. She is trying not to laugh at my precautions.

"Yes really" I tell her. Rosie then rushes over and grabs ahold of my leg.

"Did you honestly think I would fall for that?" a shrill voice says behind us. The Seeker.

_Does she ever give up._

"Can't blame a guy for trying" I say turning around. She has a pissed expression. Kasher, Portia and Penney run over to us.

"Try and remember that when we find Melanie" she hisses at me, smiling. Big mistake.

Jared takes over and squeezes her throat in a split second.

"I will find you. Then your both dead" she says before she passes out.

"Let's go before more come. Do you kids have any _human_ family left we could take you to?"

"No"

"Okay then" I throw my bag over my shoulder and pick Rosie up. I head down the steps to the garage. I put Rosie down and lift the door open.

"You have a car?" Ginny asks me. I smile and pull the tarp off. The kids gasp. I laugh.

"You have a Seeker car? Cool" Kasher says. I pat his head. I walk to the mini van and pull out the carseat.

"Please explain" Ginny asks pointing to the shiny chrome SUV.

"I found it. It had been in a wreck chasing humans so I decided to fix it"

"Wait your a Seeker aren't you?"

"I was. And not a good one"

"He pretended to be one to find his host's love"

"How sweet" Portia and Penney say together.

"C'mon get in. We need to get far from here"

I found myself looking in the rearview mirror often, searching for a sign of pursuit. I was driving slower than anyone else, unknowing of my destination, and

the other cars passed me without pause. There were no faces I recognized as they moved ahead. I shouldn't have let the Seeker's taunt bother me; will never find Melanie. Still... I continued to watch for her.

I'd been west to the ocean, north and south up and down the pretty California coastline, but I'd never been east for any distance at all. Civilization fell behind me quickly, and I was soon surrounded by the blank hills and rocks that were the precursors to the empty desert wastelands.

It was very relaxing to be away from civilization, and this bothered me. I should not have found the loneliness so welcoming. Souls were sociable. We lived and worked and grew together in harmony. We were all the same: peaceful, friendly, honest. Why should I feel better away from my kind? Was it Jared who made me this way?

I searched for him but found him remote, dreaming in the back of my head.

The miles passed quickly. The dark, rough rocks and the dusty plains covered in scrub flew by with monotonous uniformity. I realized I was driving faster than I'd meant to. There wasn't anything to keep my mind occupied here, so I found it hard to linger. Absently, I wondered why the desert was so much  
more colorful in Jared's memories, so much more compelling. I let my mind coast with his, trying to see what it was that was special about this vacant place.

But he wasn't seeing the sparse, dead land surrounding us. He was dreaming of another desert, canyoned and red, a magical place. he didn't try to keep me out. In fact, he seemed almost unaware of my presence. I questioned again what his detachment meant. I sensed no thought of attack.

It was a place he had never allowed me to see before. There was a cabin, an ingenious dwelling tucked into a nook in the red sandstone, perilously close to the flash flood line. An unlikely place, far from any trail or path, built in what seemed a senseless location. A rough place, without any of the conveniences of modern technology. He remembered Melanie laughing at the sink one had to pump to pull water up from the ground.

"It beats pipes," I say, my brows pull together. I am worried by her laugh.I'm afraid she doesn't like it? "Nothing to trace, no evidence that we're here."

"I love it," she says quickly. "It's like an old movie. It's perfect."

The smile that never truly leaves my face. "They don't tell you the worst parts in the movies. C'mon, I'll show you where the latrine is."

We hear Jamie's laughter echo through the narrow canyon as he runs ahead of us. His black hair bounces with his body. He bounces all the time now, this thin boy with the sun-darkened skin. The anxious expression has faded, replaced by grins. They are both more resilient than I gave them credit for.

"Who built this place?"

"My father and older brothers. I helped, or rather hindered, a little. My dad loved to get away from everything. And he didn't care much about convention. He never bothered to find out who the land actuallybelonged to or file permits or any of that pesky stuff." I laugh, throwing my head back. "Officially, this place doesn't exist. Convenient, isn't it?" Without seeming to think about it, I reach out and take her hand.

My skin burns where it meets hers. It feels better than good, but it sets off a strange aching in my chest.

I am forever touching her this way, I always seeming to need to reassure myself that she is here. Does she realize what it does to me, the simple pressure of her warm palm next to mine? Does her pulse jump in her veins, too? Or am I just happy to not be alone anymore?

I swing our arms as we walk beneath a little stand of cottonwood trees, their green so vivid against the red that it plays tricks on my eyes. I am happy here, happier than in other places. The feeling is still unfamiliar.

I haven't kissed her since that first night, when she screamed, finding the scar on my neck. Does she not want to kiss me again? Should I kiss her? What if she doesn't like that?

I look down at her and smile. I wonder if she is as as I think she is, or if it's just that she's the only person left in the whole world besides Jamie and me.  
No, I don't think that's it. She really is beautiful.

"What are you thinking, Mel?" I ask. "You seem to be concentrating on something very important." I laugh.

She shrugs, and my stomach flutters. "It's beautiful here."

I look around us. "Yes. But then, isn't home always beautiful?"

"Home." she repeats the word quietly. "Home."

"Your home, too, if you want it."

"I want it." I never want to leave, though I know we'll have to. Food doesn't grow on trees. Not in the desert, at least.

I squeeze her hand, and my heart punches against my ribs. It's just like pain, this pleasure.

There was a blurring sensation as skipped ahead, his thoughts dancing through the hot day until hours after the sun had fallen behind the red canyon walls. I went along, almost hypnotized by the endless road stretching ahead of me, the skeletal bushes flying by with mind-numbing sameness.

She peeks into the one narrow little bedroom. The full-size mattress is only inches away from the rough stone walls on either side. It gives her a deep, rich sense of joy to see Jamie asleep on a real bed, his head on a soft pillow. His lanky arms and legs sprawl out, leaving little room for her where she is meant to sleep. Almost ten-soon he won't be a child at all. Except that he will always be a child to her.

Jamie breathes evenly, sleeping sound. There is no fear in his dream, for this moment at least.  
She shuts the door quietly and comes back to the small couch where I am waiting.

"Thank you," she whispers, though she knows shouting the words wouldn't wake Jamie now. "I feel bad. This couch is much too short for you. Maybe you should take the bed with Jamie."

I chuckle. "Mel, you're only a few inches shorter than I am. Sleep comfortably, for once. Next time I'm out, I'll steal myself a cot or something."

I drop my arm around her shoulders and tuck her against my side. She scoots closer, though the heat of touching her has my heart aching again.

"Why the frown?" I ask.  
"When will you... when will we have to leave again?"

I shrug. "We scavenged enough on our way up that we're set for a few months. I can do a few short raids if you want to stay in one place for a while. I'm sure you're tired of running."

"Yes, I am," she agrees. She takes a deep breath. "But if you go, I go."

I hug tighter. "I'll admit, I prefer it that way. The thought of being separated from you..." I laugh quietly. "Does it sound crazy to say that I'd rather die? Too melodramatic?"  
"No, I know what you mean."

She must feel the same way I do. Would she say these things if she thought of me as just another human, and not as a man?

I realize that this is the first time we've ever been really alone since the night we met-the first time there's been a door to close between a sleeping Jamie and the two of us. So many nights we've stayed awake, talking in whispers, telling all of our stories, the happy stories and the horror stories, always with Jamie's head cradled on her lap. It makes my breath come faster, that simple closed door.

"I don't think you need to find a cot, not yet."

I look at her, my eyes questioning, but she can't meet them.

"We'll stay here until the food is gone, don't worry. I've slept on worse things than this couch."

"That's not what I mean," she says, still looking down.

"You get the bed, Mel. I'm not budging on that."

"That's not what I mean, either." It's barely a whisper. "I meant the couch is plenty big for Jamie. He won't outgrow it for a long time. I could share the bed with... you."  
There is a pause. I want her to look up, to read the expression on her face.  
I tug her chin up. My heart throbs when our eyes meet.

"Mel, I..." , for once, my face has no smile.

She tries to look away, but I hold her chin so that her gaze can't escape mine. Does she think i am the kind of guy to take advantage of her?

After a moment, I turn my head; I'm the one looking away now, still keeping my grip on her chin. My voice is quiet. "You don't owe me that, Melanie. You don't owe me anything at all."

"I'm not saying... I didn't mean that I feltobligated. And... you shouldn't, either. Forget I said anything."

"Not likely, Mel."

I take a deep breath. I squint at the floor, my eyes and jaw tight. "Mel, it doesn't have to be like that. Just because we're together, just because we're the last man and woman on Earth..." I struggle for words, something I don't think I've ever done before. "That doesn't mean you have to do anything you don't want to. I'm not the kind of man who would expect... You don't have to..."

"That's not what I mean," she mutters. "`Have to' is not what I'm talking about, and I don't think you're `that kind of man.' No. Of course not. It's just that-"

"Just that... ?" I ask.  
She tries to shake her head, but I'm still holding her chin tight between my fingers.

"Mel?" I ask. She doesn't answer.

She yanks free and shake her head fiercely.

I lean closer to her. "Will you talk to me? Please?" I murmur.

"If I got to pick anyone, anyone at all, to be stranded on a deserted planet with, it would be you," she whispers. The sun between us burns hotter. "I always want to be with you. And not just... not just to talk to. When you touch me..." her fingers brush lightly along the warm skin of my arm, and it feels like the flames are flowing from their tips now. My arm tightens around her. Does she feel the fire? "I don't want you to stop" "If you don't feel the same way, I understand. Maybe it isn't the same for you. That's okay."

"Oh, Mel," I sigh in ear, and I pull her face around to meet mine. More flames in her lips, fiercer than the others, blistering. My hands are in her hair. I can't breath. I don't want to breath.

I move my lips to her ear, and I hold her face when she tries to find them again.

"It was a miracle-more than a miracle-when I found you, Melanie. Right now, if I was given the choice between having the world back and having you, I wouldn't be able to give you up. Not to save five billion lives."

"That's wrong."

"Very wrong but very true."

"Jared," she breathes. She tries to reach for my lips again. I pull away, I still have something to say.

"But..."

"But?" she repeats.

"But you're seventeen, Melanie. And I'm twenty-six."

"What's that got to do with anything?"

I don't answer. My hands stroke her arms slowly, painting them with fire.

"You've got to be kidding me." she leans back to search my face. "You're going to worry about conventions when we're past the end of the world?"  
I swallow loudly before I can speak. "Most conventions exist for a reason, Mel. I would feel like a bad person, like I was taking advantage. You're very young."

"No one's young anymore. Anyone who's survived this long is ancient."

There's a smile pulling up one corner of my mouth. "Maybe you're right. But this isn't something we need to rush."

"What is there to wait for?" she demands.

I hesitate for a long moment, thinking.

"Well, for one thing, there are some... practical matters to consider."

I am searching for a distraction, trying to stall. She raises one eyebrow.

"See," I explain, hesitating. I might be blushing. "When I was stocking this place, I wasn't much planning for... guests. What I mean is..." The rest comes out in a rush. "Birth control was pretty much the last thing on my mind."

Her forehead creases. "Oh."

The smile is gone from my face, "This isn't the kind of world I'd want to bring a child into." I think of my child being taken and having a soul inserted into it. My jaw tightens in anger. She stares at me.

"Besides, we've got plenty of time to... think about this." I'm stalling again "Do you realize how very, very little time we've been together so far? It's been just four weeks since we found each other."

Her face reads shocked. "That can't be."

"Twenty-nine days. I'm counting."

"We've got time," I say again.

I watch the change on her face with worried eyes.

"You don't know that." I continue to look at her, trying to figure out what she is thinking.

"You can't know how much time we'll have. You don't know if we should be counting in months or days or hours."

I laugh a warm laugh, touching my lips to the tense place where her eyebrows pull together. "Don't worry, Mel. Miracles don't work that way. I'll never lose you. I'll never let you get away from me."

He brought me back to the present-to the thin ribbon of the highway winding through the Arizona wasteland, baking under the fierce noon sun-without my choosing to return. I stared at the empty place ahead and felt the empty place inside.

Her thought sighed faintly in my head: You never know how much time you'll have.

The tears I was crying belonged to both of us.

* * *

It's been almost four and half years since I have seen her. She fills my dreams every night. Every memorized feeling of touching her still flows through my head.

"C'mon Iri why do this to yourself?" Ginny asks sitting next to me. We have been able to hide from the souls for four years. Jared showed me his cabin. That has been our home, even though it hurts from all the memories in it.

"Do what?" I ask her. I didn't realize I was zoning off while driving.

"The past four years we have been driving along the same road with you looking for anything that points you to find Melanie" Ginny says gesturing to our surroundings.

"I know I can't help it" I admit. She looks a t me worriedly.

"You can't or Jared can't?" she asks. I don't look at her.

"Does it matter?" I ask her back.

"Apparently not" sh says. Jared and i have become one in our thoughts these past years. He has helped alot with Rosie. It hasn't been easy. I had no idea about kids, especially one with a disablility.

She has lost sixty percent of her hearing. Jared insisted after we escaped to somehow find a way to teach her sign language. It wasn't easy. We had to search long a hard for books. They weren't needed anymore. I told the girl at the bookstore I wanted to learn a foreign language. She looked at for a second the rang it up. We are lucky souls aren't suspious.

I drove quickly through the I-10 junction as the sun fell behind me. I didn't see much besides the white and yellow lines on the pavement, and the occasional big green sign pointing me farther east.

If I could find a way, I would keep Melanie out of the Seeker's hands. It would be very hard. No, it would be impossible.

I would try.

I promised him this, but he wasn't listening. He was still dreaming. Giving up, I thought, now that it was too late for giving up to help.

I tried to stay clear of the red canyon in his head, but I was there, too. No matter how hard I tried to see the cars zooming beside me, the shuttles gliding in toward the port, the few, fine clouds drifting overhead, I couldn't pull completely free of his dreams. I memorized Melanie's face from a thousand different angles. I watched Jamie shoot up in a sudden growth spurt, always skin and bones. My arms ached for them both-no, the feeling was sharper than an ache, blade-edged and violent. It was intolerable. I had to get out.

I drove almost blindly along the narrow two-lane freeway. The desert was, if anything, more monotonous and dead than before. Flatter, more colorless. I would make it to Tucson long before dinnertime. Dinner. I hadn't eaten yet today, and my stomach rumbled as I realized that.

I checked the map sitting on ginny's lap. Soon I would reach a little pit stop at a place called Picacho Peak. Maybe we would stop to eat something there.

As I thought of this unfamiliar name-Picacho Peak-there was a strange, stifled reaction from Jared. I couldn't make it out. Had he been here before? I searched for a memory, a sight or a smell that corresponded, but found nothing. Picacho Peak. Again, there was that spike of interest that Jared repressed. What did the words mean to him? He retreated into faraway memories, avoiding me.

This made me curious. I drove a little faster, wondering if the sight of the place would trigger something.

A solitary mountain peak-not massive by normal standards, but towering above the low, rough hills closer to me-was beginning to take shape on the horizon. It had an unusual, distinctive shape. Jared watched it grow as we traveled, pretending indifference to it.

Why did he pretend not to care when he so obviously did? I was disturbed by his strength when I tried to find out. I couldn't see any way around the old blank wall. It felt thicker than usual, though I'd thought it was almost gone.

I tried to ignore him, not wanting to think about that-that he was growing stronger. I watched the peak instead, tracing its shape against the pale, hot sky. There was something familiar about it. Something I was sure I recognized, even as I was positive that neither of us had been here before.

Almost as if he was trying to distract me, Jared plunged into a vivid memory of Melanie, catching me by surprise.

I place my hands on her shoulders. She doesn't jump.

"You're easy to sneak up on." I know she can hear the smile in my voice.

"I saw you coming before you took the first step," she says without turning. "I have eyes in the back of my head."

My fingers stroke her cold face from her temple to her chin, dragging fire along my skin.

"You look like a dryad hidden here in the trees," I whisper in her ear. "One of them. So beautiful that you must be fictional."

"We should plant more trees around the cabin."

I chuckle, and the sound makes her eyes close and her lips stretch into a grin.

"Not necessary," I say. "You always look that way."

"Says the last man on Earth to the last woman on Earth, on the eve of their separation."

Her smile fades as she speak. Smiles cannot last today.

I sigh.

"Jamie might resent that implication."

"Jamie's still a boy. Pleas be safe."

"I'll make you a deal," I offer. "You keep yourself safe, and I'll do my best. Otherwise, no deal."

"No matter what happens," she insists.

"Nothing's going to happen. Don't worry." The words are nearly meaningless. A waste of effort.

"Okay."

I pull her around to face me, and she leans her head against my chest.

"You and I won't lose each other," I promise. "I will always find you again." Being me, I cannot be completely serious for more than a heartbeat or two. "No matter how well you hide. I'm unstoppable at hide-and-seek."

"Will you give me to the count of ten?"

"Without peeking."

"You're on," she mumbles, trying to disguise the fact that her throat is thick with tears.

"Don't be afraid. You'll be fine. You're strong, you're fast, and you're smart" she is trying to convince herself.

Why am I leaving her? It's such a long shot that Jessica is still human.

But when I saw her face on the news, I was so sure.

It was just a normal raid, one of a thousand. As usual when we felt isolated enough, safe enough, we had the TV on as we cleaned out the pantry and fridge. Just to get the weather forecast; there isn't much entertainment in the dead-boring everything-is-perfect reports that pass for news among the parasites. It was the butterfly tattoo behind her right ear that caught my eye.

I can still see the look on her face as she peeked at the camera from the corner of one eye. The look that said, I'm trying to be invisible; don't see me. She walked not quite slowly enough, working too hard at keeping a casual pace. Trying desperately to blend in.

No body snatcher would feel that need.

What is Jessica doing walking around human in a huge city like Chicago? Are there others? Trying to find her doesn't even seem like a choice, really. If there is a chance there are more humans out there, we have to locate them.

And I have to go alone. Jessica will run from anyone but me-well, she will run from me, too, but maybe she will pause long enough for me to explain. I am sure I know her secret place.

"And you?" I ask her in a thick voice. I'm not sure I can physically bear this looming goodbye. "Will you be safe?" she nods unconvincingly.

"Neither heaven nor hell can keep me apart from you, Melanie." I tell her.

Without giving me a chance to catch my breath or wipe away the fresh tears, he threw another at me.

Jamie curls up under my arm-he doesn't fit as comfortably. He has to fold in on himself, his long, gangly limbs poking out in sharp angles. His arms are starting to turn hard and sinewy, but in this moment he's a child, shaking, cowering almost. Melanie is loading the car. Jamie would not show this fear in front of her. Jamie wants to be brave, to be like me.

"I'm scared," he whispers.

"You'll be fine with your sister." I have to sound brave, whether I feel that way or not.

"I know that. I'm scared for you. I'm scared you won't come back. Like my Dad."

"I'll come back. I always come back."

"I'm scared," he says again.

I have to be brave.

"I promise everything will be fine. I'm coming back. I promise. You know I won't break a promise, Jamie. Not to you."

The shaking slows. He believes me. He trusts me.

And another:

I can hear them on the floor below. They will find me in minutes, or seconds. I scrawl the words on a dirty shred of newsprint. They are nearly illegible, but if he finds them, he will understand:

Not fast enough. Love you love Melanie. Don't go home.

Not only do I break their hearts, I steal their refuge, too. I picture our little canyon home abandoned, as it must be forever now. Or if not abandoned, a tomb. I see my body leading the Seekers to it. My face smiling as we catch them there...

Enough, I said loudly in my head, cringing away from the whiplash of pain. Enough! You've made your point! I can't live without them either now. Does that make you happy? Because it doesn't leave me many choices, does it? Ugh!

_There is another choice_, Jared thought softly.

Really? I demanded with heavy sarcasm. Show me one.

_Look and see._

I was still staring at the mountain peak. It dominated the landscape, a sudden upthrust of rock surrounded by flat scrubland. His interest pulled my eyes over the outline, tracing the uneven two-pronged crest.

A slow, rough curve, then a sharp turn north, another sudden turn back the other way, twisting back to the north for a longer stretch, and then the abrupt southern decline that flattened out into another shallow curve.

Not north and south, the way I'd always seen the lines in her piecemeal memories; it was up and down.

The profile of a mountain peak.

The lines that led to Melanie and Jamie. This was the first line, the starting point.

I could find them.

_We could find them_, he corrected, _you don't know all the directions. Just like with the cabin, I never gave you everything._

I don't understand. Where does it lead? How does a mountain lead us? My pulse beat faster as I thought of it: Melanie was close. Jamie, within my reach.

He showed me the answer.

"They're just lines. And Uncle Jeb is just an old lunatic. A nut job, like the rest of my dad's family." she tries to tug the book out of my hands, but I barely seems to notice effort.

"A nut job, like Sharon's mom?" I counter, still studying the dark pencil marks that deface the back cover of the old photo album. It's the one thing haven't lost in all the running. Even the graffiti loony Uncle Jeb left on it during his last visit has sentimental value now.

"Point taken."

I interrupt her reminiscing. "Nut jobs are exactly the kind of people who will have survived. People who saw Big Brother when he wasn't there. People who suspected the rest of humanity before the rest of humanity turned dangerous. People with hiding places ready." grin, still study-ing the lines. And  
then my voice is heavier. "People like my father. If he and my brothers had hidden rather than fought... Well, they'd still be here."

Her tone is softer, hearing the pain in mine. "Okay, I agree with the theory. But these lines don't mean anything."

"Tell me again what he said when he drew them."

She sighs. "They were arguing-Uncle Jeb and my dad. Uncle Jeb was trying to convince him that something was wrong, telling him not to trust anyone. Dad laughed it off. Jeb grabbed the photo album from the end table and started... almostcarving the lines into the back cover with a pencil. Dad got mad, said my mom would be angry. Jeb said, `Linda's mom asked you all to come up for a visit, right? Kind of strange, out of the blue? Got a little upset when only Linda would come? Tell you the truth, Trev, I don't think Linda will be minding anything much when she gets back. Oh, she might act like it, but you'll be able to tell the difference.' It didn't make sense at the time, but what he said really upset my dad. He ordered Uncle Jeb out of the house. Jeb wouldn't leave at first. Kept warning us not to wait until it was too late. He grabbed my shoulder and pulled me into his side. `Don't let 'em get you, honey,' he whispered. `Follow the lines. Start at the beginning and follow the lines. Uncle Jeb'll keep a safe place for you.' That's when Dad shoved him out the door."

I nod absently, still studying. "The beginning... the beginning... It has to mean something."

"Does it? They're just squiggles, Jared. It's not like a map-they don't even connect."

"There's something about the first one, though. Something familiar. I could swear I've seen it somewhere before."

She sighs again. "Maybe he told Aunt Maggie. Maybe she got better directions."

"Maybe," I say, and continue to stare at Uncle Jeb's squiggles.

He points me another conversation.

"I sat in my father's lap with the same album-not so tattered then-open in my hands. We were on the first page"

"Do you remember where this is?" Dad asked me, pointing to the old gray picture at the top of the page. The paper looked thinner than the other photographs, as if it has worn down-flatter and flatter and flatter-since some great-great-grandpa took it.

"It's where we Stryders come from," I answered him, repeating what I've been taught. Melanie smiled as she recalled the memory. I stayed quiet and watched her.

"Right. That's the old Stryder ranch. You went there once, but I bet you don't remember it. I think you were eighteen months old." Dad laughs. "It's been Stryder land since the very beginning..."

She told me the memory of the picture itself. A picture she'd looked at a thousand times without ever seeing it. It was black and white, faded to grays. A small rustic wooden house, far away on the other side of a desert field; in the foreground, a split-rail fence; a few equine shapes between the fence and the house. And then, behind it all, the sharp, familiar profile...

There were words, a label, scrawled in pencil across the top white border:

Stryder Ranch, 1904, in the morning shadow of...

"Picacho Peak," I said quietly.

"What?" Ginny asks me.

"Huh? oh nothing. We should stop and get something to eat"

_I know Melanie will have put it together. She's smarter than me, and she has the picture; she probably saw the answer before I did. She could be so close..._

The thought had him so filled with yearning and excitement that the blank wall in my head slipped entirely.

I saw the whole journey now, saw his and Melanie's and Jamie's careful trek across the country, always by night in their inconspicuous stolen vehicle. It took weeks. I saw where he'd left them in a wooded preserve outside the city, so different from the empty desert they were used to. The cold forest where Melanie and Jamie would hide and wait had felt safer in some ways-because the branches were thick and concealing, unlike the spindly desert foliage that hid little-but also more dangerous in its unfamiliar smells and sounds.

Then the separation, a memory so painful we skipped through it, flinching. Next came the abandoned building he'd hidden in, watching the house across the street for his chance. There, concealed within the walls or in the secret basement, he hoped to find Jessica.

_I shouldn't have let you see that_, Jared thought. The faintness of his silent voice gave away his fatigue. The assault of memories, the persuasion and coercion, had tired him.

The mountain loomed larger ahead of us. In moments, we would be beneath it. I could see a little rest stop with a convenience store and a fast food restaurant bordered on one side by a flat, concrete space-a place for mobile homes. There were only a few in residence now, with the heat of the coming summer making things uncomfortable.

What now? I wondered. Stop for a late lunch or an early dinner? Fill my gas tank and then continue on back to the cabin and forget the whole thing?

The thought was so repellent that my jaw locked against the sudden heave of my empty stomach. I slammed on the brake reflexively, screeching to a stop in the middle of the lane. I was lucky; there were no cars to hit me from behind. There were also no drivers to stop and offer their help and concern. For this moment, the highway was empty. The sun beat down on the pavement, making it shimmer, disappear in places.

And yet I knew what I wanted, more powerfully and vividly than anything I had ever wanted in all the eight lives I'd lived. The image of Melanie's face danced behind my eyelids when I blinked against the sun-not Jared's memory this time, but my memory of his. He forced nothing on me now. I could barely feel him in my head as he waited.

I could not separate myself from this body's wants. It was me, more than I'd ever intended it to be. Did I want or did it want? Did that distinction even matter now?

In my rearview mirror, the glint of the sun off a distant car caught my eye.

I moved my foot to the accelerator, starting slowly toward the little store in the shadow of the peak. There was really only one thing to do.


	9. Chapter 10 Turned

**Contains parts of the Host. I do not own.**

**Hey sorry I decided to change the end a little.**

**Chapter 10 **

Turned

I pull into a small strip mall. A pizza place sits on the far end. Only two cars are in the parking lot.

"Cool pizza!" Kasher shouts.

"Piza" Rosie repeats. Kasher moves to open the van door.

"Wait everyone" I say. He stops and looks at me.

"Iri what is going on with you?" Ginny asks me.

"I think I know how to find Melanie" I tell her smiling. Her eyebrows come together in confusion.

"How?" she asks.

"Jared showed me a memory. They're close Gigi"

"What do you want to do?"

"I dont know"

"Do _you_ want to find her?" she ask me. I look out the car window at the mountains.

"I know Jared does"

"I'm not asking him. I'm asking _you_" she then says.

"Can we eat first?" Kasher asks cutting in. I smile back at him.

"Sure but hold on" I say opening the car door.

"What are you doing?" Ginny asks me walking out.

"We need to blend in" I tell her. I open the back of the van. The kids turn to see what I am doing.

There are four bags laying on the floor. I open one and pull out a white pair of pants.

"How did you get these?" Ginny asks pulling out a smaller white shirt.

"I was a Seeker" I tell her taking a white buton down shirt and suit jacket, white of course.

"You have Seeker clothes" Portia asks looking in the bags.

"Just in case. And since i am driving a Seeker car I need to look like one. Ginny here will pretend to be one too. Don't worry I have something for you too" I look around for any sign of on lookers.

I pull off my shirt and slide on the button down. I catch Portia and Penney eyeing me and i smile at them. Even Ginny tries to hide her glances. She then takes out a pair of womens pants and undresses too. Portia and Penney turn Kasher around and cover his eyes laughing. I pull the pants on and tuck in the shirt. It is too hot to be wearing pants, long sleeved shirt and jascket but that is how Seekers dress.

I open a different bag and dig through it. I find the small silver cases i was looking for. Ginny looks around.

"How will we explain four human kids?" she asks. I smile at her.

"Don't worry we have these" I say opening one of the cases.

"Contacts" Penney says.

"Soul looking contacts" I correct her.

"How did you get your hands of soul looking contacts?" Ginny asks me. I walk over to the side of the van and open the door. Penney sits closer. I carefully open the case. I hand her the case and she tilts her head back. I gently open her eys wide and slipe the contact in. She blinks the eye and turns to Kasher. He jumps a little.

"One of few benefits of beign a Seeker. They were found on a raid of a possible rebel cell hideout. No one was there but they left these in a hurry. I snatched them after" I say as I slide the other into her eye. I reach for a flashlight I keep in the car and shine it her eyes.

"They reflect"

"Cool. Me next" Portia says coming to the front.

"You're one strange soul." Kasher tells me. I smile and place the contacts in her eyes.

"I know" I say laughing. I toss the other case to Ginny who pulls Kasher towards her. He hesitates at first but then throws his head back.

"Okay Rosie your turn"

"Eyes" she says and signs.

"Yes Rosie eyes" I tell her. She doesn't fuss as I place the contact in her eye.

"This is so cool." Portia says looking in the rearview mirror.

"Now we can eat" I say as I place the other contact in her eye. She giggles. I pick her up from the carseat and shut the doors.

"Hello Seekers"

"Hello"

"Who are your guests?"

"Well this is my hosts biological daughter. As for these three they expressed in school they wanted to be Seekers. So the teacher asked if we wouldn't mind taking them out."

"How nice"

"It got late and they were hungry" Ginny

"It would be my pleasure to serve future Seekers"

"Thank you"

We sit down for a half an hour enjoying the extra large pepperoni pizza. Kasher eats so much Ginny thought he was going to explode. After we finished I took the kids back to the car.

"No one open the door except for us" I tell Portia. She nods and locks the door after I close it. Ginny and I walk to the next building which is a small convenience store.

The electric bell rang, announcing another visitor to the convenience store. I started guiltily and ducked my head behind the shelf of goods we were examining.

_Stop acting like a criminal_, Jared advised.

I'm not acting, I replied tersely. Ginny sensed my nervousness.

The palms of my hands felt cold under a thin sheen of sweat, though the small room was quite hot. The wide windows let in too much sun for the loud and laboring air-conditioning unit to keep up.

Which one? I demanded.

_The bigger one_, he told me.

I grabbed six of the larger pack of the two available, a canvas sling that looked well able to hold more than I could carry. Then I walked around the corner to where the bottled water was shelved.

_We can carry three gallons_, he decided. _The kids can carry their own except Rosie._ _That gives us three days to find them._

I took a deep breath, trying to tell myself that I wasn't going along with this. My awkward attempt to lie to myself was so pathetic that Jared didn't pay any attention to it, felt no worry at all. It must be too late for me, as the Seeker had warned.

_Too late? I wish!_ Jared grumbled. _I can't make you do anything you don't want to do. I can't even raise my hand!_ His thought was a moan of frustration.

I looked down at my hand, resting against my thigh rather than reaching for the water as he wanted to do so badly. I could feel his impatience, his almost desperate desire to be on the move. On the run again, just as if my existence were no more than a short interruption, a wasted season now behind him.

He gave the mental equivalent of a snort at that, and then he was back to business. _C'mon_, he urged me. _Let's get going! It will be dark soon._

With a sigh, I pulled the largest shrink-wrapped flat of water bottles from the shelf. I pointed to the water and Ginny grabbed one too.

"You're kidding me!" she exclaimed aloud.

"Excuse me?" a short, stooped man, the other customer, asked from the end of the aisle.

"Heavier than she thought"

"Would you like some help Seeker?" he offered.

"No, no," she answered hastily. "I'll just take a smaller one."

"Okay"

Ginny struggled with the flat of water, wondering how far she could possibly be expected to carry it. I managed to get it to the front register. With great relief, I edged its weight onto the counter. I put the bag on top of the water, and then added a box of granola bars, a roll of doughnuts, and a bag of chips from the closest display.

_Water is way more important than food in the desert, and we can only carry so much-_

The kids will get hungry, I interrupted. And these are light.

_They just ate. It's your back, I guess_, he said grudgingly, and then he ordered, _Get a map._

I placed the one he wanted, a topographical map of the county, on the counter with the rest. It was no more than a prop in his charade.

The cashier, a white-haired man with a ready smile, scanned the bar codes.

"Doing some hiking?" he asked pleasantly.

"The mountain is very beautiful."

"The trailhead is just up that -" he said, starting to gesture.

"I'll find it," I promised quickly, pulling the heavy, badly balanced load back off the counter.

"Head down before it gets dark, son. You don't want to get lost."

"I will."

Jared was thinking sulfurous thoughts about the kind old man.

He was being nice. He's sincerely concerned about my welfare, I reminded him.

_I hate when they call me son. You're all very creepy_, he told me acidly. _Didn't anyone ever tell you not to talk to strangers?_

I felt a deep tug of guilt as I answered. There are no strangers among my kind.

_I can't get used to not paying for things_, he said, changing the subject. _What's the point of scanning them?_

Inventory, of course. Is he supposed to remember everything we took when he needs to order more? Besides, what's the point of money when everyone is perfectly honest? I paused, feeling the guilt again so strongly that it was an actual pain. Everyone but me, of course.

Jared shied away from my feelings, worried by the depth of them, worried that I might change my mind. Instead he focused on his raging desire to be away from here, to be moving toward his objective. His anxiety leaked through to me, and I walked faster.

We carried the stacks to the car and set them on the ground beside the passenger door. Ginny nudged my side twitching her eyes to a woman staring at us. I smiled and tapped on the window of the car. Kasher jumps into the driver seat and unlocks the doors.

"What's that for?" Kasher asks seeing me and Ginny load the water.

"Jared told Iri how to find Melanie" Ginny tells him.

"And you believe him?" he then asks. I ignore his comment and point to the back seat. He huffs and jumps to the back.

I climbed into my seat and grabbed the bag of potato chips.

_Look at the map_, he said. _Wait till she's out of sight._

No one is watching us, I promised him. But, with a sigh, I unfolded the map and ate with one hand. It was probably a good idea to have some sense of where we were headed.

Where are we headed? I asked him. We've found the starting point, so what now?

_Look around_, he commanded. _If we can't see it here, we'll try the south side of the peak._

See what?

He placed the memorized image before me: a ragged zigzagging line, four tight switchbacks, the fifth point strangely blunt, like it was broken. Now I saw it as I should, a jagged range of four pointed mountain peaks with the broken-looking fifth...

I scanned the skyline, east to west across the northern horizon. It was so easy it felt false, as though I'd made the image up only after seeing the mountain silhouette that created the northeast line of the horizon.

_That's it_, Jared almost sang in his excitement. _Let's go!_ He wanted me to be out of the car, on my feet, moving.

I shook my head, bending over the map again. The mountain ridge was so far in the distance I couldn't guess at the miles between us and it. There was no way I was walking out of this parking lot and into the empty desert unless I had no other option.

"Sips" Rosie cries out. I hand the bag to her and she giggles. Her two front teeth are missing so she can't say things with 'ch'.

Let's be rational, I suggested, tracing my finger along a thin ribbon on the map, an unnamed road that connected to the freeway a few miles east and then continued in the general direction of the range.

_Sure_, he agreed complacently. _The faster the better. _

"Can I make a suggestion here guys?" Penney asks from the back. Ginny and I look at each other then back to her. She shifts a little with the attention on her.

"What about we go home and get some sleep. We can come early in the morning. And we can pack our things, saying if we do find them"

"She's right Jared. Iri what do you think?" Ginny asks us.

_I guess an early start makes sense._

"Jared thinks she is right too. An early start makes sense"

"Alright let's go home then" Ginny tells me.

_I will find you Mel, I promise._

We will find her. No matter what.


	10. Chapter 11 Endangered

**Wow! Over 800 views. Thank you to everyone who is taking the time to read this. It means a lot. And a special thanks to the few who have reviewd, favorite or followed it.**

**I can't take all of the credit. There wouldn't be a story if the incredibly talented SM hadn't written the Host. **

**She owns the original story and characters not me. I just add my own flare to it and the few new characters. **

**Chapter 11**

As to my word I got everyone up the morning. I really didn't have a choice. Once Jared was up, I was up.

As I stand from the bed I shake Kasher, who is smiling and drooling in his sleep.

_If the world hadn't eneded, this kid would have been one cassonva._

I roll my eyes and walk into the girls room. Rosie is cuddled in between Portia and Penney. Ginny is sprawled out on her own bed. I walk over to Rosie and move the hair in her face. Her eyes open and she smiles at me. She is definitely a morning person. Well, an any time person that is. I can't say the rest of them.

"Portia, Penney it is time to get up" one of them moans. Portia flips around covering her head with her pillow. Penney cracks open one eye to look at me then yawns. I walk over to Ginny. I pull the pillow from her face and shake her.

"Gigi wake up" I say as nicely as I can. I know she keeps a knife somewhere hidden just in case. Very unsoul like. She says her host is gone now but she has seemed to take on her personality. She can be very sweet and nurturing or she will slice your throat.

Speaking of knives she pulls one out from her pillow and points it at my throat.

"Give me a good reason not to cut you?"

"We need to get an early start"

Ginny looked like she wanted to take my head off. She looks out the window by her bed. Her eyes widen.

"The sun isn't even up yet!" she yells at me. While she is distracted I knock the knife from her hand and grab her in a choke hold. I hate violence.

"Jared says get your butt out of bed" I whisper in her ear.

"Bite me" she snaps and elbows me. I let go of her. She rubs her eyes and runs her hand through her hair. Her hosts habit.

"Everyone up!" I shout. Kasher then comes in the room, his eyes barely open. Portia and Penney laugh. He is still in his boxers. He mocks them and goes back to our room.

Within the hour we are packed and ready to go. We decided to stop at a local diner. The souls here know us by name, or should I say our fake names. Our story here is Flowers Under the Sea (Ginny) and I are partners. We take in young soul hosts to help them adapt to their new world. I hate lying too but I have gotten good at it according to Jared.

The waitresses usually greet us with the smile and the cooks already know what each of the kids likes. Today is different. It is very quiet when we walk in. No one looks at us. I clutch on to Rosie in my arms.

_Something isn't right here. _

"Iri, Gigi" Rosie giggles looking behind my shoulder. I turn to see a poster on the wall. I immediately see the words WANTED, Ginny and mines faces on it.

_Oh crap!_

I rip it from the wall. Ginny walks over and see it.

"Hey look, our favorite group" a waitress named Shining Snow says walking up. Her tone seems off to me. Kasher begins walking to our usual table. I grab his shoulder.

_We need to leave now._

"On second thought let's get going" I say as casually as I can. The two cooks look up at me.

"But I'm hungry" he let's out. I pull him back towards me.

"Now Flaming Tale" I order. I give him a look. He already knows I mean it. We slowly turn to the door and back to the car.

Once in the car I start the engine and take off.

"I didn't think they'd come this far out looking" I say as I drive away.

_She is one determined pest._

Ginny takes out the map we got yesterday and we make it to where we left off yesterday. I don't bother with the speed limit. I know the souls at the diner called the Seeker. We need to hurry. If it turns out to be nothing we'll need time to get somewhere to hide.

_It won't be nothing_

We found the unpaved road easily. It was just a pale scar of flat dirt through the sparse shrubbery, barely wide enough for one vehicle. I had a feeling that the road would be overgrown with lack of use in a different region-some place with more vital vegetation, unlike the desert plants that needed decades to recover from such a violation. There was a rusted chain stretched across the entrance, screwed into a wooden post on one end, looped loosely around another post at the other. I moved quickly, pulling the chain free and piling it at the base of the first post, hurrying back to my running car, hoping no one would pass and stop to offer me help. The highway stayed clear as I drove onto the dirt and then rushed back to refasten the chain.

We both relaxed when the pavement disappeared behind us. I was glad that there was apparently no one left I would have to lie to, whether with words or silence. Alone, I felt less of a renegade.

Jared was perfectly at home here in the middle of nothing. He knew the names of all the spiny plants around us. He hummed their names to himself, greeting them like old friends.

Creosote, ocotillo, cholla, prickly pear, mesquite...

Away from the highway, the trappings of civilization, the desert seemed to take on a new life for Jared. Though he appreciated the speed of the jolting car-our vehicle didn't have the shocks necessary for this off-road trip. Souls like their cars to be more for show than adventures in the desert. Jared itched to be on his feet, walking through the backing desert.

We would probably have to walk, and all too soon for my taste, but when that time came, I doubted it would satisfy him. I could feel the real desire beneath the surface. Freedom. To move his body to the familiar rhythm of his long stride with only his will for guidance. For a moment, I allowed myself to see the prison that was life without a body. To be carried inside but unable to influence the shape around you. To be trapped. To have no choices.

I shuddered and refocused on the rough road, trying to stave off the mingled pity and horror. No other host had made me feel such guilt for what I was. Of course, none of the others had stuck around to complain about the situation.

The sun was close to the tips of the western hills when we had our first disagreement. The long shadows created strange patterns across the road, making it hard to avoid the rocks and craters.

_There it is!_ Jared crowed as we caught sight of another formation farther east: a smooth wave of rock, interrupted by a sudden spur that swung a thin, long finger out against the sky.

He was all for turning immediately into the brush, no matter what that did to the car.

Maybe we're supposed to go all the way to the first landmark, I pointed out. The little dirt road continued to wind in more or less the right direction, and I was terrified to leave it. How else would I find my way back to civilization? Wasn't I going back?

I imagined the Seeker right at this moment, as the sun touched the dark, zigzagging line of the western horizon. A spasm of glee made me laugh out loud. Jared also enjoyed the picture of the Seeker's furious irritation. What steps would she take when I wasn't anywhere?

I just couldn't picture very clearly where I would be at that point.

_Look, a dry wash. It's wide enough for the car-let's follow it_, Jared insisted.

I'm not sure we're supposed to go that way yet.

_It will be dark soon and we'll have to stop. You're wasting time!_ He was silently shouting in his frustration.

Or saving time, if I'm right. Besides, it's my time, isn't it?

He didn't answer in words. He seemed to stretch inside my mind, reaching back toward the convenient wash.

I'm the one doing this, so I'm doing it my way.

Jared fumed wordlessly in response.

Why don't you show me the rest of the lines? I suggested. We could see if anything is visible before night falls.

_No_, he snapped. _I'll do that part my way._

You're being childish.

Again he refused to answer. I continued toward the four sharp peaks, and he sulked.

"Are you sure he knows where he is going?" Kasher asks from behnd my seat. He leans against my seat.

"He is sure" Ginny tells him. He sighs and sits back.

"How could Melanie and Jamie make it our here on their own?" Portia asks staring at the wasteland.

"Hey they made it! Melanie is smart and resourceful. I know she made it. She had to" Jared shouts. All are quiet. He has never taken control like that before.

"I'm sorry Jared" Portia she apologizes.

_Dang it. Tell the kid I'm sorry. I didn't mean too. _I slow the car to a stop.

"No Portia. Jared says he's sorry. He shouldn't have yelled at you"

Suddenly there was a loud pop click as I let the car roll forward.

_Stop!_

"Iri what was that?" Penney asks nervously.

"I don't know"

_Put the car in park for a second. _I do as he says. the urgency in his voice startles me.

Jared what is going on?

_Um...I'm not really sure but if I was to guess i would say we are sitting on a land mine_

"What!" I shout.

"What did he say?" Ginny asks me staring woriedly at my face.

"He thinks we are on a land mine"

"What do we do then?" Ginny asks quickly.

_Well if it is one then it could be very old and won't explode._

How do we know for sure?

_One way really._

Great.

"Hold on. There is only one way to know for sure"

"Iri" Ginny says looking at me. I rub her cheek and turn around to look at the others.

_Hey Iri I just want to say I'm sorry for bring us out here. I love you all. And I'm sorry._

It's okay. I wanted to find her just as much as you wanted too. I love you too man. You've become like a brother I never had.

"Jared says he is sorry for bring us out here and he loves you all"

"We love you too Jared" the kids say together.

"Okay let's do this" I say. I take a ddep breath and put the car in drive. I ease my foot off the break and the car slowly inches forward. I squeeze my eyes shut. I feel as if Jared does the same. There is another click as the tire rolls off the mine. Then...nothing.

I open my eyes and look ahead. We're still alive. I laugh out loud. I hear the others scream.

_Oh thank god, _Jared let's out.

"So much for your..." I begin to say but I am cut off by another click. I look at Ginny then...BOOM!

**Sorry for the cliff hanger I couldn't resist. You'll have to wait for the next chapter. Are Iridescents and the kids all right? Will they ever find Melanie or will the Seeker find them first? Stay tuned.**


	11. Chapter 12 Failed

**I wasn't proud of how the chapter came out so I decided to add some more to it. Flashback will be in BOLD**

**I do not own the Host**

**Chapter 12**

Failed

When the sun disappeared behind the hills, night washed across the landscape abruptly; one minute the desert was sunset orange, and then it was black.

**Immediately as her fingers touch the back of my neck I feel her lips stop.**

_**Crap, my neck.**_

**She begins screaming at the top of her lungs. I grab hold of her arms before she can run away again. I don't want to lose her. **

**In the distance I see lights brightening the black houses. _Great they're waking up._**

**I use my left arm to pull her close and my right to cover her mouth. **

**"Shh" I tell her. I look to the closest house. Her eyes follow and widen at seeing the lights. She tries to wiggle away. I pick her up and run for a large tree. She is still trying to get away. I push her against the tree so no one can see her.**

**"Melanie" i say. She stops moving at the sound of her own name. I look into her eyes.**

**"You need to be quiet or we are both dead. Okay" I tell her. She nods her head. **

**"Now if I take my hand away will you scream?" I then ask.**

**She shakes her head no. I smile. I slowly remove my hand from her mouth, still keeping it close in case she lied.**

**To my surprise she doesn't scream. I look around her to see if any of the parasites have come out.**

**"I'm sorry I screamed" she whispers. I look at her.**

**"It's okay. I would have done the same thing. Well maybe not the exact but you had the right to react like that" I say trying to add so humor to the situation.**

**"Can I see it? The scar" she asks me. I hand her my flashlight and turn my head my arm still keeping her close to the tree. I feel her tip toe, slightly brushing against me. Her warm breath on my neck. I hear her suck in a breath. I expect her to knee me again and take off but instead her fingers are on the scar, tracing it leaving a line of fire on my skin.**

**"It's more noticeable than theirs" she says "Not as clean"**

**"You try doing it to yourself" I say smiling. She smiles back. I still have my arm around her back. **

**I lean again to look around he tree. none of the parasites have come out of their houses, which is good. This can also mean they called the Seekers.**

**"Okay the coast looks clear. No one came out but it doesn't mean they didn't call the Seekers"**

**I lean back and she is looking at me as if I am not real.**

**"I'm going to go get my bag and some more food. Will you wait here, please"**

**If she leaves I will never find her again. I just hope the idea of more food and a ride to her brother will keep her here.**

**She nods again. "Yes" **

**I move my hand away from her back, my fingers grazing her hips. I look at her one more time, hoping it isn't the last time.**

**She is so beautiful. Regardless of her being the only other human left alive out here. Long brown hair flows past her shoulders. Even though I know she can't have washed it recently, it's still soft to the touch. She's tall and tan and lean. Her lips are soft and pink from being kissed. Her hazel eyes are wide and full of fear and... hope.**

**I know, she'll be here when I get back.**

It felt like a millenia ago. I can still remember what it felt like to hold her close, the softness of her hair, her lips on mine. I can also still hear her scream. Or at least i think it is her scream.

"Okay let's do this" I say. I take a deep breath and put the car in drive. I ease my foot off the break and the car slowly inches forward. I squeeze my eyes shut. I feel as if Jared does the same. There is another click as the tire rolls off the mine. Then...nothing.

I open my eyes and look ahead. We're still alive. I laugh out loud. I hear the others scream.

_Oh thank god, _Jared let's out.

"So much for your..." I begin to say but I am cut off by another click. I look at Ginny then..._BOOM!_

I can only see a bright light in front of me. The only thing I hear is a metal ripping and the smell of oil. I feel the car as it lifts into the air and comes crashing down. I taste metallic in my mouth as everything spins and then. Black.

* * *

I begin to feel the pain, its everywhere. My leg feels like it is broken in half and my head is spinning. I feel like I have vertigo. I move my fingers to feel soft material under them.

Are we dead? I can't see anything.

_Since you're thinking, I guess the answer is no, we are not dead, not yet anyway. As for not seeing it might be dark out now._

I touch my head and warm liquid coats my fingers. I slowed, my hand fumbling around the dashboard, searching for the switch for the headlights.

_Have you lost your mind?_ Jared hissed tiredly. _Do you have any idea how visible headlights would be out here? Someone is sure to see us._

Isn't that the point?

_Not if the wrong people find us._ He sounds exhausted.

At least someone would. We wouldn't die like this, i tell him. Thinking makes my head hurt more. Or it might be because we are upside down, blood rushing to our heads.

"Iri" Ginny says tiredly. I try to look for her but I can't see her.

I reack my arms out. they feel like noodles. I pull them to my lap looking for the seat buckle. I finally find it and come crashing to the ground. I let out a loud moan of pain. I can't feel my left leg. I drag it behind me as I crawl in the car. I wish I could see them. See if they are alright. But I can't. My arms give out under my weight and I drop on my back.

"Ginny...Rosie...Portia, Pen...Kash" I name out feeling tired. I try to move, my body feeling numb.

_Don't...don't...go._..to...sleep, Jared tries to warn. That is our last conversation as we drift into the black, not death but nothingness.

It was dark and silent for a timeless space. Then there was a sound.

It barely roused us. We weren't sure if we imagined it. Maybe it was the Seeker. Did we want that? We didn't know. We lost our train of thought and forgot the sound.

Something shook us, pulled our numb arms, dragged at them. We couldn't form the words to wish that it would be quick now, but that was our hope. We waited for the evil laugh or the sound of a gun. Instead, the dragging turned to pushing, and we felt our face roll toward the sky.

It poured over our face-wet, cool, and impossible. It dribbled over our eyes, washing the grit from them. Our eyes fluttered, blinking against the dripping.

We did not care about the grit in our eyes. Our chin arched up, desperately searching, our mouth opening and closing with blind, pathetic weakness, like a newly hatched bird.

We thought we heard a sigh.

And then the water flowed into our mouth, and we gulped at it and choked on it. The water vanished while we choked, and our weak hands grasped out for it. A flat, heavy thumping pounded our back until we could breathe. Our hands kept clutching the air, looking for the water.

We definitely heard a sigh this time.

Something pressed to our cracked lips, and the water flowed again. We guzzled, careful not to inhale it this time. Not that we cared if we choked, but we did not want the water taken away again.

We drank until our belly stretched and ached. The water trickled to a stop, and we cried out hoarsely in protest. Another rim was pressed to our lips but we pushed it away.

We blinked and tried to focus, to see if we could find them. It was too dark; we could not see a single star. And then we blinked again and realized that the darkness was much closer than the sky. A figure hovered over us, blacker than the night.

There was a low sound of fabric rubbing against itself and sand shifting under a heel. The figure leaned away, and we heard a sharp rip-the sound of a zipper, deafening in the absolute stillness of the night.

Like a blade, light cut into our eyes. We moaned at the pain of it, and our hand flew up to cover our closed eyes. Even behind our lids, the light was too bright. The light disappeared, and we felt the breath of the next sigh hit our face.

We opened our eyes carefully, more blind than before. Whoever faced us sat very still and said nothing. We began to feel the tension of the moment, but it felt far away, outside ourself. It was hard to care about anything but the water in our belly and where we could find more. We tried to concentrate, to see what had rescued us.

The first thing we could make out, after minutes of blinking and squinting, was the thick whiteness that fell from the dark face, a million splinters of pale in the night. When we grasped that this was a beard-like Santa Claus, we thought chaotically-the other pieces of the face were supplied by our memory. Everything fit into place: the big cleft-tipped nose, the wide cheekbones, the thick white brows, the eyes set deep into the wrinkled fabric of skin. Though we could see only hints of each feature, we knew how light would expose them.

"Uncle Jeb," we croaked in surprise.

"Well, now," he said, his voice gruff. "Well, now, here's a pickle."


	12. Chapter 13 Sentenced

**Long chapter**

**Sorry for any mistakes.**

**I do not own the Host or its characters.**

**Chapter 13**

Sentenced

"Jeb Stryder" I say unsurely.

"How do you know my name son?" he asks me. Suspicion clearly in his voice.

_Can you blame him?_

No but the question is can we trust him?

_I say yes._

"I was with Mel and Jamie. I had to leave them to find our sister. We were caught..." I feel like if I still had some water in my body I would cry.

"Relax son"

_Ask him about the others._

"Wait where are the others?" I ask. He gives me a confused look.

"Others?" he repeats.

"The kids!" I shout trying to sit up. His eyes widen for a milisecond then narrow again.

"Oh they're fine. A little beaten up but fine" he pushes me back down.

"Good." I say happily.

_Tell him not to hurt them._

I would have to tell him they're human.

It's_ safer for them if they are human._

"Don't hurt them" I then say.

"Why?" he asks, this time in curiousity.

"They're human like you"

"Who says I'm human?"

"Mel said you'd never get caught. You're too smart to"

"Did she now" I can hear a smile in his voice.

"Yes. Please don't hurt the kids"

"And why should I believe you?"

"Just look at their eyes" we beg.

"We did" he answers quickly.

"No. They have contacts on" I raise my voice. It hurts to speak.

"What? How?"

"I got them from..." I begin coughing.

_Don't mention you being a Seeker._

If he doesn't already suspect it.

"I promise I won't let anything happen to them"

"Thank you. Where's Ginny?"

"Who?"

"The other soul"

"The red head?" he asks.

"Yes"

"Don't worry she is right there next to you" I try to look at her but it is too dark.

"Is she your...?" he begins. I lnow what he is goign to ask.

"We escaped together"

"Escaped?"

"From my Seeker. She wanted to take us out and send us away. We escaped with the kids four years ago"

"Is that so?"

_He doesnt't believe us._

Would you?

_No._

"Are they here?" We choked out the words-they burst from us like the water in our lungs had, expelled. After water, this question was all that mattered now. "Did they make it?"

Jeb's face was impossible to read in the darkness. "Who?" he asked.

"Melanie, Jamie!" Our whisper burned like a shout. "Melanie was with Jamie. My Mel! Are they here? Did they come? Did you find them, too?"

There was barely a pause.

"No." His answer was forceful, and there was no pity in it, no feeling at all.

"No," we whispered. We were not echoing him, we were protesting against getting our life back. What was the point? We closed our eyes again and listened to the pain in our body. We let that drown out the pain in our mind.

"Look," Jeb said after a moment. "I, uh, have something to take care of. You rest for a bit, and I'll be back for you."

We didn't hear the meaning in his words, just the sounds. Our eyes stayed closed. His footsteps crunched quietly away from us. We couldn't tell which direction he went. We didn't care anyway.

They were gone. There was no way to find them, no hope. Melanie and Jamie had disappeared, something they knew well how to do, and we would never see them again.

The water and the cooler night air were making us lucid, something we did not want. We rolled over, to bury our face against the sand again. We were so tired, past the point of exhaustion and into some deeper, more painful state. Surely we could sleep. All we had to do was not think. We could do that.

We did.

When we woke, it was still night, but dawn was threatening on the eastern horizon-the mountains were lined with dull red. Our mouth tasted of dust, and at first we were sure that we had dreamed Jeb's appearance. Of course we had.

Our head was clearer this morning, and we noticed quickly the strange shape near our right cheek-something that was not a rock or a cactus. We touched it, and it was hard and smooth. We nudged it, and the delicious sound of sloshing water came from inside.

Jeb was real, and he'd left us a canteen.

We sat up carefully, surprised when we didn't break in two like a withered stick. Actually, we felt better. The water must have had time to work its way through some of our body. The pain was dull, and for the first time in a long while, we felt hungry again.

Our fingers were stiff and clumsy as we twisted the cap from the top of the canteen. It wasn't all the way full, but there was enough water to stretch the walls of our belly again-it must have shrunk. I gulped down twice. I looked over to see Ginny laying beside me. I gently lifted her head like Jeb did for me. She didn't choke like me as she drank the rest of the water.

"We're alive" she says, her voice hoarse. I rub her head. She lays back down.

We dropped the metal canteen to the sand, where it made a dull thud in the predawn silence. We felt wide awake now. We sighed, preferring unconsciousness, and let our head fall into our hands. What now?

"Why did you give it water, Jeb?" an angry voice demanded, close behind our back.

We whirled, twisting onto our knees. We let out a cry of pain that was shooting from our leg. Ginny jumped awake. Jared wanted to see who had spoken. What we saw made our heart falter and our awareness splinter apart.

There were eight humans half-circled around where I knelt under the tree. There was no question they were humans, all of them. I'd never seen faces contorted into such expressions-not on my kind. These lips twisted with hatred, pulled back over clenched teeth like wild animals. These brows pulled low over eyes that burned with fury.

Six men and two women, some of them very big. I felt the blood drain from my face as I realized why they held their hands so oddly-gripped tightly in front of them, each balancing an object. They held weapons. Some held blades-a few short ones like those I had kept in my kitchen, and some longer, one huge and menacing. This knife had no purpose in a kitchen. Jared supplied the name: a machete.

Others held long bars, some metal, some wooden. Clubs.

I recognized Jeb in their midst. Held loosely in his hands was an object I'd never seen in person, only in Jared's memories, like the big knife. It was a rifle.

I saw horror, but Jared saw all this with wonder, his mind boggling at their numbers. Eight human survivors. He'd thought Jeb was alone or, in the best case scenario, with only two others. To see so many of his kind alive filled him with joy.

You're an idiot, I told him. Look at them. See them.

I forced him to see it from my perspective: to see the threatening shapes inside the dirty jeans and light cotton shirts, brown with dust. They might have been human-as he thought of the word-once, but at this moment they were something else. They were barbarians, monsters. They hung over us, slavering for blood.

There was a death sentence in every pair of eyes.

Jared saw all this and, though grudgingly, he had to admit that I was right. At this moment, his beloved humans were at their worst. We were looking at killers.

_We should have been wiser; we should have died yesterday._

Why would Jeb keep us alive for this?

A shiver passed through me at the thought. I'd skimmed through the histories of human atrocities. I'd had no stomach for them. Perhaps I should have concentrated better. I knew there were reasons why humans let their enemies live, for a little while. Things they wanted from their minds or their bodies...

Of course it sprang into my head immediately-the one secret they would want from me. The one I could never, never tell them. No matter what they did to me. I would have to kill myself first.

I did not let Jared see the secret I protected. I used his own defenses against him and threw up a wall in my head to hide behind while I thought of the information for the first time since implantation. There had been no reason to think of it before.

Jared was hardly even curious on the other side of the wall; he made no effort to break through it. There were much more immediate concerns than the fact that he had not been the only one keeping information in reserve.

Did it matter that I protected my secret from him? I wasn't as strong as Jared; I had no doubt he could endure torture. How much pain could I stand before I gave them anything they wanted?

My stomach heaved. Suicide was a repugnant option-worse because it would be murder, too. Jared would be part of either torture or death. I would wait for that until I had absolutely no other choice.

_No, they can't. Jeb would never let them hurt me._

Jeb doesn't even know you, I reminded him.

I focused on the old man's face. The thick white beard kept me from seeing the set of his mouth, but his eyes did not seem to burn like the others'. From the corner of my eye, I could see a few of the men shift their gaze from me to him. They were waiting for him to answer the question that had alerted me to their presence. Uncle Jeb stared at me, ignoring them.

They must already know I'm a Seeker. i'm dressed like one, I drove one of their cars. They must have experience enough to know that only a Seeker would come out here with a lie, a story designed for infiltration.

Jared recognized the truth of my thought at once. The very word Seeker made him recoil with hatred, and he knew these strangers would have the same reaction.

It doesn't matter anyway. I'm a soul-that's enough for them.

The one with the machete-the biggest man there, blonde-haired with oddly fair skin and shining gray eyes-made a sound of disgust and spit on the ground. He took a step forward, slowly raising the long blade.

Better fast than slow. Better that it was this brutal hand and not mine that killed us. Better that I didn't die a creature of violence, accountable for Jared's blood as well as my own.

"Hold it, Kyle." Jeb's words were unhurried, almost casual, but the big man stopped. He grimaced and turned to face Melanie's uncle.

"Why? You said you made sure. It's one of them."

I recognized the voice-he was the same one who'd asked Jeb why he'd given me water.

"Well, yes, he surely is. But it's a little complicated."

"How?" A different man asked the question. He stood next to the big, dark-haired Kyle, and they looked so much alike that they had to be brothers.

"See, it knew my niece and nephew. They were...friends"

"Not anymore" a high pitched voice says. I look to the body that said it. It was a girl. She is very petite, smaller then Ginny. She had a halo of blonde curls all around her and grey eyes. She had similar features like Kyle. They must be siblings.

"It doesn't matter," Kyle said flatly. He spit again and took another deliberate step in my direction, knife ready. I could see from the way his shoulders leaned into the action that words would not stop him again. I pulled Ginny behind me and closed my eyes.

There were two sharp metallic clicks, and someone gasped. My eyes flew open again.

"I said hold it, Kyle." Jeb's voice was still relaxed, but the long rifle was gripped tightly in his hands now, and the barrels were pointed at Kyle's back. Kyle was frozen just steps from me; his machete hung motionless in the air above his shoulder.

"Jeb," the girl said, horrified, "What are you doing?"

"Step away from them, Kyle."

Kyle turned his back to us, whirling on Jeb in fury. "They aren't people, Jeb!"

Jeb shrugged; the gun stayed steady in his hands, pointed at Kyle. "There are things to be discussed."

"The doctor might be able to learn something from it," a female voice offered gruffly.

I cringed at the words, hearing in them my worst fears. When Jeb had called me his niece just now, I'd foolishly let a spark of hope flame to life-perhaps there would be pity. I'd been stupid to think that, even for a second. Death would be the only pity I could hope for from these creatures.

I looked at the woman who'd spoken, surprised to see that she was as old as Jeb, maybe older. Her hair was dark gray rather than white, which is why I hadn't noticed her age before. Her face was a mass of wrinkles, all of them turning down into angry lines. But there was something familiar about the features behind the lines.

Jared made the connection between this ancient face and another, smoother face from a picture in his memory.

"You're Melanie's aunt Maggie? You're here? How -" The words were all Jared, but they gushed from my mouth, and I was unable to stop them. Sharing for so long in the desert had made him stronger, or me weaker. Or maybe it was just that I was concentrating on which direction the deathblow was going to fall from. I was bracing for our murder, and he was having a family reunion.

Jared got only halfway through his surprised exclamation. The much-aged woman named Maggie lunged forward with a speed that belied her brittle exterior. She didn't raise the hand that held the black crowbar. That was the hand I was watching, so I didn't see her free hand swing out to slap me hard across the face.

My head snapped back and then forward. She slapped me again.

"You won't fool us, you parasite. We know how you work. We know how well you can mimic us."

I tasted blood inside my cheek. I raised my eyes to her in fury. Hers widened. I spit the blood out my her feet.

Don't do that again, I scolded Jared. I told you what they'd think.

Jared was too shocked to answer.

"Now, Maggie," Jeb began in a soothing tone.

"Don't you 'Now, Maggie' me, you old fool! He's a Seeker. He's probably led a legion of them down on us." She backed away from me, her eyes measuring my stillness as if I were a coiled snake. She stopped beside her brother.

"I don't see anyone," Jeb retorted. "Hey!" he yelled, and I flinched in surprise. I wasn't the only one. Jeb waved his left hand over his head, the gun still clenched in the right. "Over here!"

"Shut up," Maggie growled, shoving his chest. Though I had good reason to know she was strong, Jeb didn't wobble.

"He was pretty much dead when I found him, Mag. Heck he's not in such great shape now. The centipedes don't sacrifice their own that way. They would have come for him much sooner than I did. Whatever else he is, he's alone."

I saw the image of the long, many-legged insect in my head, but I didn't make the connection.

He's talking about you, Jared translated. He placed the picture of the ugly bug next to my memory of a bright silver soul. I didn't see a resemblance.

_I wonder how he knows what you look like_, Jared wondered absently. My memories of a soul's true appearance had been new to him in the beginning.

I didn't have time to wonder with him. Jeb was walking toward me, and the others were close behind. Kyle's hand hovered at Jeb's shoulder, ready to restrain him or throw him out of the way, I couldn't tell.

Jeb put his gun in his left hand and extended the right to me. I eyed it warily, waiting for it to hit me.

"C'mon," he urged gently. "If I could carry you that far, I woulda brought you home last night. You're gonna have to walk some more."

"No!" Kyle grunted.

"I'm takin' 'em back," Jeb said, and for the first time there was a harsher tone to his voice. Under his beard, his jaw flexed into a stubborn line.

"Jeb!" Maggie protested.

"'S my place, Mag. I'll do what I want."

"Old fool!" she snapped again.

"I can't" I tell him, looking at my leg.

"I figure much. Aaron bring the stretcher" Jeb calls out. Another man comes towing a long object laying it near me.

Jeb yanked me onto the object. It was not cruelty; it was merely as if he was in a hurry. Yet was it not the very worst form of cruelty to prolong my life for the reasons he had?

I rocked unsteadily. I couldn't feel my legs very well-just prickles like needle points as the blood flowed down.

There was a hiss of disapproval behind him. It came from more than one mouth.

"Okay, whoever you are," he said to me, his voice still kind. "Let's get out of here before it heats up."

The one who must have been Kyle's sister put his hand on Jeb's arm.

"You can't just show it where we live, Jeb."

"I suppose it doesn't matter," Maggie said harshly. "It won't get a chance to tell tales."

"I'll take care of that" the man Kyle says taking Jeb's gun and comes at me. I feel a sharp pain and then it is black again.

I wasn't out for long. The pain in my leg brought me back. I just layed there not wanting them to hit me again. No one spoke at first-there was just the sound of sand grinding under many feet. The ground was even, but I felt every dip under me.

I felt the sun rise as they walked. Some of the footsteps were faster than others. They moved ahead of us until they were hard to hear. It sounded like it was the minority that stayed with Jeb and me. I must not have looked like I needed many guards-I was faint with hunger, and they thought I was out.

"You aren't planning to tell her, are you?"

It was Maggie's voice; it came from a few feet behind me, and it sounded like an accusation.

"She's got a right to know," Jeb replied. The stubborn note was back in his voice.

"It's an unkind thing you are doing, Jebediah."

"Life is unkind, Magnolia."

It was hard to decide who was the more terrifying of the two. Was it Jeb, who seemed so intent on keeping me alive? Or Maggie, who had first suggested the doctor-an appellation that filled me with instinctive, nauseated dread-but who seemed more worried about cruelty than her brother?

We walked in silence again for a few hours.

"Why are you doing this, Jeb?" a girl asked. I'd heard the voice before; it was Kyle's. "For Doc? You could have just told Kyle that. You didn't have to pull a gun on him."

"Kyle needs a gun pulled on him more often," Jeb muttered.

"Please tell me this wasn't about sympathy," the girl continued. "After all you've seen..."

"After all I've seen, if I hadn't learned compassion, I wouldn't be worth much. But no, it was not about sympathy. If I had enough sympathy for this poor creature, I would have let him die."

I shivered in the oven-hot air.

"What, then?" Kyle's sister demanded.

"Curiosity," Jeb said in a low voice.

No one replied.

As they walked, I considered a few sure facts. One, I was not the first soul they'd captured. There was already a set routine here. This "Doc" had tried to get his answer from others before me.

Two, he had tried unsuccessfully. If any soul had forgone suicide only to crack under the humans' torture, they would not need me now. My death would have been mercifully swift.

Oddly, I couldn't bring myself to hope for a quick end, though, or to try to effect that outcome. It would be easy to do, even without doing the deed myself. I would only have to tell them a little lie-pretend to be a Seeker, tell them my colleagues were tracking me right now, bluster and threaten. Or tell them the truth-that Jared lived on inside me, and that he had brought me here.

They would see another lie, and one so richly irresistible-the idea that the human could live on after implantation-so tempting to believe from their perspective, so insidious, that they would believe I was a Seeker more surely than if I claimed it. They would assume a trap, get rid of me quickly, and find a new place to hide, far away from here.

_You're probably right_, Jared agreed. _It's what I would do._

But I wasn't in pain yet, and so either form of suicide was hard to embrace; my instinct for survival sealed my lips.

Last night Jared and I had wished for death, but death had been only inches away at the time. It was different now that I was on my feet again.

_I don't want to die, either_, Jared whispered. But maybe you're wrong. Maybe that's not why they're keeping us alive. I don't understand why they would... He didn't want to imagine the things they might do to us-I was sure he could come up with worse than I. _What answer would they want from you that bad?_

I'll never tell. Not you, not any human.

A bold declaration. But then, I wasn't in pain yet...

Another hour had passed-the sun was directly overhead, the heat of it like a crown of fire on my hair-when the sound changed. The grinding steps that I barely heard anymore turned to echoes ahead of me. Jeb's feet still crunched against the sand, but someone in front of us had reached a new terrain.

He guided me forward again, and I heard his footsteps make the same echoing sound. The ground didn't give like sand, didn't feel loose like rock. It was flat and solid beneath my feet.

The sun was gone-I could no longer feel it burn my skin or scorch my hair.

He took another step, and a new air touched my face. It was not a breeze. This was stagnant-I moved into it. The dry desert wind was gone. This air was still and cooler. There was the faintest hint of moisture to it, a mustiness that I could both smell and taste.

There were so many questions in my mind, and in Jared's. He wanted to ask his, but I kept silent. There was nothing either of us could say that would help us now.

Even with my eyes closed, I could tell that there was no light. It was utterly black around the edges of the bandanna. I could hear the others behind me, shuffling their feet impatiently, waiting for us to move forward.

Someone grabbed the other end of the 'stretcher' Jeb called it.

They went a few steps farther, and then they rounded a sharp curve that seemed to turn us back the way we'd come. The ground started to slant downward. The angle got steeper with every step, and Jeb made sure I wouldn't fall off. I'm not so sure of the other person carrying me.

We took another turn, and then the floor started to climb upward. My legs were so numb from laying down. I felt bad Jeb and whoever else had to half drag me up the incline. The air got mustier and moister the farther we went, but the blackness didn't change. The only sounds were our footsteps and their nearby echoes.

The pathway flattened out and began to turn and twist like a serpent.

Finally, finally, there was a brightness around the top and bottom of my blindfold. I wished that it would slip, as I was too frightened to pull it off myself. It seemed to me that I wouldn't be so terrified if I could just see where I was and who was with me.

With the light came noise. Strange noise, a low murmuring babble. It sounded almost like a waterfall.

The babble got louder as we moved forward, and the closer it got, the less it sounded like water. It was too varied, low and high pitches mingling and echoing. If it had not been so discordant, it might have sounded like an uglier version of the constant music I'd heard and sung on the Singing World. The darkness of the blindfold suited that memory, the memory of blindness.

Jared understood the cacophony before I did. I'd never heard the sound because I'd never been with humans before.

_It's an argument_, he realized. _It sounds like so many people arguing._

He was drawn by the sound. Were there more people here, then? That there were even eight had surprised us both. What was this place?

Hands touched my shoulder, and I jumped away from them.

"Easy now," Jeb said. He and the other person slowly lowered me to the ground. I cautiously opened my eyes. I saw it was the girl helping Jeb carry me. She seemed so petite to be able to lift half of me.

I blinked slowly, and the shadows around me settled into shapes I could understand: rough, uneven walls; a pocked ceiling; a worn, dusty floor. We were underground somewhere in a natural cave formation. We couldn't be that deep. I thought we'd hiked upward longer than we'd slid downward.

The rock walls and ceiling were a dark purpley brown, and they were riddled with shallow holes like Swiss cheese. The edges of the lower holes were worn down, but over my head the circles were more defined, and their rims looked sharp.

The light came from a round hole ahead of us, its shape not unlike the holes that peppered the cavern, but larger. This was an entrance, a doorway to a brighter place. Jared was eager, fascinated by the concept of more humans. I held back, suddenly worried that blindness might be better than sight.

Jeb sighed. "Sorry," he muttered, so low that I was certainly the only one to hear. He tucked his right arm around my waist and started lifting me. I used my good leg to pull myself up. I leaned on him as we began walking.

I tried to swallow and could not. My head started to spin, but that might have been from hunger. My hands were trembling like leaves in a stiff breeze as Jeb prodded me through the big hole.

The tunnel opened into a chamber so vast that at first I couldn't accept what my eyes told me. The ceiling was too bright and too high-it was like an artificial sky. I tried to see what brightened it, but it sent down sharp lances of light that hurt my eyes.

I was expecting the babble to get louder, but it was abruptly dead quiet in the huge cavern.

The floor was dim compared to the brilliant ceiling so far above. It took a moment for my eyes to make sense of all the shapes.

A crowd. There was no other word for it-there was a crowd of humans standing stock-still and silent, all staring at me with the same burning, hate-filled expressions I'd seen at dawn.

Jared was too stunned to do anything more than count. Ten, fifteen, twenty... twenty-five, twenty-six, twenty-seven...

I didn't care how many there were. I tried to tell him how little it mattered. It wouldn't take twenty of them to kill me. To kill us. I tried to make him see how precarious our position was, but he was beyond my warnings at the moment, lost in this human world he'd never dreamed was here.

A woman stepped forward from the crowd, and my eyes darted first to her hands, looking for the weapon they would carry. Her hands were clenched in fists but empty of any other threat. My eyes, adjusting to the dazzling light, made out the sun-gilded tint of her skin and then recognized it.

Choking on the sudden hope that dizzied me, I lifted my eyes to the woman's face.


	13. Chapter 14 Disputed

**Sorry for any mistakes.**

**I do not own the Host**

**Chapter 14**

Disputed

It was too much for both of us, seeing her here, now, after already accepting that we'd never see her again, after believing that we'd lost her forever. It froze me solid, made me unable to react. I wanted to look at Jeb, to understand his heartbreaking answer in the desert, but I couldn't move my eyes. I stared at Melanie's face, uncomprehending.

Jared reacted differently.

"Melanie," he cried; through my damaged throat the sound was just a croak.

He jerked me forward, assuming control of my frozen body. It was by pure force.

I wasn't able to stop him fast enough.

He lurched forward, raising my arms to reach out for her. I screamed a warning at him in my head, but he wasn't listening to me. He was barely aware that I was even there.

No one tried to stop him as he staggered toward her. No one but me. He was within inches of touching her, and still he didn't see what I saw. He didn't see how her face had changed in the long months of separation, how it had hardened, how the lines pulled in different directions now. He didn't see that the unconscious smile he remembered would not physically fit on this new face. Only once had he seen her face turn dark and dangerous, and that expression was nothing to the one she wore now. He didn't see, or maybe he didn't care.

Her reach was faster than mine.

Before Jared could make my fingers touch her, her arm pulled a knife from someones belt and came at us. Kyle's sister jumped in front of me, elbowing my nose. The blow was so hard that my feet left the ground before my head slammed into the rock floor. I heard the rest of my body hit the floor with dull thumps, but I didn't feel it. My eyes rolled back in my head, and a ringing sound shimmered in my ears. I fought the dizziness that threatened to spin me unconscious.

Stupid, stupid, I whimpered at him. I told you not to do that!

_Melanie's here, Melanie's alive, Melanie's here._ He was incoherent, chanting the words like they were lyrics to a song.

I tried to focus my eyes, but the strange ceiling was blinding. I twisted my head away from the light and then swallowed a sob as the motion sent daggers of agony through my nose.

Damn that hurt! I wasn't expecting it to hurt so bad. What hope did I have of enduring an intensive, calculated onslaught?

There was a shuffle of feet beside me; my eyes moved instinctively to find the threat, and I saw Jeb standing over me. He had one hand half stretched out toward me, but he hesitated, looking away. I pushed myself up on my elbows, to see what he saw.

Kyle's sister had her hand on the knife Melanie raised at us, fighting to take it away. Melanie pushed her away. Melanie was now walking toward us, and her face was the same as those of the barbarians in the desert-only it was beautiful rather than frightening in its fury. My heart faltered and then beat unevenly, and I wanted to laugh at myself. Did it matter that she was beautiful, that I loved her, when she was going to kill me?

I stared at the murder in her expression and tried to hope that rage would win out over expediency, but a true death wish evaded me.

"Melanie stop!" the small blonde shouted as she stepped in front of her again. Melanie pushed her to the side again with more force.

"Get out of my way Wanda! I doesn't concern you!"

Jeb and Melanie locked eyes for a long moment. Melanie's jaw clenched and unclenched, but Jeb's face was calm. The silent confrontation ended when Melanie suddenly exhaled in an angry gust and took a step back.

Jeb reached down for my hand and put his other arm around my back to pull me up. My head whirled and ached; I tried to shake the dizziness away but it made it worse. My vision was blury and I felt warm liquid run down my lips. I wiped my nose with right forearm and saw the blood.

Melanie watched all this with a teeth-baring grimace. Like an idiot, Jared struggled to move toward her again. But I was over the shock of seeing her here and less stupid than he was now. He wouldn't break through again. I locked him away behind every bar I could create in my head.

Just be quiet. Can't you see how she loathes me? Anything you say will make it worse. We're dead.

_But Melanie's alive, Melanie's here,_ he crooned.

The quiet in the cavern dissolved; whispers came from every side, all at the same time, as if I'd missed some cue. I couldn't make out any meanings in the hissing murmurs.

My eyes darted around the mob of humans-every one of them an adult, no smaller, younger figure among them. My heart ached at the absence, and Jared fought to voice the question. I hushed him firmly. There wasn't anything to see here, nothing but anger and hatred on strangers' faces, or the anger and hatred on Mel's face.

Until another man pushed his way through the whispering throng. He was built slim and tall, his skeletal structure more obvious under his skin than most. His hair was buzzed short and dark. Like his bland hair and his long body, his features were mild and thin. There was no anger in his face, which was why it held my eye.

The others made way for this apparently unassuming man as if he had some status among them. Only Melanie didn't defer to him; she held her ground, staring only at me. The tall man stepped around her, not seeming to notice the obstacle in his path any more than he would a pile of rock.

"Okay, okay," he said in an oddly cheery voice as he circled Melanie and came to face me. "I'm here. What have we got?"

It was Maggie who answered him, appearing at his elbow.

"Jeb found it in the desert. Used to be Melanie's boyfriend. It seemed to be following the directions she gave him." She flashed a dirty look at Jeb.

"Mm-hm," the tall, bony man murmured, his eyes appraising me curiously. It was strange, that appraisal. He looked as if he liked what he saw. I couldn't fathom why he would.

My gaze shied away from his, I locked on the little angelic looking girl who elbowed me. I thing M...she called her Wanda. She watched with an indifferent expression.

She saved our butts Jared, no thanks to you.

"Mm-hm," the tall man said again, nodding. He reached one hand out to my face and seemed surprised when I jerked away from it.

"It's okay," the tall man said, smiling a little in encouragement. "I won't hurt you."

He reached toward my face again. I flinched back, but Jeb flexed his arm and nudged me forward. The tall man touched my jaw below my ear, his fingers gentler than I expected, and turned my face away. I felt his finger trace a line on the back of my neck, and I realized that he was examining the scar from my insertion.

I watched Melanie's face from the corner of my eye. What this man was doing clearly upset her, and I thought I knew why-how she must have hated that slender pink line on my neck.

Melanie frowned, but I was surprised that some of the anger had drained from her expression. Her eyebrows pulled together. It made her look confused.

The tall man dropped his hands and stepped away from me. His lips were pursed, his eyes alight with some challenge.

"He looks healthy enough, aside from some recent exhaustion, dehydration, malnourishment and of course the leg. I think you've put enough water back into him so that the dehydration won't interfere. Okay, then." He made an odd, unconscious motion with his hands, as if he were washing them. "Let's get started."

Then his words and his brief examination fit together and I understood-this gentle-seeming man who had just promised not to hurt me was the doctor.

Jeb sighed heavily and closed his eyes.

The doctor held a hand out to me, inviting me to put mine in his. I clenched my hands into fists across my chest. He looked at me carefully again, appraising the anger in my eyes. His mouth turned down, but it was not a frown. He was considering how to proceed.

"Kyle, Brandt?" he called, craning his neck to search the assembly for the ones he summoned. My knees wobbled when the two pressed their way forward.

"I think I need some help. Maybe if you were to carry -" the doctor, who did not look quite so tall standing beside Kyle, began to say.

"No"

Everyone turned to see where the dissent had come from. I didn't need to look, because I recognized the voice. I looked at her anyway.

Melanie's eyebrows pressed down hard over her eyes; her mouth was twisted into a strange grimace. So many emotions ran across her face, it was hard to pin one down. Anger, defiance, confusion, hatred, fear... pain.

The doctor blinked, his face going slack with surprise. "Melanie? Is there a problem?"

"Yes."

Everyone waited. Beside me, Jeb was holding the corners of his lips down as if they were trying to lift into a grin. If that was the case, then the old man had an odd sense of humor.

"And it is?" the doctor asked.

Melanie answered through her teeth. "I'll tell you the problem, Doc. What's the difference between letting you have it or Jeb putting a bullet in its head?"

I trembled at her answer. Jeb patted my arm.

The doctor blinked again. "Well" was all he said.

Melanie answered his own question. "The difference is, if Jeb kills it, at least it dies cleanly."

"Melanie" The doctor's voice was soothing, the same tone he'd used on me. "We learn so much each time. Maybe this will be the time -"

"Hah!" Melanie snorted. "I don't see much progress being made, Doc."

_Melanie will protect us_, Jared thought faintly.

It was hard to concentrate enough to form words. Not us, just your body.

_Close enough_... His voice seemed to come from some distance, from outside my pounding head.

Maggie stepped next to Doc facing her.

"There's no point in wasting an opportunity," she said fiercely. "We all realize that this is hard for you, Melanie, but in the end it's not your decision to make. We have to consider what's best for the majority."

Melanie glowered at her. "No." The word was a snarl.

I could tell she had not whispered the word, yet it was very quiet in my ears. In fact, everything was suddenly quiet. Maggie's lips moved, her finger jabbed at Melanie viciously, but all I heard was a soft hissing. Neither one of them took a step, but they seemed to be drifting away from me.

I saw the large blond man and the darker skinned one step toward Melanie with angry faces. I felt my hand try to rise in protest, but it only twitched limply. Melanie's face turned red when her lips parted, and the tendons in her neck strained like he was shouting, but I heard nothing. Jeb let go of my arm, and I saw the dull gray of the rifle's barrel swing up beside me. I cringed away from the weapon, though it was not pointed in my direction. This upset my balance, and I watched the room tip very slowly to one side.

"Jamie," I sighed as the light swirled away from my eyes.

Melnie's face was suddenly very close, leaning over me with a fierce expression.

"Jamie?" I breathed again, this time a question. "Jamie?"

Jeb's gruff voice answered from somewhere far away.

"The kid is fine. Melanie brought him here."

I looked at Melanie's tormented face, fast disappearing into the dark mist that covered my eyes.

"You kept your promise," I whispered.

And then I was lost in the darkness.


	14. Chapter 15 Guared

**Had to fix a few minor mistakes**

**I do not own the Host**

**Chapter 15**

Guarded

When I came to, there was no disorientation. I knew exactly where I was, roughly speaking, and I kept my eyes closed and my breathing even. I tried to learn as much as I could about my exact situation without giving away the fact that I was conscious again.

I was hungry. My stomach knotted and clenched and made angry noises. I doubted these noises would betray me-I was sure it had gurgled and complained as I slept.

My head ached fiercely. It was impossible to know how much of this was from fatigue and how much was from the knocks I'd taken.

I was lying on a hard surface. It was rough and... pocked. It was not flat, but oddly curved, as though I was lying in a shallow bowl. It was not comfortable. My back and hips throbbed from being curled into this position. That pain was probably what had woken me, not to mention my leg; I felt far from rested.

It was dark-I could tell that without opening my eyes. Not pitch-black, but very dark.

The air was even mustier than before-humid and corroded, with a peculiar acrid bite that seemed to cling to the back of my throat. The temperature was cooler than it had been in the desert, but the incongruous moisture made it almost as uncomfortable. I was sweating again, the water Jeb had given me finding its way out through my pores.

I could hear my breathing echo back to me from a few feet away. It could be that I was only close to one wall, but I guessed that I was in a very small space. I listened as hard as I could, and it sounded like my breathing echoed back from the other side as well.

Knowing that I was probably still somewhere in the cavern system Jeb had brought me to, I was fairly sure what I would see when I opened my eyes. I must be in some small hole in the rock, dark purple brown and riddled with holes like cheese.

It was silent except for the sounds my body made. Afraid to open my eyes, I relied on my ears, straining harder and harder against the silence. I couldn't hear anyone else, and this made no sense. They wouldn't have left me without a warden, would they? Jeb and his omnipresent rifle, or someone less sympathetic. To leave me alone... that wouldn't be in character with their brutality, their natural fear and hatred of what I was.

Unless...

I tried to swallow, but terror closed my throat. They wouldn't leave me alone. Not unless they thought I was dead, or had made sure that I would be. Not unless there were places in these caves that no one came back from.

The picture I'd been forming of my surroundings shifted dizzyingly in my head. I saw myself now at the bottom of a deep shaft or walled into a cramped tomb. My breathing sped up, tasting the air for staleness, for some sign that my oxygen was running low. The muscles around my lungs pulled outward, filling with air for the scream that was on the way. I clenched my teeth to keep it from escaping.

Sharp and close, something grated across the ground beside my head.

I shrieked, and the sound of it was piercing in the small space. My eyes flew open. I jerked away from the sinister noise, throwing myself against a jagged rock wall. My hands swung up to protect my face as my head thunked painfully against the low ceiling.

A dim light illuminated the perfectly round exit to the tiny bubble of a cave I was curled in. Melanie's face was half lit as she leaned into the opening, one arm reaching toward me. Her lips were tight with anger. A vein in her forehead pulsed as she watched my panicked reaction.

She didn't move; she just stared furiously while my heart restarted and my breathing evened out. I met her glare, remembering how noisy she used to be. I wonder how I hadn't heard her sitting guard outside my cell.

But I had heard something. As I remembered that, Melanie shoved her extended arm closer, and the grating noise repeated. I looked down. At my feet was a broken sheet of plastic serving as a tray. And on it...

I lunged for the open bottle of water. I was barely aware that Melanie's mouth twisted with disgust as I jerked the bottle to my lips. I was sure that would bother me later, but all I cared about now was the water. I wondered if ever in my life I would take the liquid for granted again. Given that my life was not likely to be prolonged here, the answer was probably no.

Melanie had disappeared, back through the circular entry. I could see a piece of her sleeve and nothing more. The dull light came from somewhere beside her. It was an artificial redish color.

I'd gulped half the water down when a new scent caught my attention, informing me that water was not the only gift. I looked down at the tray again.

Food. They were feeding me?

It was the bread-a dark, unevenly shaped roll-that I smelled first, but there was also a bowl of some clear liquid with the tang of onions. As I leaned closer, I could see darker chunks on the bottom. Beside this were three stubby white tubes. I guessed they were vegetables, but I didn't recognize the variety.

It took only seconds for me to make these discoveries, but even in that short time, my stomach nearly jumped through my mouth trying to reach the food.

I ripped into the bread. It was very dense, studded with whole-grain kernels that caught in my teeth. The texture was gritty, but the flavor was wonderfully rich. I couldn't remember anything tasting more delicious to me, not even my mushed-up Twinkies. My jaw worked as fast as it could, but I swallowed most of the mouthfuls of tough bread half-chewed. I could hear each mouthful hit my stomach with a gurgle. It didn't feel as good as I thought it would. Too long empty, my stomach reacted to the food with discomfort.

I ignored that and moved on to the liquid-it was soup. This went down easier. Aside from the onions I'd smelled, the taste was mild. The green chunks were soft and spongy. I drank it straight from the bowl and wished the bowl were deeper. I tipped it back to make sure I'd gotten every drop.

The white vegetables were crunchy in texture, woody in taste. Some kind of root. They weren't as satisfying as the soup or as tasty as the bread, but I was grateful for their bulk. I wasn't full-not close-and I probably would have started on the tray next if I thought I'd be able to chew through it.

It didn't occur to me until I was finished that they shouldn't be feeding me. Not unless Melanie had lost the confrontation with the doctor. Though why would Melanie be my guard if that were the case?

I slid the tray away when it was empty, cringing at the noise it made. I stayed pressed against the back wall of my bubble as Melanie reached in to retrieve it. This time she didn't look at me.

"Thanks," I whispered as she disappeared again. She said nothing; there was no change in her face. Even the bit of her sleeve did not show this time, but I was sure she was there.

_I can't believe she tried to stab me_, Jared mused, his thought incredulous rather than resentful. He was not over the surprise of it yet. I hadn't been surprised in the first place. Of course she had tried.

I wondered where you were, I answered. It would be poor manners to get me into this mess and then abandon me.

He ignored my sour tone. _I wouldn't have thought she'd be able to do it, no matter what. I don't think I could hit her._

Sure you could. If she'd come at you with reflective eyes, you'd have done the same. You're naturally violent. I remembered his daydreams of strangling the Seeker. That seemed like months ago, though I knew it was only days. It would make sense if it had been longer. It ought to take time to get oneself stuck in such a disastrous mire as the one I was in now.

Jared tried to consider it impartially._ I don't think so. Not Jamie... and Melanie, there's no way I could hurt Melanie, even if she was..._ He trailed off, hating that line of thought.

I considered this and found it true. Even if the woman had become something or someone else, neither he nor I could ever raise a hand to her.

Of course you couldn't. She was your mate. Relationships are irrational here. Too many emotions involved.

_What do you think is going to happen now?_

You're the expert on humans, I reminded him. It's probably not a good thing that they're giving me food. I can think of only one reason they'd want me strong.

The few specifics I remembered of historical human brutalities tangled in my head with the stories in the old newspaper we'd read the other day. Fire-that was a bad one. Jared had burned all the fingerprints off his right hand once in a stupid accident, grabbing a pan he hadn't realized was hot. I remembered how the pain had shocked him-it was so unexpectedly sharp and demanding.

_It was just an accident, though. Quickly treated with ice, salves, medicine. No one had done it on purpose, continued on from the first sickening pain, drawing it out longer and longer..._

I'd never lived on a planet where such atrocities could happen, even before the souls came. This place was truly the highest and the lowest of all worlds-the most beautiful senses, the most exquisite emotions... the most malevolent desires, the darkest deeds. Perhaps it was meant to be so. Perhaps without the lows, the highs could not be reached. Were the souls the exception to that rule? Could they have the light without the darkness of this world?

_I... felt something when Melanie tried to stab you,_ Jared interrupted. The words came slowly, one by one, as if he didn't want to think them.

I felt something, too. It was amazing how natural it was to use sarcasm now, after spending so much time with Jared. Wanda's got quite an elbow, doesn't she?

_That's not what I meant. I mean..._ He hesitated for a long moment, and then the rest of the words came in a rush. _I thought it was all me-the way we feel about her. I thought I was... in control of that._

The thoughts behind his words were clearer than the words themselves.

You thought you were able to bring me here because you wanted it so much. That you were controlling me instead of the other way around. I tried not to be annoyed. You thought you were manipulating me.

_Yes_. The chagrin in his tone was not because I was upset, but because she did not like being wrong. _But..._

I waited.

It came in a rush once more. _You're in love with her, too, separately from me. It feels different from the way I feel. Other. I didn't see that until he was there with us, until you saw her for the first time. How did that happen? How does a three-inch-long worm fall in love with a human being?_

Worm?

_Sorry. I guess you sort of have... limbs._

Not really. They're more like antennae. And I'm quite a bit longer than three inches when they're extended. Size always matter, no matter what species.

_My point is, she's not your species._

My body is human, I told him. While I'm attached to it, I'm human, too. And the way you see Melanie in your memories... Well, it's all your fault.

He considered that for a moment. He didn't like it much.

_So if you had gone to Tucson and gotten a new body, you wouldn't love her anymore now?_

I really, really hope that's true.

Neither of us was happy with my answer. I leaned my head against the top of my knees. Jared changed the subject.

_At least Jamie is safe. I knew Melanie would take care of him. I knew she would keep them both safe... I wish I could see him._

I'm not asking that! I cringed at the thought of the response that request would receive.

At the same time, I yearned to see the boy's face for myself. I wanted to be sure that he was really here, really safe-that they were feeding him and caring for him. He became like Jared's little brother to after losing his. Did he have someone to sing to him at night? To tell him stories? Would this new, angry Melanie think of little things like that? Did he have someone to curl up against when he was frightened?

_Do you think they will tell him that I'm here?_ Jared asked.

Would that help or hurt him? I asked back.

His thought was a whisper. _I don't know... I wish I could tell him that I kept my promise._

You certainly did. I shook my head, amazed. No one can say that you didn't come back, just like always.

_Thanks for that._ His voice was faint. I couldn't tell if he meant for my words now, or if he meant the bigger picture, bringing him here.

I was suddenly exhausted, and I could feel that he was, too. Now that my stomach had settled a bit and felt almost halfway full, the rest of my pains were not sharp enough to keep me awake. I hesitated before moving, afraid to make any noise, but my body wanted to uncurl and stretch out. I did so as silently as I could, trying to find a piece of the bubble long enough for me. Finally, I had to stick my feet almost out the round opening. I winced form my leg. I didn't like doing it, worried that Melanie would hear the movement close to her and think I was trying to escape, but she didn't react in any way. I pillowed my face against my arm, tried to ignore the way the curve of the floor cramped my spine, and closed my eyes.

I think I slept, but if I did, it wasn't deeply. The sound of footsteps was still very far away when I came fully awake.

This time I opened my eyes at once. Nothing had changed-I still could see the dull blue light through the round hole; I still could not see if Melanie was outside it. Someone was coming this way-it was easy to hear that the footsteps were coming closer. I pulled my legs away from the opening, moving as quietly as I could, and curled up against the back wall again. I would have liked to be able to stand; it would have made me feel less vulnerable, more prepared to face whatever was coming. The low ceiling of the cave bubble would barely have allowed me to kneel.

There was a flash of movement outside my prison. I saw part of Melanie's foot as she rose silently to her feet.

"Ah. Here you are," a man said. The words were so loud after all the empty silence that I jumped. I recognized the voice. The blonde man I'd seen in the desert-the one with the machete, Kyle.

Melanie didn't speak.

"We're not going to allow this, Mel" It was a different speaker, a more reasonable voice.

"We've all lost somebody-hell, we've all lost everybody. But this is ridiculous"

"If you won't let Doc have it, then it's got to die," Kyle added, his voice a growl.

"You can't keep it prisoner here," another man continued. "Eventually, it will escape and we'll all be exposed"

Melanie didn't speak, but she took one side step that put her directly in front of the opening to my cell.

My heart pumped hard and fast as I understood what the men were saying. Melanie had won. I was not to be tortured. I was not to be killed-not immediately, anyway. Melanie was keeping me prisoner.

It seemed a beautiful word under the circumstances.

_I told you she would protect us._

"Don't make this difficult, Mel," said a new male voice I didn't recognize. "It has to be done."

Melanie said nothing.

"We don't want to hurt you, Mel. We're all family here. But we will if you make us." There was no bluff in Kyle's tone. "Move aside."

Melanie stood rock still.

My heart started thumping faster than before, jerking against my ribs so hard that the hammering disrupted the rhythm of my lungs, made it difficult to breathe. Jared was incapacitated with fear, unable to think in coherent words.

They were going to hurt her. Those lunatic humans were going to attack one of their own.

"Mel... please," the third man's voice I didn't know begs.

Melanie didn't answer.

A heavy footfall-a lunge-and the sound of something heavy hitting something solid. A gasp, a choking gurgle -

"No!" I cried, and launched myself through the round hole.


	15. Chapter 16 Assigned

**Contains parts of the Host which ****I do not own :(**

**C****hapter 16**

Assigned

The ledge of the rock exit was worn down, but it scraped my palms and shins as I scrambled through it. It hurt, stiff as I was, to wrench myself erect, and my breath caught. My head swam as the blood flowed downward.

Another gasp and gurgle was but this time it was at a higher pitch. It was followed by a light thud. Panic flowed through me.

I looked for only one thing-where Melanie was, so that I could put myself between her and her attackers. That's when I saw her-on the ground.

The men all stood frozen in place, staring at me. Wanda had her back to the wall, her hands balled into fists, held low. In front of her, Kyle was hunched over, clutching his stomach. Two strangers behind Kyle a few feet back, their mouths open with shock. I took advantage of their surprise. In two long, shaky strides, I moved between Kyle and Wanda.

Kyle was the first to react. I was less than a foot from him, and his primary instinct was to shove me away. His hand struck my shoulder and heaved me toward the floor. Wanda shoved him back and turn to look at me. I stood up, my legs protested the way up.

"Get back in there," she roared at me. She shoved my shoulder, too, but it wasn't as hard as Kyle's push. It hardly made me move an inch. It almost made me laugh.

The hole was a black circle in the narrow hallway. Outside the small prison, the bigger cave looked just the same, only longer and taller, a tube rather than a bubble. A small lamp-powered by what, I couldn't guess-lit the hallway dimly from the ground. It cast strange shadows on the features of the men, turning them into scowling monster faces.

I took a step toward them again, turning my back to Wanda.

"I'm what you want," I said directly to Kyle. "Leave her alone"

No one said anything for a long second.

"Tricky bugger," one finally muttered, eyes wide with horror. He wasn't as big or tall as the others but he still looked menacing.

"I said get back in there," Wanda hissed behind me.

I turned halfway, not wanting Kyle out of my sight. "It's not your duty to protect me at your own expense"

Wanda grimaced, one hand rising to push me back toward the cell again.

_Don't go back in that cave_, Jared orders. I nod to myself.

I skipped out of the way; the motion moved me toward the ones who wanted to kill me.

"Kyle get out of here" Wanda snapped at him stepping around me. I can only tell now how tiny she is compared to us. Kyle and I are almost two heads taller than her but she stands her ground.

"We don't want to hurt you Wanda" one of the men says coming closer. His eyes are begging her to move. They really don't want to hurt her.

"Just hand him over" the third man tells her. He has dark skin, hair and eyes. He was shorter than Kyle but still quite buff.

"Not happening" Wanda says to them.

"Why are you protecting it?" Kyle asks his sister in displeaser.

"Because no one else will" is all she says. She lunges at Kyle at an amazing speed. He met her half way throwing punches and kicks which she deflected like a pro.

"Brandt!" Kyle called out. The buff man came at me. He grabbed my arms and pinned them behind me. I struggled instinctively, but he was very strong and I am very weak now. He bent my joints too far back and I gasped.

"Get your hands off him!" Wanda shouted, charging.

Kyle caught her and spun her around into a wrestling hold, forcing her neck forward. The other man grabbed one of Wanda's thrashing arms.

"Don't hurt her!" I screeched. I strained against the hands that imprisoned me.

Wanda's free elbow rammed into Kyle's stomach. Kyle gasped and lost his grip. She twisted away from her attackers and then lunged back, her fist connecting with Kyle's nose. Dark red liquid spattered the wall and the lamp. I kicked my leg back into the mans knee. He yelped in pain and let go of my arms.

"Finish it, Aaron!" Kyle yelled. He tossed a small knife to the other man holding Wanda's arm. He caught it and came at me.

_Duck!_

Huh?

_Don't let him get you...Ugh! Just follow your...my instincts._

I ducked and dived from the knife. He came at me like Kyle did with the machete. I caught his hand in the air and knocked the knife out of his hand and pushed him back into a wall. The knife landed near Kyle's foot. Kyle shoved Wanda to the ground. He picked it up and charged at me. I turned to see him coming closer.

At the last minute Wanda jumps in front of me.

"No!" Wanda and I cried at the same moment. It was a second too late for Kyle to stop the blade from slicing Wanda across the chest. He froze once he realized what had happened. He dropped the knife immediately.

"Wanda...I'm...so sorry" he stuttered out. Wanda held the now bleeding wound. She looked up at him from her long golden lashes. I could see the fire in her blue-grey eyes. Before Kyle could register she kicked him between the legs. A loud in take of air was heard followed by a thump of him hitting the ground.

_Ouch!_, Jared and I winced as a reflex.

Wanda laughed at his face contorted into pain. I smiled to for a minute and then caught sight of Melanie on the floor.

_Go check on her!,_ Jared demanded. I begin to walk towards her when I hear another small thump. I turn to see Wanda on her knees. Her face no longer has the rosiness to her cheeks. I turn away from Melanie and walk towards Wanda.

_Go to Melanie! _

Wanda is injured, I tell him. I can feel his anger spilling over into me.

_So is Mel!_

She could bleed out and it would be my fault.

_No it wouldn't. It would be Kyle's fault for cutting her. Now go check on Mel!_

No, I am helping Wanda.

Just as I tell him this I see Wanda tip over. I dive to the ground and catch her head before it hits the ground. She looks up at me comfused for a minute then a slight smile plays on her lips.

"You're cute. I see why Mel fell for you"

_Great she has gone loopy._

"You're hurt you need medical attention" I tell her. She doesn't argue and nods her head. I gently slide my hands under her legs and across her back. My fingers tingle as they make contact with the skin of her back. I shake my head clear. I need to focus. I stand slowly only to realize I have no idea where to go from her. Wanda notices my dilema and points down the hall.

I follow her silent directions through the maze of these caves. I try to walk as fast as I can as to not draw too much attention or the risk of being pulled aside.

Up ahead I finally see a faint blue glow. I slow down as I get to the door and cautiously push them open.

_It's our funeral, _Jared sighs. _At least I know she and Jamie are safe._

I prepare for someone to come at me only to be greeted by a nearly empty room. I sigh in relief and hear Wanda chuckle.

Maybe not.

The noise causes a dark skinned man to turn around from a make shift desk in the corner. The doctor. His smile quickly vanishes at the sight of us.

_I think so_.

"What happened?" he demands walking forward. I step back. His eyes flicker from Wanda to me then back but he watches me closely. Wanda points to a cot in the corner. I slowly walk over to it with the man following my every move. I gently lay Wanda down on it and step back.

"What happened?" the man asks her again. His eyes flash back up to me.

"Doc just give me the whiskey and stitch me up. You stay there. I'll take you back after I'm done" Wanda says sitting up as she removes her shirt to reveal the gash across the top of her right breast. My eyes can't help but run along her exposed porcelain skin.

Her shoulders are small but they look strong. I see the harsh lines of muscle on her upper arms as she leans back on them. If you look hard enough you can see faint golden freckles sprinkled around.

Doc hands her a small bottle with brownish liquid inside. She opens it and takes a swig. I can smell it from where I am at. I watch her face as she doesn't even wince at the liquor. Doc moves quickly on stitching up her wound.

She catches me and smirks as I blush as I look to the ground. I look up at her again and this time she smiles at me. My stomach flutters.

_What are you doing?_

Doc moves away from her wiping away the blood from her chest and stomach. I follow the lines of her neck down, avoiding the large closed gash across her breast, to her stomach. Its quite lean but faint outlines out muscle can be seen.

Doc missed a single drip of blood and I follow it as it rolls down her chest, stomach and hips as it is absorbed into the waist band of her jeans bellow her hips.

_Don't stare at her! _Jared screams at me. I jump realizing i have been and look down at the ground.

Sorry, I mutter to him. I feel his fustration as he throws a number of curses at me, making me wince from his anger.

"Who did this?" Doc finally asks after cleaning up. I don't look up but i know he was glancing at me.

"My idiot brother" Wanda tells him taking another swig of the liquor. My head snaps up.

"He _is_ your brother?" I ask not believing her. She laughs.

"I know right unbelievable" she says smiling at my appauled face. Now that I think of it I can seen the resemblence. The pale skin, blonde hair although Kyle's is wavy and Wanda is curly. The difference is in the eyes. Kyle has piercing blue that can rip you to shreds while Wanda has a calming blue-grey that invite you to fall into. And the fact she appears to look more like an angel while Kyle can be as menacing as a bear.

"You shouldn't have tried to help me" I honestly tell her. I feel so guilty she got hurt because of me.

"I knew they wouldn't hurt me if I stepped in"

"But you did get hurt"

"I still kicked their butts" she countered. I just sigh.

"It's not your job to protect me"

"No that was Mel's but since she was out cold I stepped in" she says slightly harsh. Jared and I wince at the mention of her. Wanda notices this.

"Which you shouldn't have"

"Just stop" she snaps. I look down at the floor. Wanda sighs heavily. Doc is somewhere in the room avoiding me.

_She's getting on my nerves, _Jared says. I hold back a laugh.

_What?_

I would say the same for Mel. I don't take to well for someone wanting to kill me.

He doesn't answer me. The room falls to an uncomfortable silence. I lean on a back wall two beds from Wanda.

"How did you even know where I was?" I ask after a few minutes. I look up at her from my lashes.

"I followed Jeb when they dragged you out" she says looking down at her hands in her lap. "You could at least say thank you for saving your life"

"Oh sorry. Thank you" I look up at her lock eyes with her. I feel like my inside are flipping around. What is happening? I have never felt like this before. Only when Jared thinks of Melanie have I had these feelings.

I then think of my last conversation with Kathy.

_"And then there are the physical drives these bodies have. I've never seen or heard of their equal. One of the most difficult things we of the first wave had to conquer was the mating instinct. Believe me, the humans noticed when you didn't." She grinned and rolled her eyes at some memory. When I didn't react as she'd expected, she sighed and crossed her arms impatiently. "Oh, come now, Iridescents. You must have noticed."_

_"Well, of course," I mumbled. Jared stirred restlessly. "Obviously. I've told you about the dreams..."_

_"No, I didn't mean just memories. Haven't you come across anyone that your body has responded to in the present-on strictly a chemical level?"_

_I thought her question through carefully. "I don't think so. Not so I've noticed"_

_"Trust me," Kathy said dryly. "You'd notice" She shook her head. "Perhaps you should open your eyes and look around for that specifically. It might do you a lot of good..."_

"Your welcome" she says smiling.

"But you still shouldn't have" I add. I see her roll her eyes at me.

"Ugh! You're just as stubborn as Mel" she complains. I let out a small chuckle. She also giggles.

"How's the leg?" she then asks. The question catches me off guard. I hadn't really notice it up until now. The pain is unbearable.

"Huh? Oh um...fine" I lie. She gives me a look raising an eyebrow. She looks so cute like that. Focus!

"Yeah right you practically hobbled your way here. Doc can you look at it for him?"

"Wanda...I-" Doc begins but gets cut off.

"Just take a look" she says with such an authority in her for some one of her age.

"And here I though Kyle was the bossy one" Doc mummurs walking towards me.

"I have some of the O'Shea genes too ya know" she defends herself. I hide my smile with my fist.

"Please sit down" Doc tells me. I can tell he isn't quite sure of me from our previous interaction.

"I'm fine really..." I begin to say but am interrupted.

"Sit" Wanda ordered. Doc just shrugs. I let out a sigh. Reluctantly I sat down on a nearby cot. Doc slowly made his way towards me. I kept my eyes focused him and flickered them back to Wanda.

"Can you lift your leg on the cot?" Doc asked me. I nodded and did as he asked, trying to hold back a groan from the pain. Doc carefully lift my pant leg. I winced as the fabric rubbed.

"It's fine, huh" Wanda teased as she saw me wince. I cocked a crooked smile at her. She smiles back.

"You try being in the front seat of a car when it explodes" I tell her. Her smile fades into one of shock.

"You're lucky to be alive" Doc says to me as he cleans the open wound. Don't feel so lucky. I hope Ginny is okay. Ginny! The kids!

"Wait, what about the others? How are the kids? And Ginny?" I quicky ask him. He exchanges a look to Wanda.

"They're-" he is cut off by an angry voice.

"You!" Kyle yells. I turn to see him just as his hands comes into contact with my throat, and pushes me off the cot and into the wall. Doc stands in shock.

"Kyle leave him alone!" Wanda screams jumping off her cot. "Get your hands off of him!" Brandt grabs her like he did me earlier while Aaron holds my arms down.

"Kyle! Stop. There is no need to be doing this" Doc snaps out of his daze.

"How do you know Doc? He is a Seeker!" Kyle yells. His ice blue eyes are firey if at all possible.

"You don't know that" Doc tells him. He whips his around to look at Doc.

"Yes I do. He was in a Seeker car, he is dressed like a Seeker-" he is cut off.

"Then why would he have four_ human_ kids with him?" Doc asks him his voice rising.

"He was probably taking them to a facility to be inserted with a worm" he looks back at me.

"Then they would have been sedated not sitting in the back seat"

"Why would they have Soul looking contacts on? And why did he tell us they were humans? Huh? He was scared we would treat them like him!" Wanda yells at her brother.

"I don't know why!" Kyle yells back at her.

Click, click.

I'd only heard the sound once before, but I recognized it. So did everyone else. They all froze, Kyle with his hands locked hard on my neck.

"I heard it escaped" Jeb's voice boomed.

"No _he_ didn't. He carried me here so Doc could stitch me up" Wanda tells him pushing a stunned Brandt off her. Jeb takes a once over look at her. Doc nods in agreement.

"Kyle, Aaron, Brandt-back off!" Jeb barked.

No one moved. I looked at the barrel of the gun pointed at me, then to Kyle, to Wanda and back to the gun.

A loud thwack sounded inches next my head. Aaron howled. I looked to see who hit him and was stunned. Melanie. She had a bruise on her cheek and fists balled up tight to her side. Melanie retreated after an angry glance in my direction and went to stand at Jeb's elbow.

Wanda moved swiftly towards Kyle kicking him behind the knees, he let out a holler, his hand loosening and I dropped to the floor. I crumpled there at his feet, gasping.

"You're guests here, boys, and don't forget it," Jeb growled. "I told you not to go looking for the boy. He's my guest, too, for the moment, and I don't take kindly to any of my guests killing any of the others."

"Jeb," Aaron moaned above me, his voice muffled by the hand held to his mouth. "Jeb. This is insane."

"What's your plan?" Kyle demanded. His face was smeared with blood, a violent, macabre sight. But there was no evidence of pain in his voice, only controlled and simmering anger. "We have a right to know. We have to decide whether this place is safe or if it's time to move on. So... how long will you keep this thing as your pet? What will you do with it when you're finished playing God? All of us deserve to know the answers to these questions."

Kyle's extraordinary words echoed behind the pulse thudding in my head. Keep me as a pet? Jeb had called me his guest... Was that another word for prisoner? Was it possible that two humans existed that did not demand either my death or my torture-wrung confession? If so, it was nothing less than a miracle.

"Don't have your answers, Kyle," Jeb said. "It's not up to me."

"Not up to you?" Kyle finally echoed, still disbelieving. "Who, then? If you're thinking of putting it to a vote, that's already been done. Aaron, Brandt, and I are the duly designated appointees of the result."

Jeb shook his head-a tight movement that never took his eyes off the man in front of him. "It's not up for a vote. This is still my house."

"Who, then?" Kyle shouted.

Jeb's eyes finally flickered-to another face and then back to Kyle. "It's Melanie's decision."

Everyone, me included, shifted their eyes to stare at Melanie.

She gaped at Jeb, just as astonished as the rest, and then her teeth ground together with an audible sound. She threw a glare of pure hate in my direction.

"Mel?" Kyle asked, facing Jeb again. "That makes no sense!" He was not in control of himself now, almost spluttering in rage. "She's more biased than anyone else! Why? How can she be rational about this?"

"Jeb, I don't..." Melanie muttered.

"He's your responsibility, Mel," Jeb said in a firm voice. "I'll help you out, of course, if there's any more trouble like this, and with keeping track of him and all that. But when it comes to making decisions, that's all yours." He raised one hand when Kyle tried to protest again. "Look at it this way, Kyle. If somebody found your Jodi on a raid and brought her back here, would you want me or Doc or a vote deciding what we did with her?"

"Jodi is dead," Kyle hissed, blood spraying off his lips. He glared at me with much the same expression Melanie had just used.

"Well, if her body wandered in here, it would still be up to you. Would you want it any other way?"

"The majority -"

"My house, my rules," Jeb interrupted harshly. "No more discussion on this. No more votes. No more execution attempts. You three spread the word-this is how it works from now on. New rule."

"Another one?" Aaron muttered under his breath.

Jeb ignored him. "If, unlikely as it may be, somehow this ever happens again, whoever the body belongs to makes the call." Jeb poked the barrel of the gun toward Kyle, then jerked it a few inches toward the hall behind him. "Get out of here. I don't want to see you anywhere around this place again. You let everyone know that this corridor is off-limits. No one's got any reason for being here except Mel, and if I catch someone skulking around, I'm asking questions second. You got that? Move. Now." He jabbed the gun at Kyle again.

I was amazed that the three assassins immediately stalked back up the hallway, not even pausing to give me or Jeb a parting grimace.

I deeply wanted to believe that the gun in Jeb's hands was a bluff.

From the first time I'd seen him, Jeb had shown every outward appearance of kindness. He had not touched me once in violence; he had not even looked at me with recognizable hostility. Now it seemed that he was one of only two people here who meant me no harm. Melanie might have fought to keep me alive, but it was plain that she was intensely conflicted about that decision. I sensed that she could change her mind at any time. From her expression, it was clear that part of her wanted this over with-especially now that Jeb had put the decision on her shoulders. While I made this analysis, Melanie glowered at me with disgust in every line of her expression.

However, as much as I wanted to believe that Jeb was bluffing, while I watched the three men disappear into the darkness away from me, it was obvious there was no way he could be. Under the front he presented, Jeb must have been just as deadly and cruel as the rest of them. If he hadn't used that gun in the past-used it to kill, not just to threaten-no one would have obeyed him this way.

_Desperate times_, Jared whispered. _We can't afford to be kind in the world you've created. We're fugitives, an endangered species. Every choice is life-or-death._

Shh. I don't have time for a debate. I need to focus.

Melanie was facing Jeb now, one hand held out in front of her, palm up, fingers curled limply. Now that the others were gone, their bodies slumped into a looser stance. Jeb was even grinning under his thick beard, as though he'd enjoyed the standoff at gunpoint. Strange human.

"Please don't put this on me, Jeb," Melaine said. "Kyle is right about one thing-I can't make a rational decision."

"No one said you had to decide this second. He's not going anywhere." Jeb glanced down at me, still grinning. The eye closest to me-the one Melaine couldn't see-closed quickly and opened again. A wink. "Not after all the trouble he took to get here. You've got plenty of time to think it through."

"There's nothing to think through. Jared is dead. But I can't-I can't-Jeb, I can't just..." Melanie couldn't seem to finish the sentence.

_Tell her_.

I'm not ready to die right this second.

"Don't think about it, then," Jeb told him. "Maybe you'll figure something out later. Give it some time."

"What are we going to do with it? We can't keep watch on it round the clock."

Jeb shook his head. "That's exactly what we're going to have to do for a while. Things will calm down. Even Kyle can't preserve a murderous rage for more than a few weeks."

"A few weeks? We can't afford to play guard down here for a few weeks. We have other things -"

"I know, I know." Jeb sighed. "I'll figure something out."

"And that's only half the problem." Melanie looked at me again; a vein in her forehead pulsed. "Where do we keep it? It's not like we have a cell block."

Jeb smiled down at me. "You're not going to give us any trouble, now, are you?"

I stared at him mutely.

"Jeb," Melanie muttered, upset.

"Oh, don't worry about him. First of all, we'll keep an eye on him. Secondly, he'd never be able to find his way out of here-he'd wander around lost until he ran into somebody. Which leads us to number three: he's not that stupid. From at least what you've told me" He raised one thick white eyebrow at me. "You're not going to go looking for Kyle or the rest of them, are you? I don't think any of them are very fond of you."

I just stared, wary of his easy, chatty tone.

"I wish you wouldn't talk to it like that," Melanie muttered.

"I was raised in a politer time, kid. I can't help myself." Jeb put one hand on Melanie's arm, patting lightly. "Look, you've had a full night. Let me take the next watch here. Get some sleep."

Melaine seemed about to object, but then she looked at me again and her expression hardened.

"Whatever you want, Jeb. And... I don't-I won't accept responsibility for this thing. Kill it if you think that's best."

I flinched.

Melanie scowled at my reaction, then turned her back abruptly and walked the same way the others had gone. Jeb watched her go.

He helps me up and has Doc finish cleaning my wounds. Once done he ushers me back down the hall, gun ready.

"Jeb you can't be serious about leaving this to Mel" Wanda asks him. She pulls on her shirt. Jeb rubs his eyes. I remain silent as we walk.

"Wanda she has more claim to him. If it was the other way around he'd be given the same choice" Jeb tells her.

What would you do? I ask Jared.

_I want to say I react different but to be honest I'd probaby do the same as Mel. _

"At least it's not Kyle. Who knows what would happen if you or Jodi came back as one of them" Jeb says. We are near my hole.

"That's comforting" Wanda mutters sarcastically. "He'd shoot me in the head right then and there" she adds. Jeb laughs but not a happy laugh. It is most likely true that Kyle would.

While he was distracted, I crept back into my hole.

I heard Jeb settle slowly to the ground beside the opening. He sighed and stretched, popping a few joints. Wanda must have left too. After a few minutes, he started whistling quietly. It was a cheery tune.

I curled myself around my bent knees, pressing my back into the farthest recess of the little cell. Tremors started at the small of my back and ran up and down my spine. My hands shook, and my teeth chattered softly together, despite the soggy heat.

"Might as well lie down and get some sleep," Jeb said, whether to me or to himself, I wasn't sure. "Tomorrow's bound to be a tough one."

The shivers passed after a time-maybe half an hour. When they were gone, I felt exhausted. I decided to take Jeb's advice. Though the floor felt even more uncomfortable than before, I was unconscious in seconds.


	16. Chapter 17 Visited

**Wow! 1254 views in three days! That's awesome. Thank you so much for taking the time and reading my story it means a lot to me.**

**Has parts from the Host. Like always I do not own the Host**

**This is a really long chapter. Sorry for any mistakes.**

**Chapter 17**

Visited

The smell of food woke me. This time I was groggy and disoriented when I opened my eyes. An instinctive sense of panic had my hands trembling again before I was fully conscious.

The same tray sat on the ground beside me, identical offerings on it. I could both see and hear Jeb. He sat in front of the cave in profile, looking straight ahead down the long round corridor and whistling softly.

Driven by my fierce thirst, I sat up and grabbed the open bottle of water.

"Morning," Jeb said, nodding in my direction.

I froze, my hand on the bottle, until he turned his head and started whistling again.

Only now, not quite so desperately thirsty as before, did I notice the odd, unpleasant aftertaste to the water. It matched the acrid taste of the air, but it was slightly stronger. The tang lingered in my mouth, inescapable.

I ate quickly, this time saving the soup for last. My stomach reacted more happily today, accepting the food with better grace. It barely gurgled.

My body had other needs, though, now that the loudest ones had been sated. I looked around my dark, cramped hole. There weren't a lot of options visible. But I could barely contain my unease at the thought of speaking up and making a request, even of the bizarre but friendly Jeb.

I brought my knees up to my chest and leaned my head on top trying to focus on anything else.

"Ahem," Jeb said.

He was looking at me again, his face a deeper color under the white hair than usual.

"You've been stuck in here for a while," he said. "You need to... get out?"

I nodded with a crooked smile.

"Don't mind a walk myself" His voice was cheerful. He sprang to his feet with surprising agility.

I crawled to the edge of my hole, staring out at him cautiously.

"I'll show you our little washroom," he continued. "Now, you should know that we're going to have to go through... kind of the main plaza, so to speak. Don't worry. I think everyone will have gotten the message by now." Unconsciously, he stroked the length of his gun.

I swallow. My bladder was so full it was a constant pain, impossible to ignore. But to parade right through the middle of the hive of angry killers?

_Couldn't he just bring us a bucket?_

He measured the panic in my eyes-watched the way I automatically shrank back farther into the hole-and his lips pursed in speculation. Then he turned and started walking down the dark hall. "Follow me," he called back, not looking to see if I obeyed.

I had one vivid flash of Kyle finding me here alone, and was after Jeb before a second passed, scrambling awkwardly through the opening and then hobbling along on my stiff legs as fast as I could to catch up. It felt both horrible and wonderful to stand straight again-the pain was sharp, but the relief was greater.

I was close behind him when we reached the end of the hall; darkness loomed through the tall broken oval of the exit. I hesitated, looking back at the small lamp he'd left on the floor. It was the only light in the dark cave. Was I supposed to bring it?

He heard me stop and turned to peer at me over his shoulder. I nodded toward the light, then looked back at him.

"Leave it. I know my way." He held out his free hand to me. "I'll guide you."

I stared at the hand for a long moment, and then, feeling the urgency in my bladder, I slowly walked up to him. He gently layed the hand on my shoulder. I flinched slightly then relaxed.

Jeb led me through the blackness with sure, quick steps. The long tunnel was followed by a series of bewildering twists in opposing directions. As we rounded yet another sharp V in the path, I knew I was hopelessly turned around. I was sure this was on purpose, and the reason Jeb had left the lamp behind. He wouldn't want me knowing too much about how to find my way out of this labyrinth.

I was curious as to how this place had come to be, how Jeb had found it, and how the others had wound up here. But I forced my lips tightly together. It seemed to me that keeping silent was my best bet now. What I was hoping for, I wasn't sure. A few more days of life? Just a cessation of pain? Was there anything else left? All I knew was that I wasn't ready to die, as I'd told Jared before; my survival instinct was every bit as developed as the average human's.

We turned another corner, and the first light reached us. Ahead, a tall, narrow crevice glowed with light from another room. This light was not artificial like the little lamp by my cave. It was too white, too pure.

We couldn't move through the narrow fracture in the rock side by side. Jeb went first, towing me close behind. Once through-and able to see again-I shrugged my shoulder out of Jeb's light grip. He didn't react in any way except to put his newly freed hand back on the gun.

We were in a short tunnel, and a brighter light shone through a rough arched doorway. The walls were the same holey purple rock.

I could hear voices now. They were low, less urgent than the last time I'd heard the babble of a human crowd. No one was expecting us today. I could only imagine what the response would be to my appearance with Jeb. My palms were cold and wet; my breath came in rasps. I leaned as close as I could to Jeb without actually touching him.

"Easy," he murmured, not turning. "They're more afraid of you than you are of them."

I doubted that. And even if there were any way that it could be true, fear turned into hatred and violence in the human heart.

"I won't let anybody hurt you," Jeb mumbled as he reached the archway. "Anyway, might as well get used to this."

I wanted to ask what that meant, but he stepped through into the next room. I crept in after him, half a step behind, keeping myself hidden by his body as much as possible but it didnt help. The only thing harder than moving myself forward into that room was the thought of falling behind Jeb and being caught alone here.

Sudden silence greeted our entrance.

We were in the gigantic, bright cavern again, the one they'd first brought me to. How long ago was that? I had no idea. The ceiling was still too bright for me to make out exactly how it was lit. I hadn't noticed before, but the walls were not unbroken-dozens of irregular gaps opened to adjoining tunnels. Some of the openings were huge, others barely large enough for a man to fit through stooped over; some were natural crevices, others were, if not man-made, at least enhanced by someone's hands.

Several people stared at us from the recesses of those crevices, frozen in the act of coming or going. More people were out in the open, their bodies caught in the middle of whatever movement our entrance had interrupted. One woman was bent in half, reaching for her shoelaces. A man's motionless arms hung in the air, raised to illustrate some point he'd been making to his companions. Another man wobbled, caught off balance in a sudden stop. His foot came down hard as he struggled to keep steady; the thud of its fall was the only sound in the vast space. It echoed through the room.

It was fundamentally wrong for me to feel grateful to that hideous weapon in Jeb's hands... but I did. I knew that without it we would probably have been attacked. These humans would not stop themselves from hurting Jeb if it meant they could get to me. Though we might be attacked despite the gun. Jeb could only shoot one of them at a time.

The picture in my head had turned so grisly that I couldn't bear it. I tried to focus on my immediate surroundings, which were bad enough.

Jeb paused for a moment, the gun held at his waist, pointing outward. He stared all around the room, seeming to lock his gaze one by one with each person in it. There were fewer than twenty here; it did not take long. When he was satisfied with his study, he headed for the left wall of the cavern. Blood thudding in my ears, I followed in his shadow.

He did not walk directly across the cavern, instead keeping close to the curve of the wall. I wondered at his path until I noticed a large square of darker ground that took up the center of the floor-a very large space. No one stood on this darker ground. I was too frightened to do more than notice the anomaly; I didn't even guess at a reason.

There were small movements as we circled the silent room. The bending woman straightened, twisting at the waist to watch us go. The gesturing man folded his arms across his chest. All eyes narrowed, and all faces tightened into expressions of rage. However, no one moved toward us, and no one spoke. Whatever Kyle and the others had told these people about their confrontation with Jeb, it seemed to have had the effect Jeb was hoping for.

As we passed through the grove of human statues, I recognized Sharon and Maggie eyeing us from the wide mouth of one opening. Their expressions were blank, their eyes cold. They did not look at me, only Jeb. He ignored them.

It felt like years later when we finally reached the far side of the cavern. Jeb headed for a medium-sized exit, black against the brightness of this room. The eyes on my back made my scalp tingle, but I didn't dare to look behind me. The humans were still silent, but I worried that they might follow. It was a relief to slip into the darkness of the new passageway. Jeb's hand touched my elbow to guide me, and I did not shrink away from it. The babble of voices didn't pick up again behind us.

"That went better than I expected," Jeb muttered as he steered me through the cave. His words surprised me, and I was glad I didn't know what he'd thought would happen.

The ground sloped downward under my feet. Ahead, a dim light kept me from total blindness.

"Bet you've never seen anything like my place here." Jeb's voice was louder now, back to the chatty tone he'd used before. "It's really something, isn't it?"

He paused briefly in case I might respond, and then went on.

"Found this place back in the seventies. Well, it found me. I fell through the roof of the big room-probably shoulda died from the fall, but I'm too tough for my own good. Took me a while to find a way out. I was hungry enough to eat rock by the time I managed it.

"I was the only one left on the ranch by then, so I didn't have anyone to show it to. I explored every nook and cranny, and I could see the possibilities. I decided this might be a good card to keep up my sleeve, just in case. That's how we Stryders are-we like to be prepared."

We passed the dim light-it came from a fist-sized hole in the ceiling, making a small circle of brightness on the floor. When it was behind us, I could see another spot of illumination far ahead.

"You're probably curious as to how this all got here." Another pause, shorter than the last. "I know I was. I did a little research. These are lava tubes-can you beat that? This used to be a volcano. Well, still is a volcano, I expect. Not quite dead, as you'll see in a bit. All these caves and holes are bubbles of air that got caught in the cooling lava. I've put quite a bit of work into it over the last few decades. Some of it was easy-connecting the tubes just took a little elbow grease. Other parts took more imagination. Did you see the ceiling in the big room? That took me years to get right."

I wanted to ask him how, but I couldn't bring myself to speak. Silence was safest.

The floor began to slant downward at a steeper angle. The terrain was broken into rough steps, but they seemed secure enough. Jeb led me down them confidently. As we dropped lower and lower into the ground, the heat and humidity increased.

I stiffened when I heard a babble of voices again, this time from ahead. Jeb patted my shoulder kindly.

"You'll like this part-it's always everyone's favorite," he promised.

A wide, open arch shimmered with moving light. It was the same color as the light in the big room, pure and white, but it flickered at a strange dancing pace. Like everything else that I couldn't understand in this cavern, the light frightened me.

"Here we are," Jeb said enthusiastically, pulling me through the archway. "What do you think?"

The heat hit me first-like a wall of steam, the moist, thick air rolled over me and dewed on my skin. My mouth opened automatically as I tried to pull a breath from the abruptly denser air. The smell was stronger than before-that same metallic tang that clung in my throat and flavored the water here.

The murmuring babble of bass and soprano voices seemed to issue from every side, echoing off the walls. I squinted anxiously through the swirling cloud of moisture, trying to make out where the voices came from. It was bright here-the ceiling was dazzling, like in the big room but much closer. The light danced off the vapor, creating a shimmering curtain that almost blinded me. My eyes struggled to adjust, and I held onto the wall.

I was surprised that the strangely fluid babble did not respond in any way to our entrance. Perhaps they couldn't see us yet, either.

"It's a bit close in here," Jeb said apologetically, fanning at the steam in front of his face. His voice was relaxed, conversational in tone, and loud enough to make me jump. He spoke as if we were not surrounded. And the babble continued, oblivious to his voice.

"Not that I'm complaining," he continued. "I'd be dead several times over if this place didn't exist. The very first time I got stuck in the caves, of course. And now, we'd never be able to hide out here without it. With no hiding place, we're all dead, right?"

He nudged me with his elbow, a conspiratorial gesture.

"Mighty convenient, how it's laid out. Couldn't have planned it much better if I'd sculpted it myself out of play dough."

His laugh cleared a section of mist, and I saw the room for the first time.

Two rivers flowed through the dank, high-domed space. This was the chatter that filled my ears-the water gushing over and under the purple volcanic rock. Jeb spoke as if we were alone because we were.

It was really only one river and one small stream. The stream was closest; a shallow braided ribbon of silver in the light from above, coursing between low stone banks that it seemed constantly in danger of overrunning. A feminine, high-pitched murmur purred from its gentle ripples.

The male, bass gurgle came from the river, as did the thick clouds of vapor that rose from the gaping holes in the ground by the far wall. The river was black, submerged under the floor of the cavern, exposed by wide, round erosions along the length of the room. The holes looked dark and dangerous, the river barely visible as it rushed powerfully toward an invisible and unfathomable destination. The water seemed to simmer, such was the heat and steam it produced. The sound of it, too, was like that of boiling water.

From the ceiling hung a few long, narrow stalactites, dripping toward the stalagmites beneath each one. Three of them had met, forming thin black pillars between the two bodies of flowing water.

"Got to be careful in here," Jeb said. "Quite a current in the hot spring. If you fall in, you're gone. Happened once before." He bowed his head at the memory, his face sober.

The swift black eddies of the subterranean river were suddenly horrible to me. I imagined being caught in their scalding current and shuddered.

Jeb put his hand lightly on my shoulder. "Don't worry. Just watch your step and you'll be fine. Now," he said, pointing to the far end of the cavern, where the shallow stream ran into a dark cave, "the first cave back there is the bathing room. We've dug the floor out to make a nice, deep tub. There's a schedule for taking baths, but privacy's not usually an issue-it's black as pitch. The room's nice and warm so close to the steam, but the water won't burn you like the hot spring here. There's another cave just past that one, through a crevice. We've widened the entrance up to a comfortable size. That room is the farthest we can follow the stream-it drops underground there. So we've got that room fixed up as the latrine. Convenient and sanitary." His voice had assumed a complacent tone, as if he felt credit was due to him for nature's creations. Well, he had discovered and improved the place-I supposed some pride was justified.

"We don't like to waste batteries, and most of us know the floor here by heart, but since it's your first time, you can find your way with this."

Jeb pulled a flashlight from his pocket and held it out. The sight of it reminded me of the moment he'd found me in the blown up car, when he'd checked my eyes and known what I was. I didn't know why the memory made me sad.

"Don't get any crazy ideas about maybe the river taking you out of here or something. Once that water goes underground, it doesn't come back up," he cautioned me.

Since he seemed to be waiting for some acknowledgment of his warning, I nodded once. I took the flashlight from his hand slowly, being careful not to make any quick movements that might startle him.

He smiled in encouragement.

I followed his directions quickly-the sound of the rushing water was not making my discomfort any easier to bear. It felt very strange to be out of his sight. What if someone had hidden in these caves, guessing I would have to come here eventually? Would Jeb hear the struggle over the cacophony of the rivers?

I shone the flashlight all around the bathing room, looking for any sign of an ambush. The odd flickering shadows it made were not comforting, but I found no substance to my fears. Jeb's tub was more the size of a small swimming pool and black as ink. Under the surface, a person would be invisible as long as they could hold their breath... I hurried through the slender crack at the back of the room to escape my imaginings. Away from Jeb, I was nearly overwhelmed with panic-I couldn't breathe normally; I could barely hear over the sound of my pulse racing behind my ears. I was more running than walking when I made my way back to the room with the rivers.

To find Jeb standing there, still in the same pose, still alone, was like a balm to my splintered nerves. My breathing and my heartbeat slowed. Why this crazy human should be such a comfort to me, I couldn't understand. I supposed it was like Jared had said, desperate times.

"Not too shabby, eh?" he asked, a grin of pride on his face.

I nodded once again and returned the flashlight.

"These caves are a great gift," he said as we started back toward the dark passageway. "We wouldn't be able to survive in a group like this without them. Magnolia and Sharon were getting along real well-shockingly well-up there in Chicago, but they were pushing their luck hiding two. It's mighty nice to have a community again. Makes me feel downright human."

He took my elbow once more as we climbed the rough stair-case out.

"I'm sorry about the, um, accommodations we've got you in. It was the safest place I could think of. I'm surprised those boys found you as quick as they did." Jeb sighed. "Well, Kyle gets real... motivated. But I suppose it's all for the best. Might as well get used to how things are going to be. Maybe we can find something more hospitable for you. I'll think on it... While I'm with you, at least, you don't really have to cram yourself into that little hole. You can sit in the hall with me if you prefer. Though with Mel..." He trailed off.

I listened to his apologetic words in wonder; this was so much more kindness than I'd hoped for, more compassion than I'd thought this species was capable of giving their enemies. I patted the hand on my elbow lightly, hesitantly, trying to convey that I understood and wouldn't cause a problem. I was sure Melanie much preferred to have me out of sight.

Jeb had no trouble translating my wordless communication. "That's a good boy," he said. "We'll figure this all out somehow. Doc can just concentrate on healin' human folks. You're much more interesting alive, I think."

Our bodies were close enough that he was able to feel me shiver.

"Don't worry. Doc's not going to bother you now."

I couldn't stop shivering. Jeb could only promise me now. There was no guarantee that Melanie would not decide my secret was more important than protecting Jared's body. I knew that such a fate would make me wish Kyle had succeeded last night.

_You never know how much time you'll have_, Jared had said so many days ago, when my world was still under control.

His words echoed in my head as we reentered the big room, the main plaza of Jeb's human community. It was full, like the first night, everyone there to glare at us with eyes that blazed anger and betrayal when they looked at him and murder when they looked at me. I kept my gaze down on the rock under my feet. From the corner of my eye, I could see that Jeb held his gun ready again.

It was only a matter of time, indeed. I could feel it in the atmosphere of hate and fear. Jeb could not protect me long.

It was a relief to scrape back through the narrow crevice, to look forward to the winding black labyrinth and my cramped hiding place; I could hope to be alone there.

Behind me, a furious hissing, like a nest of goaded snakes, echoed in the big cavern. The sound made me wish Jeb would lead me through the labyrinth at a quicker pace.

Jeb chuckled under his breath. He seemed to get stranger the longer I was around him. His sense of humor mystified me as much as his motivations did.

"It gets a bit tedious down here sometimes, you know," he murmured to me, or to himself. With Jeb, it was hard to tell. "Maybe when they get over being cheesed off at me, they'll realize they appreciate all the excitement I'm providing."

Our path through the dark twisted in a serpentine fashion. It didn't feel at all familiar. Perhaps he took a different route to keep me lost. It seemed to take more time than before, but finally I could see the dim blue light of the lamp shining from around the next curve.

I braced myself, wondering if Melanie would be there again. If she was, I knew she would be angry. I was sure she wouldn't approve of Jeb taking me for a field trip, no matter how necessary it might have been.

As soon as we rounded the corner, I could see that there was a figure slumped against the wall beside the lamp, casting a long shadow toward us, but it was obviously not Melanie. My hand clutched at Jeb's arm, an automatic spasm of fear.

And then I really looked at the waiting figure. It was smaller than her-that was how I'd known it was not Melanie-and thin. Small, but also too tall and too wiry. Even in the dim light of the blue lamp, I could see that his skin was dyed to a deep brown by the sun, and that his silky black hair now fell unkempt past his chin.

My knees buckled.

My hand, grasping Jeb's arm in panic, held on for support.

"Well, for Pete's sake!" Jeb exclaimed, obviously irritated. "Can't nobody keep a secret around this place for more'n twenty-four hours? Gol' durn, this burns me up! Bunch of gossipmongers..." He trailed off into a grumble.

I didn't even try to understand the words Jeb was saying; I was locked in the fiercest battle of my life-of every life I'd ever lived.

I could feel Jared in each cell of my body. My nerve endings tingled in recognition of his familiar presence. My muscles twitched in anticipation of his direction. My lips trembled, trying to open. I leaned forward toward the boy in the hall, my body reaching because my arms would not.

Jared had learned many things the few times I'd ceded or lost my command to him, and I truly had to struggle against him-so hard that fresh sweat beaded on my brow. But I was not dying in the desert now. Nor was I weak and dizzy and taken off guard by the appearance of someone I'd given up for lost; I'd known this moment might come. My body was resilient, quick to heal-I was strong again. The strength of my body gave strength to my control, to my determination.

I drove him from my limbs, chased him from every hold he'd found, thrust him back into the recesses of my mind, and chained him there.

His surrender was sudden and total. I felt strangely guilty as soon as I'd won.

I'd already known that he was more to me than a resistant host who made life unnecessarily difficult. We'd become companions, even confidantes during our past weeks together-ever since the Seeker had united us against a common enemy. In the desert, with Kyle's knife over my head, I'd been glad that if I had to die I would not be the one to kill Jared; even then, he was more than a body to me. But now it seemed like something beyond that. I regretted causing him pain.

It was necessary, though, and he didn't seem to grasp that. Any word we said wrong, any poorly considered action would mean a quick execution. His reactions were too wild and emotional. He would get us into trouble.

You have to trust me now, I told him. I'm just trying to keep us alive. I know you don't want to believe your humans could hurt us...

_But it's Jamie_, he whispered. He yearned for the boy with an emotion so strong that it weakened my knees again.

I tried to look at him impartially-this sullen-faced teenager slumped against the tunnel wall with his arms folded tightly across his chest. I tried to see him as a stranger and plan my response, or lack of response, accordingly. I tried, but I failed. He was Jamie, my arms-mine, not Jared's-longed to hold him. Tears threatened to trickle down my face. I could only hope it is invisible in the dim light.

"Jeb," Jamie said-a gruff greeting. His eyes passed swiftly over me and away.

His voice was so deep! Could he really be so old? I realized with a double pang of guilt that I'd just missed his fourteenth birthday. Jared showed me the day, and I saw that it was the same day as the first dream with Jamie. He'd struggled so hard all through the waking hours to keep his pain to himself, to cloud his memories in order to protect the boy, that he'd come out in her dream. And I'd e-mailed the Seeker.

I shuddered now in disbelief that I'd ever been so callous.

"Whatcha doing here, kid?" Jeb demanded.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Jamie demanded back.

Jeb went silent.

"Was that Mel's idea?" Jamie pressed.

Jeb sighed. "Okay, so you know. What good does that do you, eh? We only wanted to -"

"To protect me?" he interrupted, surly.

When did he get so bitter? Was it my fault? Of course it was.

"Fine, Jamie. So you don't need protecting. What do you want?"

This quick capitulation seemed to throw Jamie off. His eyes darted between Jeb's face and mine while he struggled to come up with a request.

"I-I want to talk with him... with it," he finally said. His voice was higher when he was unsure.

"He doesn't say much," Jeb told him, "but you're welcome to try, kid."

Jeb pried my fingers off his arm. When he was free, he turned his back to the nearest wall, leaning into it as he eased himself to the floor. He settled in there, fidgeting until he found a comfortable position. The gun stayed balanced in the cradle of his lap. Jeb's head lolled back against the wall, and his eyes closed. In seconds, he looked like he was asleep.

I stood where he'd left me, I turned my face blank like when I would talk to the Seeker.

Jamie was surprised again by Jeb's easy acquiescence. He watched the old man recline on the floor with wide eyes that made him look younger. After a few minutes of perfect stillness from Jeb, Jamie looked back up at me, and his eyes tightened.

The way he stared at me-angry, trying hard to be brave and grown-up, but also showing the fear and pain so clearly in his dark eyes-had my knees shaking. Rather than take a chance with another collapse, I moved slowly to the tunnel wall across from Jeb and slid down to the floor. I bent my legs, and rested my arms on them.

Jamie watched me with cautious eyes and then took four slow steps forward until he stood over me. His glance flitted to Jeb, who hadn't moved or opened his eyes, and then Jamie knelt down at my side. His face was suddenly intense, and it made him look more adult than any expression yet. My heart throbbed for the sad man in the little boy's face.

"You're not Jared," he said in a low voice.

It was harder not to speak to him because I was the one who wanted to speak. Instead, after a brief hesitation, I shook my head.

"You're inside his body, though."

Another pause, and I nodded.

"What happened to your... to his face?"

I shrugged. I didn't know what my face looked like, but I could imagine.

"Who did this to you?" he pressed. With a hesitant finger, he almost touched the side of my neck. I held still, feeling no urge to cringe away from this hand.

"Aunt Maggie, Aaron, Kyle and Wanda too," Jeb listed off in a bored voice. We both jumped at the sound. Jeb hadn't moved, and his eyes were still closed. He looked so peaceful, as if he had answered Jamie's question in his sleep.

"But she was trying to protect him" Jeb added. Jamie shook his head like if he was agreeing with him.

"Figures" he mutters under his breath. I looked at him from the corner of my eye. He noticed and looked away.

Jamie waited for a moment, then turned back to me with the same intense expression.

"You're not Jared, but you know all his memories and stuff, right?"

I nodded again.

"Do you know who I am?"

I tried to swallow the words, but they slipped through my lips. "You're Jamie" my voice sounded hoarse and in a deeper tone.

He blinked, startled that I had broken my silence. Then he nodded. "Right," he whispered back.

We both looked at Jeb, who remained still, and back at each other.

"Then you remember what happened to him?" he asked.

I sighed, and then nodded slowly.

"I want to know," he whispered.

I shook my head.

"I want to know," Jamie repeated. His lips trembled. "I'm not a kid. Tell me."

"It's not... pleasant," I breathed, unable to stop myself. It was very hard to deny this boy what he wanted.

His straight black eyebrows pulled together and up in the middle over his wide eyes. "Please," he whispered.

I glanced at Jeb. I thought that maybe he was peeking from between his lashes now, but I couldn't be sure.

My voice was soft as breathing. "Someone saw him go into a place that was off-limits. They knew something was wrong. They called the Seekers."

He flinched at the title.

"The Seekers tried to get him to surrender. He ran from them. When they had him cornered, he slit his throat and jumped out a window"

I recoiled from the memory of pain, and Jamie's face went white under his tan.

"He didn't die?" he whispered. I unconsciencely traced the faint scar on my neck.

"No. We have very skilled Healers. They mended him quickly. Then they put me in him. They hoped I would be able to tell them how he had survived so long." I had not meant to say so much; my mouth snapped shut. Jamie didn't seem to notice my slip, but Jeb's eyes opened slowly and fixed on my face. No other part of him moved, and Jamie didn't see the change.

"Why didn't you let him die?" he asked. He had to swallow hard; a sob was threatening in his voice. This was all the more painful to hear because it was not the sound a child makes, frightened of the unknown, but the fully comprehending agony of an adult. It was so hard not to reach out and put my hand on his shoulder. I curled my hands into fists and tried to concentrate on his question. Jeb's eyes flickered to my hands and back to my face.

"I wasn't in on the decision," I murmured. "I was still in a hibernation tank in deep space when that happened."

Jamie blinked again in surprise. My answer was nothing he'd expected, and I could see him struggling with some new emotion. I glanced at Jeb; his eyes were bright with curiosity.

The same curiosity, though more wary, won out with Jamie. "Where were you coming from?" he asked.

In spite of myself, I smiled at his unwilling interest. "Far away. Another planet"

"What was -" he started to ask, but he was interrupted by another question.

"What the hell?" Melanie shouted at us, frozen with fury in the act of rounding the corner at the end of the tunnel. "Damn it, Jeb! We agreed not to -"

Jamie wrenched himself upright. "Jeb didn't bring me here. But you should have"

Jeb sighed and got slowly to his feet. As he did so, the gun rolled from his lap onto the floor. It stopped only a few inches from me. I scooted away, uncomfortable.

Melanie had a different reaction. She lunged toward me, closing the length of the hallway in a few running strides. I kept my eyes down but I caught a glimpse of her jerking the gun up from the floor.

"Are you trying to get us killed?" she almost screamed at Jeb, shoving the gun into the old man's chest.

"Calm down, Mel," Jeb said in a tired voice. He took the gun in one hand. "He wouldn't touch this thing if I left it down here alone with him all night. Can't you see that?" He stabbed the barrel of the gun toward me, and I looked away. "He's no Seeker, this one"

"Yes he is!"

"What?" Jamie asked in confusion. His eyes flickered to Jeb then to me and back to Jeb.

"He was found dressed as one and in a Seeker car" Melanie spats at him.

"We dont know for sure" Jeb tells her still calm.

"Shut up Jeb. Shut up!"

"Leave him alone," Jamie shouted. "He didn't do anything wrong"

"You!" Melanie shouted back, turning on the slim, angry figure. "You get out of here now, or so help me!"

Jamie balled his fists and stood his ground.

Melanie's fists came up, too.

I was rooted in place with shock. How could they scream at each other this way? They were family, they shared the same blood. Melanie wouldn't hit Jamie-she couldn't! I wanted to do something, but I didn't know what to do. Anything that brought me to their attention would only make them angrier.

For once, Jared was calmer than I was. _She can't hurt Jamie_, he thought confidently. _It's not possible._

I looked at them, facing off like enemies, and panicked.

We should never have come here. See how unhappy we've made them, I moaned.

"You shouldn't have tried to keep this a secret from me," Jamie said between his teeth. "And you shouldn't have hurt him" One of his hands unclenched and flew out to point at my face.

Melanie let out a rush of air. "That's not Jared. He's never coming back, Jamie"

"That's his face," Jamie insisted. "And his neck. Don't the bruises there bother you?"

Melanie dropped her hands. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "You will either leave right now, Jamie, and give me some space, or I will make you leave. I am not bluffing. I can't deal with any more right now, okay? I'm at my limit. So can we please have this conversation later?" She opened her eyes again; they were full of pain.

Jamie looked at her, and the anger drained slowly from his face. "Sorry," he muttered after a moment. "I'll go... but I'm not promising that I won't come back."

"I can't think about that now. Go. Please."

Jamie shrugged. He threw one more searching look at me, and then he left, his quick, long stride making me ache again for the time I'd missed.

Melanie looked at Jeb. "You, too," she said in a flat voice.

Jeb rolled his eyes. "I don't think you've had a long enough break, to be honest. I'll keep an eye on -"

"Go"

Jeb frowned thoughtfully. "Okay. Sure." He started down the hall.

"Uncle Jeb?" Melanie called after him.

"Yeah?"

"If I asked you to shoot it right now, would you do it?"

Jeb kept walking slowly, not looking at us, but his words were clear. "I'd have to. I follow my own rules. So don't ask me unless you really mean it."

He disappeared into the dark.

Melanie watched him go. Before she could turn her glower on me, I ducked into my uncomfortable sanctuary and leaned in the back corner.


	17. Chapter 18 Fault

**I am so sorry for not updating in a while. I am in the middle of moving and I caught a bad bug last week and wasn't up for writing so again I am sorry.**

**I know some of you have been asking about the kids and Ginny dont worry i didn't forget about them. This is kind of a filler chapter sorry**

**Chapter 18**

**Wanderer POV**

Fault

I haven't seen Jared or whoever he is since he took me to Doc's. I heard the boys telling everyone no one is allowed to go look for him or down the tunnel he is at. I am assuming that includes me too even though I have done nothing but save him since he got here. I still dont know why I did it. maybe I feel sorry for Jared's body as it parades around like nothing happened. Maybe it is because of the alien inside. I really dont know at this point.

I am in the kitchen washing up my dishes when I hear footsteps rushing in. I turn to see the four kids that were found with the two souls.

"Is it true? Did Kyle and some other guys try and kill him?" Portia asks in a hurry. She is carrying little Rosie.

"Yes but he is fine for now" I tell them.

"Can we see him?" Penney asks softly.

"No" Mel says harshly behind me. I turn around to look at her. She scowls at me. We used to be best friends, sisters even and now she hates me because I defend her lovers body.

"Why can't we see him?" Portia asks angrily.

"He saved us all" Penney tells her. Mel rolls her eyes. We have heard since the day they were found. only a handful of us believe them, myself included.

"You have no idea what he did so we could escape. I know souls don't kill each other but they'd make an exception for him" Portia says sadly.

"He did it all for you and you don't even care!" Kasher shoutss at her. Mel scowls at the freckle faced boy.

"No!" Mel shouts back.

"C'mon Mel" I try my luck.

"No Wanda" she says sternly.

"Why not? He saved their lives. Just ask the three human kids. They keep asking to see him and the girl"

"Doesn't matter" she tells me. now she is getting on my nerves. Jeb some walks in.

"How much would you like to bet the little girl is deaf and only he can talk to her? You said yourself her crying is getting on your nerves"

"Jeb" Mel says trying to get them to drop it. I smile. Wrong person to ask.

"Mel" Jeb sighs. Her eyes widen as she realizes he is with the kids and I. She huffs and crosses her arms and pouts like a five year old.

"Fine. Not today but soon"

"And Ginny too" Kasher adds. He knows how to get under her skin. It is fun to watch.

"Okay"

"How about you tell me how you met him" I say turning their attention back to me.

"Alright but _only_ after we see Ginny" Portia demands.

"Jeb" I say looking up at him.

"'S fine with me. You have to watch them though" he smiles at us.

"Will do"

"Okay kids follow me" I say as they cheer. I walk through the halls to where we have been keeping her. It is another storage area but smaller than the other one.

"Ginny!" Kasher shouts as we approach. She slighty pokes her head out. I nod to Lily who has been watching her. She smiles and leaves us.

"Guys!" she shouts. She hesistates at the entrance. Jeb smiles at her and waves a hand for her to come out.

"Why is she in here?" Portia asks in a panic.

"Just a precaution. She has proved to be a handful" Jeb tells us. Ginny drops her head in shame.

"Sorry my host had a temper. I have tried to control it but nothing helps except them maybe"

"She is calmer" I admit seeing her remembering how hard it was to get her in there.

"Yes she is" Jeb says curiously.

"So how are you? Have they been good to you?" Ginny begings asking them.

"We're fine"

"Plenty to eat..." she rants like a worried big sister or mother.

"Ginny" they whine together laughing. She laughs too.

"Sorry I have just been worried is all"

"Us too"

"Have you seen Iri?" she asks them in a hushed tone.

"Iri?" I ask

"Jared's Soul" Penney tells me. They all smack her arms.

"Penny!" Portia and Kasher scream. Penney flinches from them.

"You know about Jared?" I ask them. Their eyes widen for less then a second then go back to normal. Huh?

"Do you?" Kasher asks me.

"Not personally. Just from what Mel has told me. Wait, you speak like he is still present"

"What no you're crazy"

"No I'm not. How would he know how to get here if Jared wasn't present?"

"His memories?" he says in more of a question.

"Maybe"

"I heard you saved him" Ginny directs to me.

"Yeah, a couple times actually"

"Thank you" she says. I shrug.

"No biggy"

"Yes it is. Why did you do it?" she then asks.

"To be honest I have no idea. i know I should be angry at him but I can't. He didn't personally take my family. He hasn't tried to run away or hurt anyone as everyone thought. And he told Jamie it wasn't his descision on getting placed in Jared"

"Okay so quit stalling. You said you'd tell me how you met him after i let you see Ginny" I tell them.

"Okay. What do you want to know?" Portia asks me.

"Start at the beginning. How did you meet him?" I ask her. They all smile.

"That's easy. It was four years ago..."

What feels like hours later is only thrity minutes. I learn how they met Jared or his body when he was taken in by the Seeker. How he came up with a plan to escape. I had the feeling they weren't telling me the whole truth but i didn't push it.

"Wanda..." Jeb softly calls from the end o fthe hall. I turn to look at him. He gives me a sad smile and I know it is time.

"Okay. Alright kids I'm sorry but the play date is over"

"Awe" they say together. Ginny laughs and so do I.

"It's okay. Listen to them and behave" Ginny tells them like a big sister would. They each hugs her. Kasher is still upset. She gives him a stern look and places her hands on her hips.

"Okay Ginny. Bye" he tells her then wraps his arms around her small waist.

"Bye guys" she tells them.

"Thank you again Wanda" she tells me. I just shrug.

"No problem. I'll see if I can convince him for another trip"

"I'd like that very much" she says as we begin walking back to her cell.

"Wanda?" she asks in front of me.

"Yeah?"

"I heard someone refer to you as Wanderer"

"Yeah that is my full name. Jeb nicknamed me Wanda after i got here. Said it was a mouthful" I laugh at the memory.

"That isn't a human name isn't it" she asks but i can tell she knows it isn't.

"No it is not" i answer truthfully.

"Then how did you get it?" she asks me turning aroun to look me in the eye. I stare at her silver ringed eyes and look away.

"That is for another time"

"Okay. I'll wait until then" she quietly says slipping in her cell.

* * *

The next morning Jeb comes to Jared's cell to take him to the washroom. Mel is sitting by the wall sharpening her knife. Jeb huffs and shakes his head as he approaches. Mel doesn't even look at him as he steps in fron tof her.

"Okay Mel I'm gonna bring him out to go to the washroom, don't do anything rash"

"No promises Jeb" she tells him.

"I'm serious Melanie" he says sternly. Mel stands to face the old man.

"Me too Jebadiah" she counters. They stare at each other for a couple of seconds until Jeb speaks again.

"Just like your father. Stubborn as a mule"

"Runs in the family" she remarks.

"Most certainly does"

"Alright boy lets get you clean. You are a boy right?" Jeb calls into the cell. 'Jared' steps out and nods in a response to his question.

"Okay good. Let's go" he says and begins walking. Mel follows a ways behind.

Thsi morning I make my way to Ginny's cell. With Jeb nowhere in sight i decide to take Ginny to the washroom so she can clean up. Our walk is silent for a while.

As we approach on of the tunnels screams are heard. Familiar high pitch voices are heard. I quicken my pace and so deos Ginny.

"Iri!" it echoes making everyone jump. The little girl Rosie flings herself at Iri. He bends down in time to catch her embrace. The other kids soon follow.

"Get back!" Mel shouts at them.

"Ginny!" Kasher then screams. He runs to her and she hugs him.

"Wanda!" Mel screams at me. I hide the smile on my face and put one of innocence on. I lock eyes with Iri and he smiles at me.

"Sorry I didn't know he was taking him out now. She has to go...its ah...her time of the...month" I stutter. I look to Ginny is slightly red but smiles as she hugs the kids. Iri pokes her in the side with a knowing smile and she blushes more.

"Oh" Jeb lets out.

"Alright that's enough. You know the rules no one comes looking for either of them so scram"

"Melanie" I say in shock that she would talk to these kids like that.

"Don't start with me Wanderer" I know she is mad when she uses my full name.

"Enough girls. I don't get what happened with you two. You used to be closer than two peas in a pod"

"Peoples true colors come out in desperate times" I mutter angrily. Mel scowls at me and comes closer. Ginny hugs the kids close as Iri tries to come near us.

"I wouldn't if I were you" I hear Kyle remark from the distance. I turn to see Iri looking at him and backing away then glancing at me. He was going to step in between us. Probably just to keep Mel from being hurt. Mel notices this too and glares at him.

"Come on" Kyle says grabbing me hard my the forearm. I yank my arm away.

"You're not the boss of me Kyle" I tell him.

"But I am responsible for you. Have been for years and you never used to have a problem with it until it came. Now you're all lets-save-the parasite. What has gotten into you?"

"Me? What has gotten into me? What about you? When did you turn into a heartless murderer?"

"Wanda" he says tryign to control his temper but i am in no mood to be messed with.

"Mom and dad would be ashamed of what you have become" I say in a low voice. I hardly get to finish when i feel his hand slap the side of my face. He hits me so hard i taste blood in my mouth and nearly fall over. Iri catches me and Mel stands over me glaring at Kyle. I see Jeb tense to and step forward.

"Mom and dad are dead. Did you forget who killed them and what do you do? You go and try to help the very same creatures that cause their deaths. I'm not the one they would be ashamed of" he spits and walks away. I feel hot tears in the back of my eyes threatning to spill over. Jeb, and Mel turn to me both wearing looks of pity. I push myself out of Iri's grip and walk away.

"Wanda wait" Mel says grabbing my arm. I pull away like she is made of acid.

"Don't. Just don't Mel"

"I'm sorry Wanda. All this is my fault. If i hadn't come you'd still have your friends and family" Iri tells me softly stepping in front of me. His head is lowered so I can see his face. Jeb holds Mel back as she tries to come towards us.

"No. I'm glad I got to see who they would react. It would have all come out eventually. It isn't your fault" I tell him as I walk away.


	18. Chapter 19 Bored

**Oh lucky you guys two chapters in two days. Who'd ever thought that would happen. Don't know if it will again but I will try.**

**I do not own the Host**

**Chapter 19**

**Bored**

I spent the rest of the day, with one brief exception, in total silence.

That exception occurred when Jeb brought food for both Melanie and me several hours later. As he set the tray inside the entrance to my tiny cave, he smiled at me apologetically.

"Thank you," I whispered.

"You're welcome," he told me.

I heard Melanie grunt, irritated by our small exchange.

That was the only sound Melanie made all day. I was sure she was out there, but there was never so much as an audible breath to confirm that conviction.

It was a very long day-very cramped and very dull. I tried every position I could imagine, but I could never quite manage to get all of me stretched out comfortably at once. The small of my back began a steady throbbing.

Jared and I thought a lot about Jamie. Mostly we worried that we had damaged him by coming here, that we were injuring him now. What was a kept promise in comparison with that?

Time lost meaning. It could have been sunset, it could have been dawn-I had no references here, buried in the earth. Jared and I ran out of topics for discussion. We flipped through our joint memories apathetically, like switching TV channels without stopping to watch anything in particular. I napped once but could not fall soundly asleep because I was so uncomfortable.

When Jeb finally came back, I could have kissed his leathery face. He leaned into my cell with a grin stretching his cheeks.

"'Bout time for another walk?" he asked me.

I nodded eagerly.

"I'll do it," Melanie growled. "Give me the gun"

I hesitated, crouched awkwardly in the mouth of my cave, until Jeb nodded at me.

"Go ahead," he told me.

I climbed out, stiff and unsteady, and took Jeb's offered hand to balance myself. Melanie made a sound of revulsion and turned her face away. She was holding the gun tightly, her knuckles white over the barrel. I didn't like to see it in her hands. It bothered me more than it did with Jeb.

Melanie didn't make allowances for me the way Jeb had. She stalked off into the black tunnel without pausing for me to catch up.

It was hard-she didn't make much noise and she didn't guide me, so I had to walk with one hand in front of my face and one hand on the wall, trying not to run into the rock. I fell twice on the uneven floor. Though she did not help me, she did wait till she could hear that I was on my feet again to continue. Once, hurrying through a straighter section of the tube, I got too close and my searching hand touched her back, traced across the shape of her shoulders, before I realized that I hadn't reached another wall. She jumped ahead, jerking out from under my fingers with an angry hiss.

"Sorry," I whispered, feeling my cheeks turn warm in the darkness.

She didn't respond, but sped her pace so that following was even more difficult.

I was confused when, finally, some light appeared ahead of me. Had we taken a different route? This was not the white brilliance of the biggest cavern. It was muted, pale and silvery. But the narrow crevice we'd had to pass through seemed the same... It wasn't until I was inside the giant, echoing space that I realized what caused the difference.

It was nighttime; the light that shone dimly from above mimicked the light of the moon rather than the sun. I used the less-blinding illumination to examine the ceiling, trying to ferret out its secret. High, so very high above me, a hundred tiny moons shone their diluted light toward the dim, distant floor. The little moons were scattered in patternless clusters, some farther away than others. I shook my head. Even though I could look directly at the light now, I still didn't understand it.

"C'mon," Melanie ordered angrily from several paces ahead.

I flinched and hurried to follow. I was sorry I'd let my attention wander. I could see how much it irritated her to have to speak to me.

I didn't expect the help of a flashlight when we reached the room with the rivers, and I didn't receive it. It was dimly lit now, too, like the big cave, but with only twenty-odd miniature moons here. Melanie clenched her jaw and stared at the ceiling while I walked hesitantly into the room with the inky pool. I guessed that if I stumbled into the fierce underground hot spring and disappeared, Melanie would probably see it as a kind intervention of fate.

_I think she would be sad_, Jared disagreed as I edged my way around the black bathing room, hugging the wall. _If we fell._

I doubt it. She might be reminded of the pain of losing you the first time, but she would be happy if I disappeared.

_Because she doesn't know you_, Jared whispered, and then faded away as if he were suddenly exhausted.

I stood frozen where I was, surprised. I wasn't sure, but it felt as though Jared had just given me a compliment.

"Move it," Melanie barked from the other room.

I hurried as fast as the darkness and my fear would allow.

When we returned, Jeb was waiting by the blue lamp; at his feet were two lumpy cylinders and two uneven rectangles. I hadn't noticed them before. Perhaps he'd gone to get them while we were away.

"Are you sleeping here tonight or am I?" Jeb asked Jared in a casual tone.

Melanie looked at the shapes by Jeb's feet.

"I am," she answered curtly. "And I only need one bedroll"

Jeb raised a thick eyebrow.

"It's not one of us, Jeb. You left this on me-so butt out"

"He's not an animal, either, kid. And you wouldn't treat a dog this way."

Melanie didn't answer. Her teeth ground together.

"Thought your father raised you better than this," Jeb said softly. But he picked up one of the cylinders, put his arm through a strap, and slung it over his shoulder, then stuffed one rectangle-a pillow-under his arm.

"Sorry, son," he said as he passed me, patting my shoulder.

"Cut that out!" Melanie growled.

Jeb shrugged and ambled away. Before he was out of sight, I hurried to disappear into my cell; I hid in its darkest reaches, leaning against the farthest wall with my knees up.

Instead of lurking silently and invisibly in the outside tunnel, Melanie spread her bedroll directly in front of the mouth of my prison. She plumped her pillow a few times, possibly trying to rub it in that she had one. She lay down on the mat and crossed her arms over her chest. That was the piece of her that I could see through the hole-just her crossed arms and half of her stomach.

Her skin was that same dark gold tan that had haunted my dreams for the last half year. It was very strange to have that piece of my dream in solid reality not five feet from me. Surreal.

"You won't be able to sneak past me," she warned. Her voice was softer than before-sleepy. "If you try..." She yawned. "I will kill you"

I didn't respond. The warning struck me as a bit of an insult. Why would I try to sneak past her? Where would I go? Into the hands of the barbarians out there waiting for me, all of them wishing that I would make exactly that kind of stupid attempt? Or, supposing I could somehow sneak past them, back out into the desert that had nearly baked me to death the last time I'd tried to cross it? I wondered what she thought me capable of. What plan did she think I was hatching to overthrow their little world? Did I really seem so powerful? Wasn't it clear how pathetically defenseless I was?

I could tell when she was deeply asleep because she started twitching the way Jared remembered she occasionally did. She only slept so restlessly when she was upset. I watched her fingers clench and unclench, and I wondered if she was dreaming that they were wrapped around my neck.

The days that followed-perhaps a week of them, it was impossible to keep track-were very quiet. Melanie was like a silent wall between me and everything else in the world, good or bad. There was no sound but that of my own breathing, my own movements; there were no sights but the black cave around me, the circle of dull light, the familiar tray with the same rations, the brief, stolen glimpses of Melanie; there were no touches but the pitted rocks against my skin; there were no tastes but the bitter water, the hard bread, the bland soup, the woody roots, over and over again.

It was a very strange combination: constant terror, persistent aching physical discomfort, and excruciating monotony. Of the three, the killer boredom was the hardest to take. My prison was a sensory-deprivation chamber.

Together, Jared and I worried that we were going to go mad.

_We both hear a voice in our head_, he pointed out. _That's never a good sign._

We're going to forget how to speak, I worried. How long has it been since anyone talked to us?

_Four days ago you thanked Jeb for bringing us food, and he said you were welcome. And before that was when we saw the kids and Ginny. Well, I think it was four days ago. Four long sleeps ago, at least_. He seemed to sigh. _Stop chewing your nails-it took me years to break that habit._

But the long, scratchy nails bothered me. I don't really think we need to worry about bad habits in the long term.

Melanie didn't let Jeb bring food again. Instead, someone brought it to the end of the hall and she retrieved it. I got the same thing-bread, soup, and vegetables-twice every day. Sometimes there were extra things for Melanie, packaged foods with brand names I recognized-Red Vines, Snickers, Pop-Tarts. I tried to imagine how the humans had gotten their hands on these delicacies.

I didn't expect her to share-of course not-but I wondered sometimes if she thought I was hoping she would. One of my few entertainments was hearing her eat her treats, because she always did so ostentatiously, perhaps rubbing it in the way she had with the pillow that first night.

Once, Melanie slowly ripped open a bag of Cheetos-showy about it as usual-and the rich smell of fake powdered cheese rolled through my cave... delicious, irresistible. Her favorite. She ate one slowly, letting me hear each distinct crunch.

My stomach growled loudly, and I laughed at myself. I hadn't laughed in so long; I tried to remember the last time and couldn't-just that strange bout of macabre hysteria in the desert, which really didn't count as laughter. Even before I'd come here, there hadn't been much I'd found funny.

But this seemed hilarious to me for some reason-my stomach yearning after that one small Cheeto-and I laughed again. A sign of madness, surely.

I didn't know how my reaction offended her, but she got up and disappeared. After a long moment, I could hear her eating the Cheetos again, but from farther away. I peeked out of the hole to see that he was sitting in the shadows at the end of the corridor, her back to me. I pulled my head inside, afraid she might turn and catch me watching. From then on, she stayed down at that end of the hall as much as possible. Only at night did she stretch out in front of my prison.

Twice a day-or rather twice a night, as she never took me when the others were about-I got to walk to the room with the rivers; it was a highlight, despite the terror, as it was the only time I was not hunched into the unnatural shapes my small cave forced on me. Each time I had to crawl back inside was harder than the last.

Three times that week, always during the sleeping hours, someone came to check on us.

The first time it was Kyle.

Melanie's sudden lunge to his feet woke me. "Get out of here," she warned, holding the gun ready.

"Just checking," Kyle said. His voice was far away but loud and rough enough that I was sure it was not his brother. "Someday you might not be here. Someday you might sleep too soundly"

Melanie's only answer was to cock the gun.

I heard Kyle's laughter trailing behind him as he left.

The other two times I didn't know who it was. Kyle again, or maybe Brandt, or maybe someone whose name I hadn't learned. All I knew was that twice more I was woken by Melanie jumping to her feet with the gun pointed at the intruder. No more words were spoken. Whoever was just checking didn't bother to make conversation. When they were gone, Melanie went back to sleep quickly. It took me longer to quiet my heart.

The fourth time was something new.

I was not quite asleep when Melanie started awake, rolling to her knees in a swift movement. She came up with the gun in her hands and a curse on her lips.

"Easy," a voice murmured from the distance. "I come in peace"

"Whatever you're selling, I'm not buying," Melanie growled.

"I just want to talk" The voice came closer. "You're buried down here, missing the important discussions... We miss your take on things"

"I'm sure," Melanie said sarcastically.

"Oh, put the gun down. You seriously think I'm here to hurt him?" the voice asks getting high pitched at the end. Wanda, I thought.

There was a short silence, and when Melanie spoke again, her voice carried a hint of dark humor. "How's your brother these days?" she asked. Melanie seemed to enjoy the question. It relaxed her to tease her visitor. She sat down and slouched against the wall halfway in front of my prison, at ease, but with the gun still ready.

I had a strange fluttering in the pit of my stomach thinking about the petite blonde who has saved me already twice.

"He's still fuming about his nose, and his knees, oh and don't forget the family jewels," Wanda said giggling. "Oh, well-it's not the first time it's been broken or been kicked. I'll tell him you said you were sorry"

"I'm not"

"I know. No one is ever sorry for hitting Kyle. I'm not"

They laughed quietly together; there was a sense of camaraderie in their amusement that seemed wildly out of place while Melanie held a gun loosely pointed in Wanda's direction. But then, the bonds that were forged in this desperate place must have been very strong. Thicker than blood.

Wanda sat down on the mat next to Melanie. I could see her profile in silhouette, a black shape against the blue light. I noticed that her nose was perfect-straight, aquiline, the kind of nose that I'd seen in pictures of famous sculptures. She was like a living goddess. No one would ever want to hurt her in any way.

"So what do you want, Wanda? Not just an apology for Kyle, I imagine"

"Did Jeb tell you?"

"I don't know what you're talking about"

"They've given up the search. Even the Seekers"

Melanie didn't comment, but I could feel the sudden tension in the air around her.

"We've been keeping a close watch for some change, but they never seemed overly anxious. The search never strayed from the area where we abandoned the car, and for the past few days they were clearly looking for a body rather than a survivor. Then two nights ago we caught a lucky break-the search party left some trash in the open, and a pack of coyotes raided their base camp. One of them was coming back late and surprised the animals. The coyotes attacked and dragged the Seeker a good hundred yards into the desert before the rest of them heard its screams and came to the rescue. The other Seekers were armed, of course. They scared the coyotes off easily, and the victim wasn't seriously hurt, but the event seems to have answered any questions they might have had about what happened to our guest here"

I wondered how they were able to spy on the Seekers who searched for me-to see so much. I felt strangely exposed by the idea. I didn't like the picture in my head: the humans invisible, watching the souls they hated. The thought made the skin on the back of my neck prickle.

"So they packed up and left. The Seekers gave up the search. All the volunteers went home. No one is looking for it" Her profile turned toward me, and I looked at a wall, hoping it was too dark to see me in here-that, like her face, I would appear as only a black shape. "I imagine he's been declared officially dead, if they keep track of those things the way we used to. Jeb's been saying 'I told you so' to anyone who'll stand still long enough to hear it"

Melanie grumbled something incoherent; I could only pick out Jeb's name. Then she inhaled a sharp breath, blew it out, and said, "All right, then. I guess that's the end of it"

"That's what it looks like" Wanda hesitated for a moment and then added, "Except... Well, it's probably nothing at all"

Melanie tensed again; she didn't like having her intelligence edited. "Go on"

"No one but Kyle thinks much of it, and you know how Kyle is"

Melanie grunted her assent to that.

"You've got the best instincts for this kind of thing; I wanted your opinion. That's why I'm here, taking my life into my hands to infiltrate the restricted area," Wanda said dryly, and then her voice was utterly serious again. "You see, there's this one... a Seeker, no doubt about that-it packs a Glock"

It took me a second to understand the word she used. It was a familiar part of Jared's vocabulary. She was talking about a kind of gun.

"Hmm" Melanie muttered. The wistful, envious tone in her voice made me feel slightly ill.

"Kyle was the first to notice how this one stood out. It didn't seem important to the rest-certainly not part of the decision-making process. Oh, it had suggestions enough, from what we could see, but no one seemed to listen to it. Wish we could've heard what it was saying..."

My skin prickled anxiously again.

"Anyway," Wanda continued, "when they called off the search, this one wasn't happy with the decision. You know how the parasites are always so... very pleasant? This was weird-it's the closest I've ever seen them come to an argument. Not a real argument, because none of the others argued back, but the unhappy one sure looked like it was arguing with them. The core group of Seekers disregarded it-they're all gone"

"But the unhappy one?" Melanie asked.

"It got in a car and drove halfway to Phoenix. Then it drove back to Tucson. Then it drove west again"

"Still searching"

"Or very confused. It stopped at that convenience store by the peak. Talked to the parasite that worked there, though that one had already been questioned"

"Huh," Melanie grunted. She was interested now, concentrating on the puzzle.

"Then it went for a hike up the peak-stupid little thing. Who wears all white from head to toe in the desert, even the shoes"

_She's never going to give up! That stupid...leech of a person will never give up! Ugh!_

A spasm rocked through my body; I found myself trying to stand up, my fists curling up in anger. The anger belong to Jared and to my surprise some of it came from me.

Why can't she just believe i am dead and go on with her life? I don't know what comes over me but before i can react my fist collides with one of the walls. A loud crack is heard. I bury my face in my hands trying to calm myself down a bit.

"What was that?" Wanda asked, her voice shocked.

I peeked through my fingers to see both of their faces leaning through the hole toward me. Wanda's was black, but part of Melanie's was lit, her features hard as stone.

I sank down from my knees to lean up back against the back wall, wanting to be far away from then when I am like this.

Melanie leaned away and came back with the lamp in her hands.

"Look at his eyes," Wanda muttered. "He's angry"

I could see both their expressions now, but I looked only at Melanie. Her gaze was tightly focused on me, calculating. I guessed she was thinking through what Wanda had said, looking for the trigger to my behavior.

My body wouldn't stop shaking now.

_She'll never give up_, Jared moaned.

I know, I know, I moaned back.

When had our distaste turned to fear? My stomach knotted and heaved. Why couldn't she just let me be dead like the rest of them had? When I was dead, would she hunt me still?

"Who is the Seeker in white?" Melanie suddenly barked at me.

My lips trembled, but I didn't answer. Silence was safest.

"I know you can talk," Melanie growled. "You talk to Jeb and Jamie. You talk to Wanda. And now you're going to talk to me"

She climbed into the mouth of the cave, huffing with surprise at how tightly she had to fold himself to manage it. The low ceiling forced her to kneel, and that didn't make her happy. I could see she'd rather stand over me.

I had nowhere to run. I was already wedged into the deepest corner. The cave barely had room for the two of us. I could feel her breath on my skin.

"Tell me what you know," she ordered.


End file.
